When other sex workers look down on 'whores'

I just love the hypocrisy and the concept I call 'othering'...the idea that everyone needs to feel better than someone else. Even among serial killers. Remember that dummy Joel Rifkin from NY who said " Well I mean, I killed them girls but I didn't want to go so far as to eat them like....like some others did." Oh brother.

So today on another adult forum there was this very condescending porn star who went off on escorts saying we were degraded and dirty for having sex for money. I said, " The only difference here is YOU do it unsafely, and in front of a camera, and how does that make you any different or better than those of us who choose to have sex for money discreetly and in a more sensual and engaging environment?" And then a bunch of strippers jumped on me and said " I would NEVER fuck men for money, I dance!" No, really. You give men hard ons for twenty bucks and get tips thrown at you for degrading yourself on a stage for a few dollars. And trust me, men do not pay VIP room fees of a thousand and up just so they can see your ass dancing.


I think it's just pathetically sad that other sex workers have to relegate even the classiest and most honest of sex workers, the escorts, US, to the bottom of the totem pole of the sex industry. Same thing I guess, the whole need to feel better than someone else. And even amongst us, there's always that " Well I would never take it up the ass but so and so will." I just wish, and wishful thinking this is, we can all learn to get together in a marginalized profession in which safety is paramount and so is sisterhood.

Very interesting Topic.... +1

I agree that putting down other sex workers is terrible, and I find your classy approach to be refreshing.

Thanks for the post!

Quite frankly, in my opinion, the escorts I know and are friends with have more class, ethics, and morals than my civilian friends who are truly "whores" lol. As far as strippers, its gotta feel like shit and degrading to have dollar bills being thrown at you by less than classy men, any type of trash they let in those places(some are just nasty) and porn stars will do anything with anyone they tell her too for a buck in front of a camera--no discretion at all, and bareback--wtf that is nasty.

Where is this discussion? Id like to get in on it. In that bitchy mood

I don't see how she can look down on anyone. Is she having sex for free on camera? Was she trying to say that 'it' should be free? Lol What makes her so high and mighty? I guess I just don't understand where she was coming from. I have gained somewhat of a new perspective on things and I have a new high level of respect for some of you women.

The depravity of these want to be movie stars! I find each and every one of them "GUILTY". SL'S sentence.... death by "Slamdango"!

IF that were the sentence then they would welcome death with open arms.

Alluringava,

I can tell you from my own first hand experience (former stripper here), that many women who are topless dancers are in some sort of denial about the type of business they are in. I started when I was 17 dancing here in Houston Texas. I probably fucked more guys from the age of 17 up until my marriage at the age of 24. None of those men did I ever use protected sex. I was a young naive and very lucky lady that I did not get any STD's. I don't know how I didn't but I guess I was just damn lucky. This was in the early 80s.

I knew a dancer that most other dancers wouldn't associate with and she would turn tricks with guys after hours. I remember hearing all the talk about her, and other dancers would really look down on girls that did extras in the VIP rooms. I truly think this is just a form of denial by strippers and also porn stars because they have bought into the whole media portrayal and stereotypical view of escorts, call girls and street walkers. Funny thing is I have run across several of the dancers I knew from back then and some of them are now escorts and some have even registered on this site. You even see former Porn stars and some current Porn stars set up escort sites and see men in the escort world.

Again I think it is just a form of denial. Personally I was really naive back then as a dancer and never realized how much money could be made in the escort/call girl industry. I think if anyone had approached me and educated me a little back then I might have gone the escort route...lol
Dancing for 10 straight hours in a smoke filled room and walking away with only 200-600 dollars depending on the night was hard hard work. My body was always sore and the high heels killed my back, neck and hips (I am paying for that today). Some of the dancers could easily command 300 an hour for escorting services in a one hour time slot. So in two hours they could have 600 dollars and the rest of their day to do whatever they want.

I am sorry you got "jumped" on in another forum. Truth is somewhere down the line these gals will escort, they will, they don't know it yet but they will eventually. A lot of them do at some point.

By the way you see this sort of thing among escorts/call girls too. Do you ever see have some ladies really look down on a street walkers? It is the same thing with the whole "I am better than that, I am not like you" mentality.

