Funniest Moments Hobbying

Let's hear about your funniest moments in the hobby. No need to name any names just share your funniest experience. I'll start off with mine.

A good while back I scheduled with a nicely built lady, she has a rack the size of footballs and a small little waist, you get the picture LOL. Anyway we met for my BD present to me and I was ready for some fun. Well she was a visiting lady and she had a new puppy she brought with her. We started getting down to business in K9 and since I am tall my feet hung off the edge of the bed. About the time it was getting right I feel this wet tongue lick me between the toes. I keep going and my toes must have tasted good because about 5 seconds later.....well those puppy teeth are like needles on your toes. I was a trooper and hung in there but every time things started getting right OUCH!!!! there were those teeth again. I thought (and probably she did too) that I was never going to finish. This happened twice, good thing I booked a 2 hour visit.

Ok now it's your turn, lets have a good laugh.

It wasn't a hobby encounter, but I dated a girl who had a full blood husky. We were going at it doggie, and he came in the room snuck up on me and gave my balls a lick. Scared the shit out of me and almost gave myself a haircut with the ceiling fan

It wasn't a hobby encounter, but I dated a girl who had a full blood husky. We were going at it doggie, and he came in the room snuck up on me and gave my balls a lick. Scared the shit out of me and almost gave myself a haircut with the ceiling fan Originally Posted by diveguy6

ROFLMAO That story may not be hobby related sir but it is very funny and I can use a good laugh.....thank you.

What is it with all these dog stories? My funny hobby story pertains to a dog, too.

Several years back, I had a suspicious SO call me to find out why my number was on her husbands call log repeatedly. I also happened to be selling some Doberman puppies at the time... So I told her that perhaps her husband had been in contact with me about a puppy. He almost had to buy one at that point. He picked out a cute little red and rust female. Always wondered if he named it Ginger. Lol

ROFLMAO That story may not be hobby related sir but it is very funny and I can use a good laugh.....thank you. Originally Posted by clydesdale

Hilarious!
The Selena collapsing bed story should be retold.

Not the same kind of funny but one session Brittany showed me 2 of the funniest Youtube videos I ever saw...the one with the fire, bronchitis and Ain't nobody got time for that. (Sweet Brown (IIRC) nd the one with the crazy brother describing when the rapist came through the window into the apartment in the projects. That should not have been funny but the guy was hilarious. We laid in each other's arms laughing like crazy.

Hilarious!
The Selena collapsing bed story should be retold.

Not the same kind of funny but one session Brittany showed me 2 of the funniest Youtube videos I ever saw...the one with the fire, bronchitis and Ain't nobody got time for that. (Sweet Brown (IIRC) nd the one with the crazy brother describing when the rapist came through the window into the apartment in the projects. That should not have been funny but the guy was hilarious. We laid in each other's arms laughing like crazy. Originally Posted by Rockydoc

Haha!!! Britt texted me that apartment window rapist "hide your wife" YouTube, and I almost choked on my drink. That one and Listen, Linda. My all-time faves! Lol

What is it with all these dog stories? My funny hobby story pertains to a dog, too.

Several years back, I had a suspicious SO call me to find out why my number was on her husbands call log repeatedly. I also happened to be selling some Doberman puppies at the time... So I told her that perhaps her husband had been in contact with me about a puppy. He almost had to buy one at that point. He picked out a cute little red and rust female. Always wondered if he named it Ginger. Lol Originally Posted by Ginger Doll

LOL I wonder what thoughts ran through his head every time he looked at that dog LOL. On one side....."damn it I almost got my ass caught and really jammed up". On the other side "damn that was a good time with a beautiful sexy lady.....well worth it even if it did cost me buying this dog". LOL

Hilarious!
The Selena collapsing bed story should be retold.

Not the same kind of funny but one session Brittany showed me 2 of the funniest Youtube videos I ever saw...the one with the fire, bronchitis and Ain't nobody got time for that. (Sweet Brown (IIRC) nd the one with the crazy brother describing when the rapist came through the window into the apartment in the projects. That should not have been funny but the guy was hilarious. We laid in each other's arms laughing like crazy. Originally Posted by Rockydoc

Collapsing bed story??? I haven't heard that one yet......where's Selena?

It wasn't a hobby encounter, but I dated a girl who had a full blood husky. We were going at it doggie, and he came in the room snuck up on me and gave my balls a lick. Scared the shit out of me and almost gave myself a haircut with the ceiling fan Originally Posted by diveguy6

I have been cold nosed a couple of times. The worst was by a great Dane that I didn't even know she had.

I remember reading a story from a Tennessee forum, a long time ago, that involved a dog. It wasn't really all that funny for the guy involved. It was mainly just gross. Some poor bastard went to an incall notel where a provider was living with her dog. He concluded his short visit by stepping in dog shit and then noticing that the dog had pissed all over his clothes in the floor. He had to drive home in dog piss covered clothes.

This topic reminded me of a visit with the long retired Sadie. Fortunately our visit wasn't our first or last.
We were in a room located directly in front of an LE training location. We weren't aware of this.
Our session was well underway when sirens and LE on loud speakers were ordering commands. Needless to say, we looked at each other, had no idea what was going on outside our room, and neither of us were going outside to find out!
As the noise continued and we were out of full lust mode, it was obvious a late night new officer training session was being conducted within 100 ft. of our room!!! The loud speakers were blaring commands to new hires NOT anyone at the hotel! Thankfully!
After a good laugh and a drink or two, we resumed our session. True to form, Sadie was phenomenal and I was totally pleased ..... even if I aged due to the surprise.

For me it's got to be the great mouse (RAT) hunt at Selena's house. I was met at the door by a naked Selena asking if I was afraid of mice. I replied "not at all". She then pointed me to the kitchen and, the biggest fucking mouse I ever saw (RAT). At that point the chase and hunt was on. To make a log story short. It did not end well for the RAT. The complete story can be found in the review I posted for that session....

Funny or terrifying?

I pick terrifying. It was maybe my 2nd date as a provider. Saw a guy for 2 hours of nipple play (his nipples) and a hand job. Lucky for me it was just a hand job because when he came, bright red blood shot out! I thought I killed him!! He was so calm about it "sometimes this happens". WTF! It's not normal for that much blood to come out of any hole on the male body!

He just cleaned up with the hotel towels, took a quick shower and left. So now I'm stuck with blood stained hotel towels like I just cleaned up a murder scene. Good thing the room was in his name! I packed my shit and left. Never saw him again. I'm still scared to this day of guys on their "man periods". Luckily nothing like that has ever happened again

I was in mid "face riding mod with an elderly gent when his headboard broke in my hands! He said "Don't worry about it.It is my mom's bed"!! {she had been dead for over 15 years and he still lived in her house and slept in her bed}

Not my story, but a friend told me of a time he was getting a BBBJ from a provider. As he reached his climax, she got the hiccups. Apparently it was pretty messy!