Ok, instead of trying to pull(huh-huh-huh<said in Butthead's voice>)a new one, I'm going to post the April Fool's gag review I posted last year and some ladies pointed out they couldn't see it. So here it is in it's entirety, unedited, not safe for network tv, My Review of... Myself.
"Date: 4-1-16
Provider: Road Lizard
Phone:Yes
Email Address: peterpuller@gmail.com
City:Mdn
State:Ms
Address: My Home
Appointment Type: Incall
Did the Appointment take place at the agreed-upon time? Any time is the right time
Activities: Burping, HJ, Burped again
Length: That's personal
Fee: Free!
Hair Length and Color: Short & curly
Age: Same as me
Smoking Status: I didn't rub that fast
Ethnic Background: Pink
Physical Description: Mushroom head, varying length, 2 balls, no strikes
The Rest of the Story: It was early in the morning while watching women's volleyball when I decided to make an appointment. No phone call was needed, all I had to do is look down and say "You ready?"
Screening was light even though the 'cop check' went on for several minutes. I like the cop check.
I had been with this provider before, in fact, many times. In fact, this particular provider was my first ever. That's the thing about seeing a provider regularly, you know each other so well that the whole session fits like a glove. Literally.
And in a way only an experienced provider could do, all the right buttons were pushed and the ending was happy. The provider was covered in happy sauce but didn't complain...it's happened before. We cleaned up, checked the rug for spillage...keyboard too, all good and one last cop check and we said our goodbyes.
I won't recommend to other guys as this provider is exclusive to me only. I do know for a fact the provider loves to provide for women though. And the more this provider sees women, the less I see this particular(testicular) provider. I can live with that arrangement.
Recommendation: Yes to women, HELL NO to men,
April Fool's to all!"
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