One of the points is that as long as the profession is in the dark this sort of predjudice will thrive. Fighting that predjudice is one of the obectives of American Courtesans www.americancourtesans.com. Kristen Diangelo and several other escorts are opening up about their lives past and present. They aren't in iit for pity but are proud. Kristen has written that she hope the film will help sex workers fight discrimination and be recognized as productive members of society.
She hopes to show the film at Sundance and I can't wait to see it.

I try not to judge anyone and hope to get the same consideration. No one should be stereo typed by their occupation because there are good and bad in every line of work. One is not better than another based on what they do for a living. Its your character, the kind of person you are and how you treat others, that makes you better than another.

It seems it's human nature - degrading others who are like us, but different. We all do it as a matter of reassuring ourselves about who and what we are - or aren't. Those of us with some sense of decency at least feel bad about it after we degrade someone else. We don't usually go beyond that - like saying "Geez, I'm sorry. That was mean." A requisite part of being classy is being nice...even when you don't need to be, or want to be.

Hell, I know escorts who look down on "street walkers" or those who do 1/2 hours or those who charge less or ______ insert reason.

To be very honest, I use to until someone made me aware of it. I was looked down on something that I do and was hurt and talked to my friend and he pointed it out.

We all are just trying to live our lives and who am I to judge? It was really humbling for me. I never walked in their shoes.

Now, I am super aware of this and glad I learned this lesson.

I have an associate ive known years, and we started out dancing....and she'd CONSTANTLY , CONSTANTLY, REPEATEDLY, repeat "you know Eva, I dont fuuuuuuuck" in her thick Houston accent. And I responded "yea you do, you do it for stds and a security blanket knowing you will come home to a man." How can you look down on something you do as well? The pot calling the kettle black...

We all have no room to judge.

They're jealous.

Stripclubs are bust, cammsites are overrun, the Sugardaddy/baby game has gone to the dogs, and pay-per-view-porn is clinging to its last few bucks. And yet, providers are still considered "the bottom rung".

Providing, whether it be fetish/escort/or massage, has always been the most lucrative and most discreet option. And in this economy the only ladies still making big bucks are the ones doing it the tried and true way...What can you expect? How could the pornstars not be jealous? They're lucky if they can pull in anything close to what we do, and yet unlike them we have the freedom to leave this work quietly with no trace whatsoever if we choose to.

Its honestly a shame though. I have friends in these industries that are drop dead stunning , but don't want to do any work that actually involves touching a man (unless he's a hot pornstar), but they would do great. They just don't want to do what they already essentially do any closer to the customer than they absolutely must.

I can't blame them for that, but the hate on women who are essentially colleagues is stupid and defeatist.

Yes, to these girls I'm the butt of a lot of "dirty job" jokes, but the jeans that cover this butt have some deep, deep, pockets so who gives a shittake?

I woulden't even worry about some little forum fight....what's to be gained? Stress? Wrinkles?

Nah...Ava, your too good to even listen to that hypocritical B.S.

On a broader note, this is just a small part of the big issue with women hating on one another in this industry. We've all been pitted against eachother with an illusion of these slightly varying levels of decency and act like one is tremendously better than another. Really? Lets remember that the lives we live as sex workers are part of a very strange and augmented reality. To 90% of the world, we're all "whores" from strippers to callgirls.

We won't get anywhere beating each other up, so we could at least stick together.

I mean, this type of BS is the whole reason men make a huge chunk of the money in this industry, from stripclub owners, to porn producers, to owners of sites like this. Men should not make two fucking cents in this business unless they want to suck a dick themselves, but guess what! They do, because the women who put up 100% of the product and take up 100% of the liability get caught up over petty shit like this.

If we lived in a world where instead of thinking "ohshit, I need to make rent, and no porn contracts are coming up - should I lower my rates to appease a website of horny men, or head down to the clubs and see if a man can decide if I'm goodlooking enough to strip for money?" Women thought "rent's coming up...porn's been slow this week so let me call up my friend Ava and ask her for tips on how to diversify my income...' In a world where we watched out for eachother and we were the ones in control of our adult work destinies, we would all see much brighter days ahead and all feel a little bit better about our awesomely sexy selves.

We need to take off the gloves and start picking each other up because this fight has been going on for a long, long time and there will never be a winner.

DDV: That's hot! But then I'm both older and a nerd so no accounting for my odd tastes.