beard love... share yours!

DallasRain's Avatar
RetiredSubmariner's Avatar
Hmm, I do not see a button to upload an image.

DallasRain's Avatar
well if thats you in the avatar...yummm hell yeaahhhh
RetiredSubmariner's Avatar
It seemed like the closest I could come to uploading an image of myself.

I had a fairly impressive beard, but then I was asked to participate in an award ceremony for my son graduating from an Army school. I went to it wearing my dress uniform but I have to trim my beard down to fit US Navy regs [1/2 inch] again. In doing that I had to remove 18inches of beard. This is what has grown back a year later.

At least I got to pin a medal on my son.
rCoder's Avatar
What is it about a foot long beard that women just have to braid it? Seriously, I really enjoy the look on their face when they’ve completed and admired the braid... and I then say “my turn”...

There was a study done that found the average beard is high in fecal matter... Guess that means gals need to learn to wipe better...
RetiredSubmariner's Avatar
... There was a study done that found the average beard is high in fecal matter... Guess that means gals need to learn to wipe better... Originally Posted by rCoder
I had not heard of that study.

A number of times female strangers in public have approached me wanting to touch my beard. Maybe I should ask if they have washed their hands?
rCoder's Avatar
I had not heard of that study. Originally Posted by RetiredSubmariner
Ok full disclosure. Several years ago I read a rant about how bad beards are for the individual, industry, society, and the universe. The rant said there was the aforementioned study. A casual search did not find the study. But I started to wonder how a beard would become more contaminated than a naked chin?
RetiredSubmariner's Avatar
I guess it might depend on where you put your beard.
DallasRain's Avatar
Lol
Attached Images File Type: jpg FB_IMG_1531062737096.jpg (45.1 KB, 326 views)
annie@christophers's Avatar
Lol..
DallasRain's Avatar
Hi Annie!!!!!
Anon91's Avatar
And here i was discussing with my barber yesterday if it was time to shave mine bare. Glad he slapped that stupid thought outta my head.
DallasRain's Avatar
Anon91's Avatar
Men have many thoughts while going down on you. Bearded men have deeper, more complex thoughts. These are they

1. “I wonder if it tickles?” Are you moaning? Are you suppressing a giggle? Maybe it’s a little of both.

2. “Man, I should not have just eaten. She’s going to be really confused if she finds crumbs in her vagina afterward.” First rule of bearded oral sex: Never seduce a man who has just finished a sandwich.

3. “There’s a hair in my mouth, and I have no idea who it belongs to.” It could be ours or it could be yours. It’s tough to tell. Either way, now we are struggling to find a way to sexily fish it out, which is damn near impossible.

4. “Do I use soap or shampoo to wash my beard after this?” To be fair, getting your scent in our beard can be pretty sexy, but if we’re going out after, we definitely need to freshen up a little first, and we are woefully underprepared, product-wise.

5. “I really hope I am not giving her rug burn on her inner thighs.” Hopefully you are enjoying yourself too much to care, but there is the potential that all this gyrating is going to leave you chafed, and boy, howdy, we do not want to explain that to your parents when we all go to the beach tomorrow.

6. “I should probably shave.” When half our moustache is up our nose, the other half is in our mouth, and it’s soaking up fluids like a Shamwow … it makes a man wonder if maybe we at least need a trim.

7. “I’m pretty sure the end of my beard is in her butt hole.” This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but it is worth noting.

8. “My jaw is cramping up … I wonder if I can take a break and just rub her clitoris with my hair.” You’ll likely catch on pretty quick, but it’s nice to know that our beard is helping us out a little and tag-teaming your orgasm with us.

9. “This feels like I just put way too much beard cream in.” Our beard hair is slick and crunchy in some places and damp in others.

10. “She’s either going to really love or really hate kissing me right now.” There are two kinds of people: those who don’t mind kissing after oral, and those who think its gross. A beard is just going to compound those feelings.
RetiredSubmariner's Avatar
Lol Originally Posted by DallasRain
No, seriously a beard needs oil.

Otherwise, you hit 'terminal length'. I fought that for years. It would only grow so long. I lost all 'additional' length to split ends. At that time, I was a foster parent and we had a group of foster children. My foster-daughter had super-fine hair and it was easily damaged. The research I did seemed to emphasize the importance of 'hot oil treatments'.

As it turns out 'hot oil treatments' are simple veggie oil. Every company that markets a 'hot oil treatment' uses a different veggie oil. Get a bottle of corn oil and you are good.

I put 20 drops of 'Old Spice' cologne in it and it seems to work great.

My point is, regardless of what hair oil you use, a beard needs an oil.