Sam got her first taste of RUDE today, any advice you guys want to give her?
She called me tonite to let me know what this douchebag said. He was irritated since she didnt return his text within 10 mins. It took her an hour because heaven forbid she was enrolling in college courses and doesnt live out of a hotel room fucking 10 men a day like his references do and another provider that has moved far far away. She has a job, life, family, friends and school. He went as far as to tell her she is fake and doesnt "sound" asian. WTF? How is asian supposed to sound? That is like not sounding black, indian, white, etc. I found it offensive and I took up for her tonight. She nor anyone else deserves that treatment. Here is an american guy wanting to see an asian lady, but is making racist remarks! What a loser.
So should I post his info? Ill gladly do it....
You guys have any words of encouragement? This is frustrating, she is new and on her own lately, and is a bit scared to get on the boards because of stuff like this that she has been encountering just thru emails and phone calls. Im like the "mommy" she says and she knows Ive got balls(not really) to tell him to stick it up his ass so she called me a few mins ago. Help her out please or ya wont be seeing her opening up to new clients.
She should set him up to meet you in a dark alley.
Haha marco, and might pull off some of those kick ass moves I learned from a Marine ya think...by the way he is on p411 and TER, goes to show no matter what credentials someone has they can still be a jerk. I just wanted to put it out there...they are learning how cruel this stuff can be, and they were used to me being in the middle and now its direct hits. Please be gentle. Ill get her to get on and look at what you guys are recommending, from a guys perspective would be very helpful.
Here's how the world works....80% of the people are middle of the road and even tempered. 10% are push overs because they are to nice. Then 10% are ass holes and get a kick out of making life hell for others. Tell her not to focus on the 10% who are ass holes. Focus on the 90% who are a pleasure to deal with.
Some you can please, some you can't, so what....next!
so you come here and insult his references because of what he did and you are any better? really?
Here's how the world works....80% of the people are middle of the road and even tempered. 10% are push overs because they are to nice. Then 10% are ass holes and get a kick out of making life hell for others. Tell her not to focus on the 10% who are ass holes. Focus on the 90% who are a pleasure to deal with.
Some you can please, some you can't, so what....next!
Originally Posted by PoppyToyota
Most common sense advice. People are people and we will never change them. Waste of time to try. She will have to deal with jerks as long as she is on her own. Does not HAVE to see them, and hopefully not deal with them too often but..... they are out there. If she stays in the business she will just have to get a bit thicker skinned.
Chella, go ahead and post his info so he can get harrassed!!!
Sam, sorry to hear that you got a load of b.s. from someone. I always try to follow the advice of you get more with sugar than with vinegar. It doesn't hurt to be nice, and if someone gives you reason NOT to be nice, then you have the decision to make on how to handle it. Some people are just jerks and it usually doesn't take long for people to find out and they are avoided.
As for the guy being on different boards, I don't think that carries too much weight. All it means for P411 is that he was vouched for. It doesn't say anything about whether he is a "good guy." Similarly for the ladies, if she is on a board it doesn't mean that she is nice & sweet. It's up for all of us to determine who we want to see and who we don't.
Chella, I don't think taking a crack at the guy's references does you or the girls you are associated with (and yes I understand they are independent) any favors.
I know the crack was wrong about the references, sorry if anyone was offended but Im sure worse has been stated about or to them...my intent was to suggest that there is a difference between those he used as references and her, being that the ones he has seen before are known for living out of hotel rooms,etc. You also know me and Ive never walked lightly to spare feelings so nothing has changed. He was told by her she was in the middle of registering etc and he still acted this way.
Just to get it straight...she is independent all the way and learning how to juggle all of this so there is no longer a business association between us---we are friends and thats it. Im just speaking out on the issue and how some indies are scared off or frustrated by being treated so poorly by some guys. It will leave a bad taste in your mouth.
On the flip side I do know there are some good guys left in this world, and I just needed to let you guys know that it only takes a few bad ones to make you jaded and a total bitch in this business. I think so far there is good advice going on. Im not able to really help her out much, so she will need some guidance from a few good men.
