Hobby Nightmares - What events have been or would be yours?

In the hobby, what event, scenario, etc., has been (or would be if it happened to you or someone else) a nightmare come true. This could be something humorous that causes humilation/embarrassment or deadly serious that causes major/minor turmoil in your life or others.

In posting according to the intent of the thread, I think the following would be a nightmare come true for someone:


Imagine you check out the FOTM from the Welcome Wagon forum and find a smoking hot 18 year old who already has a couple of epic reviews. Her face pics are blurred, but her body is to die for, and credible posters say her face is drop dead gorgeous.

She also has a 200/hour review special going for an open menu GFE/PSE with greek included. You schedule, and upon arrival your daughter answers the door completely nude. That would be one hell of a catastrophic nightmare.

If I was her dad, I would be pleased she was employed.

I was with a provider once in Richmond, she was riding me CG, and I was having a great time. During the transition from CG to Doggie, I get off the bed and the smell of urine fills the air. Needless to say the moment was dead, I Superman'd her and I was through. She even had the nerve to ask when she would see me again and that others can't believe she's real. I had a few choice words for her in my mind that never manifested. The sad part is she thought she gave me a good time because I left her a tip when the truth is I didn't have any change. My absolute worst experience ever!!! But I guess that's not bad for 11 years in the game.

Mine to this day would have to be my first session with Jazzy Love
To sum it her -she had like 4 family members with her in an adjacent room- one of her "family members" literally passes out directly in front of the door- with convulsions and all-some of the other residents see it and call 911 and the EMT's arrive- they bring him into the room and before I get a chance to react -I hear sirens and the EMTs arrive- mind you I am still butt ass naked- I quickly jump in the covers hise the condoms and lube under the sheets and act as if I am "resting"- the EMT's ask Jazzy a few questions about the guys medical condition. When the EMT's have their backs turned I throw my clothes on so quick and got the fuck out of dodge. I don't think the EMT's never put 2 and 2 together and just probably thought I was a family member. If I were older and a different race it would have been very obvious why I was in that room lol.

1 - high school car sex... open car door light comes on looks like someone slaughtered a pig. She has the nerve to ask "is that from you or me?"
2 - girl shows up to hotel room, goes to bathroom to clean up. 15 minutes later i go check on her. Lying on the floor passed out. Spray shower on her to wake her up....
3 - CIM... hits back of throat... vomit. Apparently had eaten hot dogs.
4 - On massage table. She says be right back. Comes back continues massage. I reach around to feel ass and touch toilet paper hanging out of G-string.
5 - I can put my whole hand in my ass...watch. She could.
6 - During greek with a rubber... "don't cum in me I am not on the pill."... What?
7 - Comes out of bathroom... stands over me on bed. Watch... pushes out the shampoo, conditioner and lotion bottle...
8 - Pick up a civie girl and take her to hotel... after the fun she ask "you mind if I spend the night, I don't have a key to the house and my husband is home. I don't what to wake him up, he will think I was out fucking!"
9 - During an incall... we are on floor in living room doggie she is facing the couch. Front door opens and in walks roommate. Girl has a full blown conversation with roommate like I am not even there. Roommate sits on the couch and turns the TV on... I pull out take cover off and cum on her back and ass. Roommate gets up gives me a high 5 and leaves the room.
10 - Same girl with the shampoo, conditioner and lotion tricks. Wanna see how far I can pee. Lays down outside of the bathroom door.... streams about 10 foot into the bath tub...

Was the roommate a girl or guy? If it was a girl you should have pulled it out and told her you want to come in HER mouth. If it was a guy, that's creepy.

1 - high school car sex... open car door light comes on looks like someone slaughtered a pig. She has the nerve to ask "is that from you or me?"
2 - girl shows up to hotel room, goes to bathroom to clean up. 15 minutes later i go check on her. Lying on the floor passed out. Spray shower on her to wake her up....
3 - CIM... hits back of throat... vomit. Apparently had eaten hot dogs.
4 - On massage table. She says be right back. Comes back continues massage. I reach around to feel ass and touch toilet paper hanging out of G-string.
5 - I can put my whole hand in my ass...watch. She could.
6 - During greek with a rubber... "don't cum in me I am not on the pill."... What?
7 - Comes out of bathroom... stands over me on bed. Watch... pushes out the shampoo, conditioner and lotion bottle...
8 - Pick up a civie girl and take her to hotel... after the fun she ask "you mind if I spend the night, I don't have a key to the house and my husband is home. I don't what to wake him up, he will think I was out fucking!"
9 - During an incall... we are on floor in living room doggie she is facing the couch. Front door opens and in walks roommate. Girl has a full blown conversation with roommate like I am not even there. Roommate sits on the couch and turns the TV on... I pull out take cover off and cum on her back and ass. Roommate gets up gives me a high 5 and leaves the room.
10 - Same girl with the shampoo, conditioner and lotion tricks. Wanna see how far I can pee. Lays down outside of the bathroom door.... streams about 10 foot into the bath tub... Originally Posted by Looker4400

