FOOTBALL & BASEBALL

I LOVE FOOTBALL! It makes me look forward to Sunday, it makes me pay for cable, it turns Mondays and Thursdays into "who's playing tonight?" days. The only problem is that football season is too short, if you ask me.

I never got too much into baseball, though...

George Carlin did a comedy routine about the differences between baseball and football:

"Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball & football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.
I enjoy comparing baseball and football:

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park.The baseball park!
Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.

Football is concerned with downs - what down is it?
Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up?

In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.

In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...
In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.

Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
Football has the two minute warning.

Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - might have extra innings.
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.

In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.

And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!"
shrek's Avatar
  • shrek
  • 11-16-2014, 07:53 PM
I used to live for baseball... Now I'm depressed after the super bowl
They both suck...js.
Mokoa's Avatar
  • Mokoa
  • 11-16-2014, 11:33 PM
I remember the Carlin routine quite well!

Pure comedic genius..
Manster711's Avatar
Wow Camille I'm with you, I was thinking exactly the same thing as I was looking at the remaining schedule last week and it just hit me that there's only six games left in the regular season. Football is so intense and intriguing that You get lost as to where in the schedule your team is at. I'm already starting to think of the withdrawal symptoms I'm going to feel after the Super Bowl. Baseball is just so boring. Only way I'm watching it is if they have a lousy pitcher. I want to see the outfielders and infielder make some plays. I want some action. Otherwise just watching the two or three replays in pitching duel sucks. Football players wouldn't last to many more games as there'd be to many injuries. We'll just have to suffer through it.
And this season is so full of "waiting for the other shoe to drop" moments, do you know what I mean? Some "too good to be true" situations going on

Six games... But like you said, way too many chances for some very serious injuries. Any given Sunday.
Exithere's Avatar
Wow Camille I'm with you, I was thinking exactly the same thing as I was looking at the remaining schedule last week and it just hit me that there's only six games left in the regular season. Football is so intense and intriguing that You get lost as to where in the schedule your team is at. I'm already starting to think of the withdrawal symptoms I'm going to feel after the Super Bowl. Baseball is just so boring. Only way I'm watching it is if they have a lousy pitcher. I want to see the outfielders and infielder make some plays. I want some action. Otherwise just watching the two or three replays in pitching duel sucks. Football players wouldn't last to many more games as there'd be to many injuries. We'll just have to suffer through it. Originally Posted by Manster711
...and that's why there is basketball... ijs
A corollary discussion topic: For maximum enjoyment of a sport, should you be at the event or watch it on TV? My votes:

Baseball: Live
Football: TV
Basketball: Either
Hockey: Live
Soccer: Neither. Once your kids are done with it, fuck it.
Golf (as a spectator): TV
Auto Racing: Tough call. Slight edge to TV.
Figure Skating: TV, but only for the crotch shots of the babes and the epic crashes from a failed Triple Salchow
Bowling: TV. But who's life is so meaningless that they would watch on TV or worse, pay to go and watch someone else do it?
Horse Racing: Live
Olympics: TV
Sex: Either. As a sporting event, live or on video, you have to pay to get the best.
They both suck...js. Originally Posted by polo1970
I agree ..MMA ftw !
I used to feel the same way about football season. And I still love the college game where a single loss can be the kiss of death. A lot more drama in college football, IMO. But, OMG, the endless commercials are just about ruining it for me. A game should last no longer than 3 hours, 3:15 max!!!!!!