She does need her reviews on here so to those who have seen her recently please post them. She will be signing up--I talked her into it late last night, so in the future she will be venting and you guys can fan the lil princess lol.
Chella - I'll second PoppyToyota's advice. No matter what business you're in you will eventually come across the occasional client that enjoys offending people. Fortunately for Sam, he acted up before she had the displeasure of meeting with him. Otherwise it could have been a really horrible experience for her.
If she really wants to give the other ladies a heads up, why not share the info on one of the ladies boards that are set up for that sort of thing?
heaven forbid she was enrolling in college courses and doesnt live out of a hotel room fucking 10 men a day like his references do
Originally Posted by chellablaine
my intent was to suggest that there is a difference between those he used as references and her
Originally Posted by chellablaine
Why did you feel the need to insult the people who give you references?? Sounds a little like biting the hands that feeds you. Who's going to want to give a reference to someone who basically calls them trash? I'm just saying, that's really messed up.
was wondering if i was the only one who felt that way,lol. "Difference between those he used for refs and her" i mean really? do tell us the difference, does she not open heer legs for a fee? we dont care what else she does when shes not working, this is a Hobby board , so we prefer to hear about Providers and Providing, not how "special" a provider thinks she is. We pay cash so we dont have to hear that stuff.
I agree the guy was an ass, but hey , once you choose to act this way, him being an ass is dwarfed by attacking other hardworking girls and their situations. Then instead of appologising you do it again with this... "sorry if anyone was offended but Im sure worse has been stated about or to them" I mean really?? wow, news flash , people in glass houses shouldnt throw stones. Any chance you can just be nice? Let me show you how this couldve and shouldve been said....
"She called me tonite to let me know what this douchebag said. He was irritated since she didnt return his text within 10 mins. It took her an hour because heaven forbid she was enrolling in college courses , He went as far as to tell her she is fake and doesnt "sound" asian. WTF? How is asian supposed to sound? That is like not sounding black, indian, white, etc. I found it offensive and I took up for her tonight. She nor anyone else deserves that treatment. Here is an american guy wanting to see an asian lady, but is making racist remarks! What a loser."
... see? no need to attack others to make a point and keep the subject about the situation.. You added all that stuff about her other job, and her life etc, but none of that was an issue in this instance only the enrolling in classes was, she wasnt busy with her job, so why add it in there unless you are trying to convince someone of a point of importance.
BTW i learned all that in my 11th grade english class,lol Ms Shields would be soooo proud of me!!
Obviously this guy is not a Gentleman.This is a fact of life that will separate him from those who are. I recently told someone that a lady did not sound Hispanic when in fact she was Hispanic. It was not meant to be perjorative but just a statement of fact. It certainly was not racist and was more of a compliment about how well spoken she was. She needs to "Act Like the Lady That She Expects To BE Treated Like." THEN REFUSE TO SEE HIM!
BigCats
She should set him up to meet you in a dark alley.
Originally Posted by marco2007
+1
You're a ballsey lady and I say that respectfully.
Gee muffdiver for a pimp of the the elves thats impressive and Ill be sure take your advice.(does that answer your question as to whether I can be nice?) No idea who your trying to gain brownie points with here, and dont really care.
Back on topic...my point here is that not all people hold up in hotels waiting on calls as this guy is used to. So instead of accepting that she was busy and would get back to him as soon as she could, HE attacked her verbally. I dont accept the references he provided so Im not insulting anyone who did me any favors. She is newly independent and was solo on this one. As I stated, sorry if I offended anyone, but its true, there are many differences among providers and some guys just think the ladies need to jump when they say so--and some do. Now had she said Ill call you right back, then didnt, then yes he would have been right. But then on top to accuse her of being a fake and not sounding asian, thats out of line.
and Bigcats your such a sweetie, and she did act like a lady. Im the one slamming him haha....she is too much of a soft hearted person and did handle him better than he deserved to be handled.
and trekker, lol, its the military in me coming out...haha literally!! gotta make it interesting on here, this board is a lil boring, nothing wrong with arguing or disagreeing at all...I dont take it personal.