Too much porn?

jpjohnson7454's Avatar
I maybe see 2 providers a year. Been married about 5 years and only with a few other women. I love porn and love to watch it. I fantasy about women like that and would love to partake on a gangbang with a young 18-25 year old. So my sexuality is strong. The last time i was with a provider, i couldnt get a long hard on. She could get me up and ready but every time a rubber came out. It would go limp. I felt like i needed to stay hard for the rubber and not for sex. Therefore i would think too much about it. Im only 24 so i shouldnt be having these problems. Then i wonder if too much porn and bare sex as made me have a sexual habit. If so what would anyone recommend for me to do? Performance drugs and just lay off the porn? Cause its usually a couple times a day when i do.
ThrillBill88's Avatar
Go see a doc ASAP. If the blood flow is restricted to the main vein, then it's often restricted to the heart also.
Thrillbill is probably giving good advice.
Porn normally helps, but the blue pill helps, too.
Chica Chaser's Avatar
Sounds like a good case of nerves......we've all been there! If you get it up and keep it up at home, then there's probably no physical problem. I always get nervous before seeing a new lady; it just goes with the territory.
TexTushHog's Avatar
Could be stress, but it could also be a medical problem. Get checked out by your doc first to rule out the most serious contingencies.
jpjohnson7454's Avatar
I know its not a medical problem. At home, im like a animal. It took me 4 times before i could get it up enough for my first time. I always heard the blue bill wont even work with nerves.
Chica Chaser's Avatar
I felt like i needed to stay hard for the rubber and not for sex. Therefore i would think too much about it. Originally Posted by jpjohnson7454
I know its not a medical problem. At home, im like a animal. It took me 4 times before i could get it up enough for my first time. I always heard the blue bill wont even work with nerves. Originally Posted by jpjohnson7454
Forget the blue pill. You are over-thinking the whole thing.

Research the provider you are thinking of seeing. You should have a pretty good idea of how your session will go long before you make that first contact. Read her ads, read her reviews (multiple websites usually), read the comments to those reviews, know what she looks like, know what she offers. Take particular note of review comments as to her attitude, her demeanor, her incall location and tidiness. In short, do anything and everything you can to make yourself comfortable that she is the one you want to see and there should be no surprises.

I don't know what to say about the porn thing. Porn today doesn't do anything for me personally. In most cases, the actors are so far removed from the real world it just seems fake. I hate when I visit a provider and she has porn on in the background, its just a distraction. I politely ask her if we can turn it off and make our own!
runswithscissors's Avatar
at 24 years old you are putting way too much mental pressure on yourself. You stated that at home you are an animal; I personally think you should re-think your time in Hobbyland, sounds to me like there is some underlying issues for why you seem to have trouble with a provider. Something to think about........
Crash Davis's Avatar
My bet is on stress....and you are now sensative to the issue so you are dewelling on it. Doubt very much the condom is the issue. Most of us have been there at one time, sometimes I'm so stressed I'm glad my provider was not scheduled that evening....as I'm just not in the mood, and she is a knockout......it's not the porn dude!
Nope, not the porn at all! I agree with what most have said...at first it was nerves, and now you are overthinking...dwelling...
Do you feel as though you are cheating when you are with a provider?
Are you more nervous when you are with a provider?
Do you fear as though you wont perform good enough for her?
Does she intimidate you?
Knowing what is going on in you head will help get you over this hurdle a great deal....so think through what is in your head and make sense to why you think and feel like that, and what to do to put those thoughts to rest.
Porn actually helps...while you are with a provider, try to play it out in your mind like a porn....you and her are just actors in a skit...distance yourself from the moment and try to 'watch' the events unfold in the third person. I have known this trick to help out a few that I have been with. It helps settle the nerves.
Oh, and if you are paying for some sex from a provider, that is not cheating....IMHO
jp,

I am the same way sometimes. I had sessions with either so-so looking or with playboy material providers where I could not perform the way I wanted to. I also had sessions with some extremely (intimidatingly) good looking women where I performed like a stallion. I am above 40 now, I started this before some providers were even born and still act the same way sometimes. It is not easy, but it is a mental game first and foremost. After a long break one gets overexcited, overstressed and tires quickly as a result. But the main thing is to RELAX mentally. What helps me a lot is taking some time to spend with a provider before the session. A lunch or dinner, a couple of martinis in a bar etc. And the same during a session. Don't get physical right away; take it slow, build some slow rhythm, make a lot of conversation, take some breaks before moving to the next level and it will help you quite a bit.
If I have to sum it up, I would say that in order to perform well, one needs to be relaxed not as much physically but mentally.
Sorry if the above sounds patronizing; just trying to help by offering my input.

Moto
My take is that the women you do see do not live up to your fantasies, which are born in porn land. You probably get very aroused at the idea of a new lady, the moment is very intense at the outset so having an erection is not a problem. But as the session continues and the reality replaces the fantasy, and the desensitizing condom comes on, you lose much of your desire.

If I am correct, what is the answer? Maybe FS is not your cup of tea. You can still have lots of fun without that. At least I think you can. It does require the correct lady, because many of them rely on their, um, heavenly place to get you off. If they have to utilize their minds just a bit, it might be too taxing for some.

Good luck. By the way, I recognize that my take on the subject might be nothing but hot air. So take it or leave it.
swpaul's Avatar
i agree the porn is not an issue, i think most of us here enjoy it. stress of meeting someone new adds alot of pressure on the mind. you may become overexcited and that could slow your roll.
jpjohnson7454's Avatar
at 24 years old you are putting way too much mental pressure on yourself. You stated that at home you are an animal; I personally think you should re-think your time in Hobbyland, sounds to me like there is some underlying issues for why you seem to have trouble with a provider. Something to think about........ Originally Posted by runswithscissors
no underlying issues. I also didn't mean animal in like im a god in bed. Just at home and around the wife i want sex all the time. Have no problem getting up and ready.

So i suppose everyone is right. Its all mental for me. But i dont think its because i need it to be more like porn. Heck i just want to have a good time with another woman. Thats what turns me on. I have no problem around women. Now i havent been with a super stripper type but then that might help me better. I remember my very first time, i had no problem getting up. She was a big gal and straight to the point. So maybe i just need quick to the point action. But she did do a cbj, so when it came time for the next level there was a quick transaction. Now that i think about it, it always happens when there is a break for second. I guess it gets my mind off the action and onto keeping it up. Therefore i lose the erection.