So, whut tha hell's up.

David.Douchehurst's Avatar
Tha werd onna street wuz thet one o' tha gals a-givin' up a prize fer ol Whisperola's Crissmuss party donations wuz 'sposed ta win a hamburger date wif meh. Did it happen? If'n it did, iz tha winner gonna claim it, cuz, if'n they don't give a good gottdamm ta have a burger wif me, Ah needs ta know. Utherwise, Ah'm a gonna trash tha coupons Ah got. Ah ain't gonna be upset if'n tha winner ain't innerested inna burger an mebbe a cerveza wif me. Ah culd care less if'n tha saucy hot tamale l'il heifers 'round h'yar don't got a taste fer tha Douche. Ah gots ta live mah own life and if'n enny o' y'all don't like meh, y'all kin kiss mah ass in fronta ol' Stevie Ray's statchyoo. Ah jus' gots a time limit cuz Ah'm a-busy a-plannin' mah 2014 race fer Loo'tinent Guv'nor an' Ah ain't gots tha time ta waste burnin' daylight on enny goldurn foolishness. Tha clock is a-tickin', y'all.
Now, what woman, in her right mind, would turn down a prize like that?? When I consider the political discourse we could share - it makes me all goose-pimply!!

I hope the lucky lady claims her prize :-)


Aphrodite
Whispers's Avatar
That lady was not present and may not be aware of her luck.

I am pretty sure she will take you up on the Lunch offer.

I think Scarlett might want to chaperone.

and unlike other prizes that did not appeal to everyone, I think EVERY lady wanted the opportunity to meet you! one or more of the ladies might be trying to trade their prize for that burger,,,,,
David.Douchehurst's Avatar
That lady was not present and may not be aware of her luck.

I am pretty sure she will take you up on the Lunch offer.

I think Scarlett might want to chaperone.

and unlike other prizes that did not appeal to everyone, I think EVERY lady wanted the opportunity to meet you! one or more of the ladies might be trying to trade their prize for that burger,,,,, Originally Posted by Whispers
Well fer all the filly's thet din't win, if'n they wants ta buy meh a burger ... As a politician Ah ain't never turned down a free lunch yet. Even if they don't exist. Except fer whena lobbyist wants ta tell ya why ya shuld vote thar way.
David.Douchehurst's Avatar
Now, what woman, in her right mind, would turn down a prize like that?? When I consider the political discourse we could share - it makes me all goose-pimply!!

I hope the lucky lady claims her prize :-)


Aphrodite
Originally Posted by Aphrodite
Goose-pimply? Ah hear they makes an ointment fer thet.
Lucky lady indeed! No need to chaperone though, unless DD wants me to. The lady is in perfectly good hands.
I think?
David.Douchehurst's Avatar
Mah hands may be safe, but Ah've bin known ta bite. 'Specially if'n she tries ta take one o' my onyun rings wiffout askin'. Don't start no shee'yit, won't be no shee'yit. Thet's mah motto.
DD, you have created mass hysteria, Sir. Even me and Claire accused each other of being you!!!! Girls....quit asking.. I will never tell! Boys, you too! If'n ya wanna know who DD is ya gotta work fer it! Thats what I was told anyway.

Ima sucker for a mysterious man that makes me laugh!
fun2come's Avatar
LOL, Scarlett, may be you need to change your handle, cause it's like all over your handle, the mass hysteria that is ....
Whispers's Avatar
I've been asked if I was DD as well!

I can be funny but he's fucking hilarious! He needs to be signed up for Open Mic Night at the Ve Veeta Room sometime and we all need to go enjoy his act!
David.Douchehurst's Avatar
DD, you have created mass hysteria, Sir. Even me and Claire accused each other of being you!!!! Originally Posted by Scarlett Rossi
Y'all serious? Y'all thought Ah wuz a woman? Whut in tar-nay-shun!?!?! Well, as much as Ah seem to drive sumy'all fillies all loco en la cabeza whut wuld thet make meh? Ol' Rosie Palm's sec'nd cuzzin twice removed? Ol' Wilma ... Wilma Fingerdo? Well, Ah ain't never bin so slandered in all ma born days! Wilma Fingerdo! Thet's sum kinda bullshee'yit right thar!
LOL, Scarlett, may be you need to change your handle, cause it's like all over your handle, the mass hysteria that is .... Originally Posted by fun2come

I don't get it? What am I missing? I kinda just wanted to use one of those Christmas emoticons too, though. Two birds and all that...
Beagle's Avatar
Well, folks......sorry to disappoint you but DD is just a puppet with a guy's hand up his arse.....

David.Douchehurst's Avatar
Thet thar's a lie! Mah doc toldt meh thet wuz all a reg'lur part uv mah colonoscopy! He musta got paid by thet ven-tril-ah-mah-kwist on tha side. Ah din't even git paid no residumadals fer thet. Y'all cain't holdt meh ta nunna whut Ah said on thet clip thar. Ah wuz higher than a kite on them preee-scrip-shun meds they use fer thet sorta pooper-submarine-periscope procedure. On tha brite side, mah shitter wuz cleaner than a whistle. Them pree-scrip-shun laxatives will clean ya out like a righteous muthafuckah! But if'n enny o' y'all heifers wiff a strap-on are gettin' any idears, mah bunghole is EXIT ONLY, 'lessin' y'all are in mah HMO netwerk. Momma din't raise no fool. Ah wants mah reee-im-burse-ah-mint!