weirdest calls

what are some weird calls you have received? what sort of "out there" clients or requests have tickled your funny bone? right now I have a guy who says he is 2.5 feet tall and wants to get tangled up and lost in my pubes. of course he cannot pass screening so far and I am sure he is some far away wanker, but it got me thinking about all the freaky requests I get. what are some of yours? would u see a 30 inch tall little person if he could pass screening? I don't want to be rude or exclusionary to real folks with real problems but this one is not a real guy I am sure.

... I have a guy who says he is 2.5 feet tall and wants to get tangled up and lost in my pubes ... Originally Posted by sue_nami

I'm curious where he gathered the intel that suggested you possess that kind of, um, foliage?

I was faced and made a crank call , ask this old lady if she's tired of the drip drip drip of gonorrhea ? She responds I haven't had that in years !

johnny, all my ads say up front I am natural and have a bush. It is a selling point in these days of ubiquitous bald pussy. You call it foliage, which is disparaging, but others worship my bush and find it divine and beautiful. each to their own.

Thanks sue now every 2 and a half foot tall guy I see round town .I'll be wondering if he is thepoor guy who couldn't pass screening. Poor guy that he would be.

Thanks sue

Johnny

... You call it foliage, which is disparaging, but others worship my bush and find it divine and beautiful ... Originally Posted by sue_nami

Apologies, my dear, I meant no such thing. I was making light of the fact that this gent expressed a desire to get "tangled up and lost" in your pubes, and imagining his request as a literal one - i.e., with you in possession of a bush of sufficient length to pull this off. Hence, the use of the word "foliage."

Apparently I was the only one amused by this visual. Again, my apologies.

The basic text msg from pimps

Would you love the be pamper and spoiled by ...... I can help you travel to Las vegas Miami , LA etc... Just come work for me and I can show you how to make real money..

I just laugh these off I have traveled on my own to Vegas,New york,New Orleans,LA,Florida. just being a Independent provider why the heck would I need a pimp to beat me and take half my money smh

All time disturbing- Had a guy who requested we do a session in the kitchen. Me- Okay why not? Him- gets on kitchen counter and asks for a massage. Me- Thinking to myself...Hmmm, weird, but whatever. I am amused. Me- rubbing the oil. Him- Have you ever the story of Hansel and Gretal? Starts rambling about Hansel and Gretal, being eaten and other disturbing things. Will you to pretend to kill and eat me? Me- Fucking tripping out, gets knife out of drawer, because I really am scared. Him- gets himself off by sight of knife. Me- If there is God please let this dude leave. Please let him leave. Me- in total shock and quiet until he leaves. Me- runs to bathroom and throws up.Me- Cries and calls SO very very disturbed. SCARRED FOR LIFE!!! LOL

Concrete man- I want to have a hole dug and have concrete poured on me. I will having a tube in my mouth to breathe. Me- how would I get you out? Concrete guy- jackhammer. Me- the dungeon I session out of is not equip for that. Hangs up Scratches head. Google's this very odd request.

Apparently there are some dungeons that really do stuff like this with some type of plaster or something. After more thought...wouldn't the concrete kill him?

I have many more stories, but you will have the read the book someday! Don't worry they will only be about D/s and fetish!

Lady calls and wants to come to my house and cook me dinner. Imagine that? Cook me dinner???

Then wants to fuck me. I'm telling you. Bat shit crazy they are sometimes.

O M G on the Hansel and Gretal story... pretty horrifying even to just read, lol

Concrete man- I want to have a hole dug and have concrete poured on me. I will having a tube in my mouth to breathe. Me- how would I get you out? Concrete guy- jackhammer. Me- the dungeon I session out of is not equip for that. Hangs up Scratches head. Google's this very odd request.

Apparently there are some dungeons that really do stuff like this with some type of plaster or something. After more thought...wouldn't the concrete kill him?

I have many more stories, but you will have the read the book someday! Don't worry they will only be about D/s and fetish! Originally Posted by Scarlett Rossi

I suppose that for such a session as this, the donation for time should be set in stone.

Missi - Bwahaha!! !

Yeah, I will NEVER forget that session. It was not something I agreed to in advance.That is for sure. That part of the session was a little detail that must have conveniently slipped his mind! I am very open minded, but I draw the line there! Geez. I guess it's a harmless phelia, but I have no interest in it. I can laugh about it now, but at the time I did NOT think it was funny!!

I had one guy ask if I would walk on his frank and beans with stilettos ..OUCH..
I was like dude you know I am not a tiny little spinner type..they might pop...

and once I was asked if he could cover me head to toe in craw fish so he could eat them off me...

When I was 20 I worked as a phone sex operator which is kinda funny seeming how shy and non verbal I am..well my first and only call was a guy who wanted me to pretend to be his sister and to walk him around the mall with him on all for dressed in leather on a dog leash while we went store to store and force him to try on all the pretty clothes all while yelling sexual innuendos at him...things he wanted me to say that to this day I just cant repeat lol

...and once I was asked if he could cover me head to toe in craw fish so he could eat them off me ... Originally Posted by VictoriaLyn

Lent is long gone, so forget the seafood. Would you do that with chocolate? Please don't shoot me down!