O.M.G. Takes a lot to make me actually laugh out loud! Thank you!
spikebaby

One of the best reviews I have ever seen, had to be a review on this site when one guy went to a session and was so horrified by how the session proceeded that when he was due he was thinking of leaving the lifestyle... that was the best hobby nightmare story and I couldnt help but laugh because he told it in such a funny way.

OMG..Looker4400.. that is too good Thank you for the laugh!

Mine would be..

I'm all on fours.. "Gus" on his 2 hind legs..lol.
He gets done with his business then all of a sudden I hear a loud thump.
He literally fell straight back into the wall and on the floor.
I jumped up so fast and offered to help him up.
He was so embarrassed, he quickly got himself together and showed himself to the door. I laughed myself to sleep that night..lol

Then there was that one time I had a cordless vibrator stuck up my back end.. not too much to tell there..lol
Word to the wise.. the more you laugh, the deeper it goes!!!

Edit: oh man!! I almost forgot the one who lost his dentures in my hoohaa! He was going to town up and down, up and down.. then all of a sudden I felt a sharp BITE! I screamed, he jumped, and I see a full set of teeth come out from my butterfly. Lord have mercy! To top it off.. he just left them out and through them on the floor next to the bed.. LMAO!

OP, my nightmare scenario would be... If I ran out of hobby funds.

If I was her dad, I would be pleased she was employed. Originally Posted by Prolongus

LMAO! The nightmare would be that even if you review her, and she becomes your ATV, as her dad you would never qualify for the grandfathered 200/hour rate.

JUST KIDDING!

Scenario: Being a newbie in a session with a petite provider I was overly cautious about how I engaged in activities with her. Very light pounding, gentle touches to move her around etc.....after 10 minutes or so she grabbed my head with both hands and stated "you need to be rougher with me otherwise we "both" will leave disappointed"! Ok, light bulb goes off in my head and the session immediately goes from 0 to 70.
I start pounding and pulling hair and picking her up and positioning her how I want without regard. She gets extremely vocal and bites and scratches me in the heat of the moment (I play along because I know she's into it but I am in pain). I flip her on her back and force her legs over her head and start pounding away. As I am in the moment, I start feeling the volcano erupt and my knees started to get weak. She must've picked up on it because she starts yelling "NOOOOO!!!" Then she hauls back and slaps the shit out of me........HARD!!!
I was literally seeing white in my left eye!!! I was stunned, she apologized for it and we finished (in doggie lol!) I still am contemplating to this day if that was a great session or a horrible one. I had a blast, but I left there in pain and, to be honest, my feelings were a little hurt. For the first time in my life, I knew how it felt to be a little pussy ass bitch. Yup, that's how she made me feel. I think I kind of liked it though? That experience has conflicted me for so many years. I wouldn't call it a nightmare, just more of an experience that haunts and baffles me to this day!!!

Note to self: Try to go out for beers with Looker4400. That's book material!

One, back when I was in my early 20's, chat up a gal at the bar, stacked. Get to my room,she takes off her bra, the stack falls below her belly button. John Henry goes limp.

Recent- 12 months back- hot hot over the top reviewed Dallas , paid top dollar gratuity, lying naked on my back, she announces while climbing on the cot at my feet, fully dressed, sorry, got my periods. John Henry goes limp.

My first cell with text, running late for a first appointment an hour from home, intervening car wreck, nervous, trying to type use the phone alpha, explaining, sending garbled 1/3 sentences, after a bunch of these, she calls, I am over the top stuttering ( I don't ), she says walk to such and such a place on arrival, then she texts, come into the courtyard, then gives me the incall number. I am greeted , allowed to enter, come face to face with a 6' 2" dude that can wipe me out with one punch. She explains my texts scared her and she asked the next door friend with bennies to be there. I explain my plight. We all laugh, enjoy the wine i brought, agree to meet again ex the protector. We became ATFs until she retired. OOPS a good ending for a bad start.

Got more to tell but my two finger typing needs a rest. Likely all y'all are bored .