You are spot on, Proud of Texas!
And who a woman is partnered with (or worse *gasp* they're not partnered at all!) has a very significant bearing on how they're perceived by other women.
And it's not just with women, it's men too. I've noticed it in my civilian business that as a single woman with no significant other I have to really prove myself to my clients and when networking with my peers. It's like I'm standing on one leg until I show them otherwise. But I digress...
What I'm learning from having younger siblings is that it's beginning to be more socially acceptable to let a woman take care of the financials. It has a lot to do with the ratio of available good men to women. Women are feeling that they have to lower their standards to get a man.
My mother, afraid that my standards are too high, has told me to 'make myself a man'. You feed him, dress him, take him to church, and teach him how to act in public. That's understandable in a time when, like you said, a man's sole identity was in his work or skills. If nothing else, he had the skills to pay the bills, or could at least prove himself useful. But in a time when men are not learning to work with their hands anymore (except to maneuver an Xbox controller), and they're not mowing their own yards, checking the fluids in your car before you get in it, or even taking out the trash, if I'm the sole breadwinner, it's like a slap in the face. No, you are not getting any tonight. Biatch. LOL
I kid, I kid.
Being a country girl, I have a thing for skilled blue collar men, as were most of the men I grew up admiring. But I love my white collar gents as well. But I wouldn't be myself if I couldn't find the exception to my own rules. I live in a condo, so there are no outside chores for a man to do. My car is so computerized that we would be damn fools to try to tinker with it before taking it to the dealership. Just being thoughtful is a great way to a woman's heart (and taint) no matter what you do.