Something on my mind

Hello Everybody,
An interesting situation has been unfolding over on a different local Nashville board over the last few hours. A veteran member of the board has been shunned by a certain provider, due to some rumors about his behavior regarding how he treats certain types of providers. I do not know this gentleman, so I cannot speak to the truthfulness of the allegations, but they are what i would consider to be serious in nature. If they are true, it means that he has been acting to control relationships with providers by offering good reviews and references if they offer their services for free, or at steep discounts. It usually involves a newcomer, or younger provider with a drug problem, or huge financial crisis to overcome. This is one the lowest most despicable behaviors I can think of in this hobby, just shy of physical assault. Taking advantage of someone because they can be easily taken advantage is predatory, at the least. Providers are human beings, not pieces of meat.

As I said, I don't know the gentleman, and I don't know if any of it is true. I just would like to propose an environment of openness between the clients and providers on this board that would allow a level of understanding and trust in situations like this. I would hope by having that sort of environment, ladies could feel safe bringing these sorts of things to everyones attention, without fear of reprisal. There is nothing that bothers me more in this hobby than to hear of creepy guys doing this sort of thing. Hopefully, if it is happening, this current situation can bring some thoughtfulness to the matter from everyone here, and cause everyone to try and be nicer to each other so we can have a safe playful environment to enjoy.

Sorry for the rant, but I felt like it needed to be said.

As with most anything in life there are d-bags that try to take advantage in any way they can. They are usually the minority of the group, but stand out the most. The absolute hardest part of being a provider is trying to screen those types out. At least in my opinion.
Be safe everyone!

Unfortunately those types of situations do happen in our world and as providers we need to be knowledgeable to know when to see the signs and when to back out... not all money is good money and unfortunately it is the desperate ones that tend to get wrapped up in drama situations like this...

i know that there are some folks that view negotiating with providers as smart business, but I feel like the services provided are too valuable and personal to the provider to ask her to devalue it for any reason other than one of her own choosing. If she is slow, or needs to increase volume or income, she has the right to offer certain specials for a time. But IMHO, it's rude to ask for any favors that haven't been offered. I also can't imagine how starting a session off with a price negotiation can lead to a comfortable atmosphere where one thing leads to another and another and another. I don't think I've ever even spoken about money or price at a session. I can't remember the last time I even had to ask what the rate was, since providers typically plainly state their rates in their ads or on their websites. I just can't see how I could, in good conscience, try to take advantage of someone down on their luck by offering to help them out if they give me a freebie. That's called passive aggression. And I've heard stories from providers about clients on this site and others that have dropped the " do you know who I am?" Line, or the "if you don't make me happy, I can really hurt your business" line. This is some of the misogynistic behavior that people hear about this world we play in, that leads them to be opposed to it so strongly. Not to mention that it's just not something nice people do to one another.

Well sweetie you are one of the good ones, and most are. I personally agree with Kreme I have zero tolerance for game playing and non-sense. After awhile of talking with hobbyists there are warning signs when that type of thing is about to be said, it is best to get away from it then before it even happens.

I have come to the realization that some boards and websites act with impunity, and do not have the lady's best interests at heart. There is almost no way for a provider to respectfully defend herself or have any help defending herself without being called out for being argumentative. Some boards are basically just an old boys club, designed to give guys a place to brag about their exploits, and when things don't quite go their way, they get very butt hurt about it and blame everyone but themselves. I have a very low tolerance for BS such as this.

Well said Redrover.

I have come to the realization that some boards and websites act with impunity, and do not have the lady's best interests at heart. There is almost no way for a provider to respectfully defend herself or have any help defending herself without being called out for being argumentative. Some boards are basically just an old boys club, designed to give guys a place to brag about their exploits, and when things don't quite go their way, they get very butt hurt about it and blame everyone but themselves. I have a very low tolerance for BS such as this. Originally Posted by redrover1969

and now I've been put in time out on said board for expressing my opinions on a certain matter. Childish. Basically, if a guy says something bad about a provider, and I know that it's just not characteristic of her, I'm not allowed to advise him that he might be the problem. Maybe I'm taking this all too seriously. lol

Maybe I'm taking this all too seriously. lol Originally Posted by redrover1969

No hon, not at all. It means the world to many of us to know that some guys "get it." And not only that, it is good for the new girls to hear this from the guys, and not just us older ladies, on how she should expect to be treated, and what she should and should not tolerate.

