SB/SD and the Language of Slavery

Continuing with the recent rise in discussions and popularity of the sugar baby/sugar daddy trend let's stir the pot a little...

Anyone else notice the rise of 'slavery language' in these threads? Gentlemen (and in this case I use the term loosely) saying things like "...if you behave..." and "...I will allow..."

Funny, isn't it, how larger sums of money seem to delude these guys into thinking they are 'owners'? Individual freedoms and behaviors have no price, though. Even in these arrangements.

Your arrangement must have some elements of respect and I'll suggest it needs to begin with the gentleman.

"Sugar daddy" and "sugar baby" seem aptly well named to me if that were the case...

That being said, no I haven't noticed it.

No offense, but you're a little naive if you think saying "I will allow" and "if you behave" is equated with being a slave master. The majority of everyone has either said shit like this to their employees or heard shit like this from their boss, parents, SO, or the IRS. That doesn't make us all slaves and slave masters.

Continuing with the recent rise in discussions and popularity of the sugar baby/sugar daddy trend let's stir the pot a little...

Anyone else notice the rise of 'slavery language' in these threads? Gentlemen (and in this case I use the term loosely) saying things like "...if you behave..." and "...I will allow..."

Funny, isn't it, how larger sums of money seem to delude these guys into thinking they are 'owners'? Individual freedoms and behaviors have no price, though. Even in these arrangements.

Your arrangement must have some elements of respect and I'll suggest it needs to begin with the gentleman. Originally Posted by JustCause

I am grateful there are gents who have their eyes open and can see a little deeper than some.

"Sugar daddy" and "sugar baby" seem aptly well named to me if that were the case...

That being said, no I haven't noticed it.

No offense, but you're a little naive if you think saying "I will allow" and "if you behave" is equated with being a slave master. The majority of everyone has either said shit like this to their employees or heard shit like this from their boss, parents, SO, or the IRS. That doesn't make us all slaves and slave masters. Originally Posted by sketchball82

Doesn't it? Wake up and consider what ya say. And you're exactly right, it is "sh*t".

Any fantasy...regardless of what it is, runs the risk of "crossing the line" whatever that might be. "Ownership" fantasies are fun, but there needs to be that "snap" back to reality and mutual respect when the appointment is up.

Hi Max!

Show me thread examples of your rant?

Any fantasy...regardless of what it is, runs the risk of "crossing the line" whatever that might be. "Ownership" fantasies are fun, but there needs to be that "snap" back to reality and mutual respect when the appointment is up.

Hi Max! Originally Posted by Zhivago52

Hey there! How ya doin', hon?

Fantasy is one thing, you're right! Relationships where one controls with money and the other must comply, whole other ball game. I know lotsa SB's hate their SD's for trying to control their every move and thought, cause they control the purse strings. It's not generosity, mentoring, or any other such nonsense, it's controlling. Not saying all SD's behave in such manner, but I've yet to encounter a totally happy SB. I certainly wouldn't recommend it to a lady. Maybe a shared SD/SB experience where the SB can control her own life, and have some freedoms most exclusive SD/SB relations don't allow for.

Most folks hate their jobs, and if ya think about it, the job place controls our actions not only at work, but away from work these days. So, I understand why most folks would feel like a slave to their job and hate it. Ijs

Continuing with the recent rise in discussions and popularity of the sugar baby/sugar daddy trend let's stir the pot a little...

Anyone else notice the rise of 'slavery language' in these threads? Gentlemen (and in this case I use the term loosely) saying things like "...if you behave..." and "...I will allow..."

Funny, isn't it, how larger sums of money seem to delude these guys into thinking they are 'owners'? Individual freedoms and behaviors have no price, though. Even in these arrangements.

Your arrangement must have some elements of respect and I'll suggest it needs to begin with the gentleman. Originally Posted by JustCause

That's a great post.

We (guys) really can kind of be asses sometime.

Your quotes may not be accurate but I'd say you're on to something. Continue please.

IJS, I was an extremely happy sugar baby. But then again, he always gave me weeks notice on when he would be in town, I knew he had his "real life" outside of me, and we decided through silence not to broach the subject of what we do outside of the time we spent together. (Sorry, I'd get lonely when he stayed away) In my naivety, I just thought my older "boyfriend" just liked to take care of me and having your boyfriend's credit cards to use however you want was was normal. I didn't realize I was a SB until I joined this site.

In traditional SD/SB relations there is always going to be a nurturing tone. There is a great difference between nurturing and controlling and when it starts to veer into the control side of things in ANY RELATIONSHIP is when it all goes to the dogs.

Language like "allow" and "behave" does show a certain lack of respect. If you constantly have to make rules and you think she "acts out" then maybe you just failed at choosing the right girl.......

IJS, I was an extremely happy sugar baby. But then again, he always gave me weeks notice on when he would be in town, I knew he had his "real life" outside of me, and we decided through silence not to broach the subject of what we do outside of the time we spent together. (Sorry, I'd get lonely when he stayed away) In my naivety, I just thought my older "boyfriend" just liked to take care of me and having your boyfriend's credit cards to use however you want was was normal. I didn't realize I was a SB until I joined this site.

In traditional SD/SB relations there is always going to be a nurturing tone. There is a great difference between nurturing and controlling and when it starts to veer into the control side of things in ANY RELATIONSHIP is when it all goes to the dogs.

Language like "allow" and "behave" does show a certain lack of respect. If you constantly have to make rules and you think she "acts out" then maybe you just failed at choosing the right girl....... Originally Posted by SAangel27

Thank you for sharing this. It's the first truly good experience of this nature from any lady I've discussed such with. I had always imagined this as how it was meant, but it hasn't been the case for most I've known.

I haven't read the SB/SD threads: Withnthat said, I'm not sure how someone on the SB side of the arrangement gives up any freedom to terminate the relationship. If she doesn't like the SD, she can drop him and get another. Same for him.

Not sure I understand the controversy—that may be my failing, not the OP.

I haven't read the SB/SD threads: Withnthat said, I'm not sure how someone on the SB side of the arrangement gives up any freedom to terminate the relationship. If she doesn't like the SD, she can drop him and get another. Same for him.

Not sure I understand the controversy—that may be my failing, not the OP. Originally Posted by ICU 812

Do you give up a job without having another? If so, were you able to save in order to do so? Do ya think a controlling SD will ensure his SB feels free to leave? Sure he will, and probably tells her that all the time. But, he'll also ensure she has no means to do so.

There is no controversy. OP has read 50 Shades of Grey one too many times. Never once have I witnessed an ownership complex within the SB/SD world. Now some gentleman do insist on exclusivity but that is part of the arrangement agreed to. One basic rule of an SD/SB relationship is that either party can call it quits at any time-- no questions asked.

There is no controversy. OP has read 50 Shades of Grey one too many times. Never once have I witnessed an ownership complex within the SB/SD world. Now some gentleman do insist on exclusivity but that is part of the arrangement agreed to. One basic rule of an SD/SB relationship is that either party can call it quits at any time-- no questions asked. Originally Posted by Cpalmson

As it should be, but things are not always as they appear or even as they should be. I've actually helped others out of situations of this nature, because they found themselves stuck. I certainly wish I lived in a world where that wasn't the case, hon. And I hate to be the one to enlighten on how this matter could end up. As stated previously, I don't believe every gent is controlling. This has just been what I've witnessed about these relations. Was thrilled to hear another describe how great her situation was! I'd love to hear lots more positive stories!