Help save my marriage please
I have gone and screwed the pooch. I was diagnosed with Chlamydia and now have to explain it to the wife.
I generally only go for L1 with a massage which is my favorite choice for stress relief, but have ventured into L2 a few times recently bcs the wife doesn't enjoy that very often.
We have been together for about 5 years and i am 100% positive it was not from her. This even if it was a scare has made me decide that it isn't worth it any longer. I really do love my wife and don't want to hurt her, but it may be too late for that.
I fucked up and know it and am not looking for sympathy , but If anyone could provide useful advise as to the following i would really appreaciate it:
How do you go about explaining this to your wife with the best chance of saving your marriage?
Are there any plausible things that would explain it? I am going to be telling her very soon and would like all the help i can get.
I would like to explain it to her without telling her about the hobby tho as i think a drunken fuck up or something like that will be better than telling her about the hobby. any advise here.
Please help
Easy!
Easy, there fellow!
There's no need to magnify the effects of a set-back.
. , . Get it done, but there's no need to tell her.
I know it can be carried for a long time without any symptoms, but not sure if this is too far fetched. I think she gets tested yearly at he annual physical with the gyno. What are the odds of being a carrier and not knowing it but her not have contracted it sooner?
Oh woww...tough situation. I am so sorry that happened to you. Coming clean won't save your marriage. It will ruin it. The only thing I can think of is to avoid her until the Chlamydia is gone? Get meds quick and maybe tell her you're not feeling well and not in the mood for anything?
I have no idea. I hope I will never be in this kind of situation when I am married someday. :-(
Oh yeah sorry i forgot to mention in the original post. She has had lower abdominal pain a few times recently which she has never had before and i am worried that could be a symptom for her. I don't want it to cause any damage to her and want her to be cure if she has it, and if she does then ill just get it back once the meds are done, so i don't think there is a way around telling her short of getting an extra script and dosing her which i am not going to do.
Then you have no other way around it. Tell her the truth if you love her and care for her. This incident is a sign for you to maybe quit the hobby.
I have decided i am done with the hobby. I would like to explain it to her without telling her about the hobby tho as i think a drunken fuck up or something like that will be better than telling her about the hobby.
Dude, along with you deciding your done and figuring out how to tell the wife, you may want let "ANY" recent sexual partners know about the STD. IMO
Talk to her doctor, be up-front. He/she may tell her she has UTI but both of you have to start treatment right away, many physicians err by presuming that symptoms of an STI are caused by a urinary tract infection (UTI). The prognosis is excellent if treatment is initiated early and the entire course of antibiotics is completed. Good luck
Do a complete wipe of everything before you tell her. She will deal with one drunken affair much better than the hobby, make it as easy on her as you can. I am no expert but I think men can have it for years and not know.
The best lies contain large elements of the truth. The last thing you want to do is construct an elaborate lie that can be dismantled a piece at a time. The drunken fuck up will work nicely, especially if there have been a few drunken incidents in your past and you can point to one of them that she knows about and 'come clean' about a part of it that you hadn't told her before. Just think it through very carefully; people have a habit of doing surprising things. Make sure that the partner you invent is truly an invention, someone you had just met and whose first name is all you know; your wife might otherwise insist on finding the phantom to tell her about the disease she's spreading.
It could have been 1 of 3 people that i got it from, assuming it wasn't the wife. I have contacted them so they can get tested.
I'm a medical professional. first take a deep breath.
1- males can carry ChlM and never know it. this is your ace in the hole. Alot of men carry it for a while and never even have symptoms. Depending on how long you have been married or depending on if you "may have gotten run down and lethargic" maybe this enabled the bug to show itself.
2- if she presents herself for a UTI..being married, the dr may just prescribe a broad spectrum script.
3- she may get tested and get a positive result. worry about that later. scrub your history, phone and CPU!
4- just being honest here, whose to say that she didn't catch it from someone else and passed it to you?
I've worked on literally hundreds of STD's in my time and they all have a story.
Please do some research...studies have found a link between chlamydia and cervical cancer.
Hobby Safe everyone...
Serious question for guys and girls: Really? Do you think the wife will deal with "drunken incident" than "one-time appointment out of curiosity" better? I'm still trying to put myself in the wife's shoes but I couldn't see myself more upset hearing that my husband saw a girl in the hobby. Maybe cause I am in the hobby so I am biased?? I would be upset either ways but I think I would be MORE upset if my husband got drunk and had a one-night stand with some random woman.