BREAKING NEWS: Musk buys Twitter

Today, the CEO of Twitter will host a massive meeting of employees and staffers at the Twitter headquarters in San Fransisco. Birthing persons have reportedly brought in their viable children for the occasion. A party-like atmosphere has ensued. Large Tupperware trash cans full of grape Kool-Aid are reportedly on the scene for all the guests. There will be a ceremonial drinking of the Kool-Aid at 4 PM PST. The top officers and CEO will be meeting on the roof of the building. It is said that the CEO wants to watch the sun as the deal is concluded.

Other reports have some of the more active employees removing the letter "U" from all keyboards reminiscent of the 2001 resistance at the White House from the outgoing Clinton administration.

An anonymous source has claimed that this day is going to be bigger than Jonestown. After all Jim Jones started his church in San Fransisco. We are currently trying to identify this Reverend Jones for comment but have been unsuccessful thus far.

I might actually start using Twitter for something other then logging onto Onlyfans.

The governor announced today that the long running drought has officially ended. However, he cautions that all water desalination plants have been activated and are currently running at 150% of capacity in an emergency attempt to desalinate the raising flood of salty tears running in the streets from Twitter headquarters. It is unknown at this time how long the biblical level flow will continue, but in a little under 4 hours time enough salty tears have enabled the governor to declare the emergency drought measures are to be ended immediately.

... "salty tears"?? ... Ye Christ, mate!

... But IF they are "Salty tears" - they're tears of JOY!

### Salty

We interviewed one employee moments before his body struck the pavement in the street in front of Twitter, "this will show em".

Musk likes to tweet.....so he bought Twitter.


Who is going to step up and buy Eccie ?

You like to pay for sex...so you bought ECCIE?

I was so pleased with the product...that I bought the company.

That what you're talking about?

You like to pay for sex...so you bought ECCIE?

I was so pleased with the product...that I bought the company.

That what you're talking about? Originally Posted by the_real_Barleycorn

He put his Bayliner up for collateral.

You like to pay for sex...so you bought ECCIE?

I was so pleased with the product...that I bought the company.

That what you're talking about? Originally Posted by the_real_Barleycorn

You are strange.

Twitter’s HQ looks like Hillary’s 2016 victory party!!!!

He put his Bayliner up for collateral. Originally Posted by bambino

A Bayliner still floating around in your head 24/7. It's like a cancer.

A Bayliner still floating around in your head 24/7. It's like a cancer. Originally Posted by VitaMan

You’re strange

Trump insists he has no plans to rejoin Twitter even if Elon Musk reinstates his account

https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-elo...201822842.html


interesting. we shall see.

You’re strange Originally Posted by bambino

Put a bag over your head when you post.

Trump insists he has no plans to rejoin Twitter even if Elon Musk reinstates his account

https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-elo...201822842.html


interesting. we shall see. Originally Posted by The_Waco_Kid

Yes, interesting for sure. If he rejoins TS will collapse (even more), if he doesn't he loses a platform to fund raise. I think it'd be interesting to see how many followers went back with his restored account.