describe the hottest striptease/table dance you've ever had, or for the gals, ever given..

so encounters inside or outside the club are fair game. runner-up and honorable mentions are also good to go.

i want to thank all the guys and gals who have refrained from making every thread a troll thread or a toxic thread, and also UC for doing a standup job preventing eccie houston coed from sliding back into its previous cesspool incarnation. keep up the great and on-topic posts, gents and ladies!

i'll share my favorite stripteases or two after i read a few of ya'lls'.

hobby intel for the gents: Champagne Brown has one of the best i've seen inside the hobby. any other hobby tips are welcomed, as our provider strip tease brags, if accurate lol. best brag tho is a detailed accounting of one or 2 stripteases that went totally off the chain..

an interesting subcategory is stripteases that produced at least one o for either the gal, the guy, or better yet, both.. (**but, "accidental" penetration o's do not make the cut for this thread, sorry lol. that might be a thread for pitt..)

signed, #iamnotthehobbyjustanordinarys chmucktryintomakeit..

Wet naked gal, just out of ocean, rolls in sand till completely covered, stands up and very slowly brushes the sand off, with her fingertips, in various patterns. Note she's positioned herself so she is outlined in front of the sunrise.

Disclaimer, yeah we slept on an east coast beach earlier that morning

^^good shit UC! well done on all counts..

so my #1 happened at a ratty ass club-ghetto af-in Arlington, Texas, in a place which later burned down-fucking flambe-called Peeping Tom's, not far from where the Rangers played..

i dig black strip clubs cause the gals are freaky af and the skinny gals with big booties are just my addiction, so frequently i find myself the only white guy in an all black club. i'd ask my (white) buddies to join me, and they always had some kind of excuse. "i'm broke" or "i gotta hot date" or "i'm busy packing for my trip to Amsterdam." ya sure, whatever. dude can't even afford a flight to Amsterdam, nvmn a full 2-week vacation with all the trimmings..

for awhile i roomed with a dude from the bahamas, and at least he wasn't afraid (obviously) of black clubs, but after it became clear that he couldn't really conceptualize the idea that bills came every month-crazy idea, i know!-i had to send his sorry ass packing. claimed to be worth a cool mill at one point from "entrepeneurship," and now he can't even cover his half of the rent? wtf.

#beanantnotagrasshopper..
#afool&hismoneyaresoonparted..

but i digress. so i go to Peeping Tom's, and on this occasion, i'm the only white patron in the whole joint. i'm not worried about bad shit going down; i flash a broad smile anywhere i look, and if that doesn't get the job done, i meet evil eye with evil eye for any gangstas lookin for signs of weakness from their white brotha who appreciates those fine ebony queens, as if to say, you need some head-butting therapy? i'm down, lets do the dam thing, i'll crack your skull or you'll crack mine, i give zero fuks either way; it's still free anger management in my book. i love free shit: reminds me of Vegas, where the only money i ever spend is on tips-like in a strip club, always bring lotsa ones. (psa: Lake Charles is where high rollers go to become low rollers..
#laubergefuckery..) but on this day, the club's vibe is totally chill..

and on the side stage is this fine yellabone chick-it turned out that was her name, yellabone lol-with an absolutely bodacious booty-even Sir Mixalot would approve-and i go up there with my wallet bursting with ones-big ballin ha ha-and about 180 in 20s to cover the table dances for the night. (never hit an atm at a strip club or casino. it's bad juju, and shows you lack bankroll discipline and you're getting played. and if you even so much as mention taking out a marker, imma beat ur ass, right here right now. i promise you'll have a teachable moment, and you will have been well schooled..)

and the side stage turned out to be the perfect height for what she had in mind, which was absolutely devious. but good devious, u know. she shimmies up, backwards on her knees, turns her head sideways til our eyes meet, and for whatever reason, we both bust out laughing, and then she proceeds to do sum crazy muthafuckin tricks and wonky-ass stripper's customized treats..

first, she uses her ass muscles to grab my cock right down her asscrack, while i reach around to stuff ones securely on her rock-hard nipples, and beneath her g-string onto her ginormous and engorged clit, and her sopping pussy below. she does not flinch, but erupts in not-quite-gran-mal epilectic fits as she cums at least twice. hawt. and no shoulder taps from overly-observant bouncers to boot!

then she does something that you won't ever see in a strip club unless it's in the vip or it's ghetto af like Peepin' Toms-think Harlem Knights, u know. she slides her g-string/thong thingee aside, and without ever touching my cock with her hands, grabs my cock with her ass muscles and takes me into full italian, while i'm raining down ones like a nasty-ass, roof-denting Texas hailstorm. (quick! finda bridge! remember you got that 500 deductible!) i think i was wearing some soft polyester sweats, because by this time, i am literally dripping a fountain of precum, and she starts dripping her own pre-cum from her own bodacious ass. btw, ass-cum is straight up manna from the gods. (hobby intel footnote: Secret_Baby ass cums during greek like nobody's business.) and this goes on for what seems like forever-i'm literally worried i'm gonna nut like Old Faithful right there on the side stage in front of everyone-until i hear the DJ bark out, to save me in the nick of time, "and on the center stage, cumming up we have the beautiful Londyn, on the side stage, the lovely Afro Dite, and to the shower, we have the entrancing, perfectly dancing, inviting and always exciting, ass for daze which is always playin-i see this gent here on the side stage got the memo-the inimitable, always copied but never sequeled, Miss Yellabone.."

now that was a worthy stripper dance imo..

i meant to say never equaled, but maybe never sequeled could work as well lol..

Would definitely be my time at Spa Houston way back when....they had such a great table shower room. I'd love getting my Gents all excited while bathing them. Makes for a spicier session.