Redneck Medical Terms

Sweet N Little's Avatar
The Redneck Dictionary of Medical Terms


Benign................What you be after you be eight.

Artery..................The study of paintings.

Bacteria............Back door to cafeteria.

Barium................What doctors do when patients die.

Cesarean Section......A neighborhood in Rome.

CTscan....................Sear ching for kitty.

Cauterize.................Made eye contact with her.

Colic................A sheep dog.

Coma................A punctuation mark.

D & C.....................Where Washington is.

Dilate...............To live long.

Enema.....................Not a friend.

Fester................Quicker than someone else.

Fibula................A small lie.

G.I. Series...............World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail..................What you hang your coat on.

Impotent..................Dist inguished, well known.

Labor Pain...............Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff...........A Doctor's cane.

Morbid....................A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates...........Cheaper than day rates.

Node.................I knew it.

Outpatient...............A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear...............A fatherhood test.

Post Operative.........A letter carrier.

Recovery Room........Place to do upholstery.

Rectum....................Darn near killed him.

Secretion.........Hiding something.

Seizure..........Roman emperor.

Tablet.................A small table.

Terminal Illness........Getting sick at the airport.

Tumor...................More than one.

Urine....................Oppos ite of you're out.
Funny stuff. The other day I was taking a client through a pre-year-end inventory run and he kept telling me to give him a "year-end sample." But he had a heavy hillbilly accent and was saying I needed to give him a "yer in sample." I kept thinking, "why does he want a urine sample from me?"
Sweet N Little's Avatar
lmao JD!! too funny









funnnnny :-)))))))))) thanks!!!! for posting this, Sweet!
LOL... I like the computer one better.
  • Paven
  • 12-26-2011, 09:34 PM
It's all a hoot to me, nothing like some good laughs before bedtime lol.
Sweet N Little's Avatar
It's all a hoot to me, nothing like some good laughs before bedtime lol. Originally Posted by Paven
I thought so, you have to read the word..then the definition, then go back and say it in country slang lol I just love to laugh and am easily entertained



Check out this song Nicolet posted about Walmart its too funny!!
http://www.break.com/index/people-of...t-song-2063156




  • Paven
  • 12-26-2011, 09:54 PM
Well I had just gotten finished watching The Blue Collar Tour on CMT which I've seen before but those guys crack me up . So it was perfect timing.
Sweet N Little's Avatar
Well I had just gotten finished watching The Blue Collar Tour on CMT which I've seen before but those guys crack me up . So it was perfect timing. Originally Posted by Paven
I love them!!! Ron White is my favorite ...Tater...tater salad




  • Paven
  • 12-26-2011, 10:07 PM
Oh my Sweet those dogs are so funny!

Are you Ron Tater Salad White? Said the officer lol.
Always talking about his rich in laws and how he can't wait for them to die LOL.
Terrible just terrible lol.
hahaha..cool!!
setman's Avatar
Redneck sex test.

You might be a redneck if you answer TRUE to five or more of these questions:

01. The clitoris is a type of flower.

02. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.

03. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.

04. Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack.

05. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.

06. A G-string is part of a fiddle.

07. Semen is a term for sailors.

08. Anus is a Latin term for yearly.

09. Testicles are found on an Octopus.

10. Asphalt describes rectal problems.

11. KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati.

12. Masturbate is used to catch large fish.

13. Coitus is a musical instrument.

14. Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.

15. An umbilical chord is part of a parachute.

16. A condom is a large apartment complex.

17. An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir.

18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.

19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.

20. An erection is when Japanese people vote.

21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.

22. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.

23. Pornography is the business of making records.

24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.

25. Douche is the French word for "twelve".


Enjoy yourself.

Stay safe.

Be cool.

Setty does.
almostagentleman's Avatar
I love them!!! Ron White is my favorite ...Tater...tater salad




Originally Posted by Sweet N Little
My son.........Tater tot.