Well said. Nailed it.

Very well said. Could be miscommunication could be controlling who knows we where not in the room how ever if it was blackmail and that is what it is blackmail then I do feel sorry for the sad excuse for a man.
In our job and services we face all kinds and face jail every day do not dare try to jew us down or blackmail us and if you do one day it will bite you in the ass.
And to the many men on this board that step up and are real and true men., THANK YOU.

I have come to the realization that some boards and websites act with impunity, and do not have the lady's best interests at heart. There is almost no way for a provider to respectfully defend herself or have any help defending herself without being called out for being argumentative. Some boards are basically just an old boys club, designed to give guys a place to brag about their exploits, and when things don't quite go their way, they get very butt hurt about it and blame everyone but themselves. I have a very low tolerance for BS such as this. Originally Posted by redrover1969

I agree as well....

Nothing much to add th that....

Redrover your not doing anything wrong my friend and I know I've been away from threads so had to say to my cotton kisses and good to see your still on your scout of b.s. haha heeyyy sonoman! Baby satin glad to see you're participating in the threads , I'm always here for advice guys I miss all of u muches and hope to hear more from you all more often we got to keep Tennessee threads Alive!!

My Dear Red,

We ladies are so fortunate to have you in our corner. You are the epitome of a perfect gentleman. If we had more gentlemen with such wonderful character and traits such as yourself, our world would be such a nicer place to live. We are so grateful.

Hugs,
Juliette

Hello Everybody,
An interesting situation has been unfolding over on a different local Nashville board over the last few hours. A veteran member of the board has been shunned by a certain provider, due to some rumors about his behavior regarding how he treats certain types of providers. I do not know this gentleman, so I cannot speak to the truthfulness of the allegations, but they are what i would consider to be serious in nature. If they are true, it means that he has been acting to control relationships with providers by offering good reviews and references if they offer their services for free, or at steep discounts. It usually involves a newcomer, or younger provider with a drug problem, or huge financial crisis to overcome. This is one the lowest most despicable behaviors I can think of in this hobby, just shy of physical assault. Taking advantage of someone because they can be easily taken advantage is predatory, at the least. Providers are human beings, not pieces of meat.

As I said, I don't know the gentleman, and I don't know if any of it is true. I just would like to propose an environment of openness between the clients and providers on this board that would allow a level of understanding and trust in situations like this. I would hope by having that sort of environment, ladies could feel safe bringing these sorts of things to everyones attention, without fear of reprisal. There is nothing that bothers me more in this hobby than to hear of creepy guys doing this sort of thing. Hopefully, if it is happening, this current situation can bring some thoughtfulness to the matter from everyone here, and cause everyone to try and be nicer to each other so we can have a safe playful environment to enjoy.

Sorry for the rant, but I felt like it needed to be said. Originally Posted by redrover1969

My Dear Red,

We ladies are so fortunate to have you in our corner. You are the epitome of a perfect gentleman. If we had more gentlemen with such wonderful character and traits such as yourself, our world would be such a nicer place to live. We are so grateful.

Hugs,
Juliette Originally Posted by Gfe Juliette

Thanks, Juliette. I just think that bad behavior on anyones part, in this hobby, is just unacceptable. There is certainly a "good ol' boy network at play on the other board I speak of, where it seems that nothing can be the guys fault, and we must remember "who and what" these ladies are, after all. When I read that particular line, I wanted to punch the guy in the face. We are all humans, even the providers. Shocker! So as it stands, this board is now my sole source of new communication and information. The other local board makes me feel filthy for ever having participated.