On Cancellations

There is some discussion going on in another thread about cancellations and I didn't want to hijack it but this topic has been on my mind from time to time. First off, no one has cancelled on me recently so this isn't venting about anything that's current. I just thought it might be useful for both providers and clients to help the other group understand how cancellations personally affect them.

Cancellations happen, for reasons good, bad, and unknown (the dreaded NCNS). Typically the closer to the agreed-upon appointment time, the more frustrating it is to be cancelled on.

I'll tell you my perspective. I don't usually have the luxury of being spontaneous - frequently I need to plan my hobby activities days if not a week or more in advance. Often times it means taking time off from work or constructing a pretext for being away from home for a specific time period. If I get a last minute cancellation, it's usually too late for me to do anything about it - not only do I lose the opportunity to see the lady I wanted to see, but most likely to see anyone at all, because I'm not one to set up a "plan B" appointment and then cancel that if "plan A" works out. That isn't fair to the provider - someone is always going to get screwed in that scenario (and not in a good way!)

From the provider perspective, if a lady sets up an appointment she's blocking her time off and not taking other appointments. Cancellations affect her in terms of the loss of potential income from other appointments that could have been booked during that time. I'm sure I haven't fully captured the provider viewpoint - it would be great to hear from some providers.

Naturally, the closer the time to the appointment the cancellation happens, the higher the frustration factor. I've had someone cancel on me as I was driving down the street to their incall - maybe 1 minute away. That truly sucked.

On the other hand, another provider cancelled because she had been having some family problems and had been up most of the night worrying about them. She cancelled because she didn't want to give me less than her best, which I thought was admirable - she passed up that income due to her unwillingness to provide an experience that was not up to her standards. I was a little disappointed, but I understood and appreciated her dedication to providing a great experience.

This thread has the potential to get a little heated, I'd say. I hope it can be taken in the spirit it's intended - just to help us understand each other better when cancellations inevitably arise.

Cancellations suck. Period.

There's no excuse in the world that will make up for the time lost. Sure, it may be understandable, but it doesn't make up for it. I hardly cancel on a date. I can be dead tired, pissed off at the world, or just not in the mood to suck dick. But if a date is scheduled then I'm there. If I ever feel like I'm not in the mood for whatever reason, then I just won't take calls. I won't book anything and hope I feel better later only to cancel it. If I have something planned and I don't feel "in the mood" then I put on my big girl panties, give him the best damn date I can, and go home without taking any more calls.

But...that's just me.

I have the same issue as spanky. If I take off work and the date doesn't happen, then I have burned vacation time (aka money). Even though I wouldn't lose the lady's donation, I still come out behind.

I expect the provider side is much worse. She loses a chance to make her rate from a different client, and if she's already set up a hotel or traveled, she will actually lose money, not just the theoretical "lost money" from potential appointments missed.

Danielle, your response is exactly how I would hope any lady would operate. Although I am the type of person who would be understanding if the girl wasn't feeling well, giving your best anyway is admirable professionally. I can imagine that's a tough position to be in if you felt like shit but had people scheduled, knowing half of them would bitch about you or write you off forever based on that one cancellation/reschedule attempt.

I have the same issue as spanky. If I take off work and the date doesn't happen, then I have burned vacation time (aka money). Even though I wouldn't lose the lady's donation, I still come out behind.

I expect the provider side is much worse. She loses a chance to make her rate from a different client, and if she's already set up a hotel or traveled, she will actually lose money, not just the theoretical "lost money" from potential appointments missed.

Danielle, your response is exactly how I would hope any lady would operate. Although I am the type of person who would be understanding if the girl wasn't feeling well, giving your best anyway is admirable professionally. I can imagine that's a tough position to be in if you felt like shit but had people scheduled, knowing half of them would bitch about you or write you off forever based on that one cancellation/reschedule attempt. Originally Posted by RJinLR

I've had days where I just wanted to stay in bed or hang out with friends or just not put a dick in my mouth, but if I had a pre-booked date that day, I'm not going to cancel just because I don't feel like it.

Unless I'm sick, or my car explodes, or I have a life or death family emergency, then I won't cancel a date. IF I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to take care of something before a date then I'll ask to push it back an hour. If he says no, then I still show up on time.

My time is money, but I can't scream RESPECT MY TIME if I'm not respecting the client's time. That goes both ways

Cancellations suck for sure, but I only do it for our benefit. If I'm sick or bleeding, why would you want to see me? I never want to dread going down on a man so I'll do everything to avoid that feeling.

I have been lucky and have never had a lady cancel on me. I have had several ladies not reply to text but everyone I've ever scheduled with has always been accommodating.

I think Arkansas is lucky to have some pretty professional ladies

Selena,Serenity,Lolahhhhh and several others

Ninja I'm flattered but you're very confused

I can only speak to my experiences. I'm not confused I'm perfectly clear on how MY HOBBY experiences happen.

Someone's feeling feisty tonight lol

I'm just disagreeing with your comment of professionalism.

Not feeling feisty, it's hard to read people's tones thru messages.

I try to avoid having to cancel, especially at the last minute… But inevitably, it will occasionally happen. In those circumstances, I do try to make up for it by offering extra time gratis on the next date. If a client cancels on me last minute, I ask for a cancellation fee, to help make up for the loss of other appointments I could've scheduled for that time. There are those who have refused, but I won't reschedule with them. And if the cancellations are habitual, I put them on my DNS list.

My first NCNS happened today, not bad after 12+ years of playing

I have had 1 NCNS in all my years. Last fall with a traveling lady here in LR. I confirmed the night before, everything was ok last text message was looking forward to meeting me type response, the evening prior to confirm the time.

I took personal leave showed up to the hotel she told me she was at. 30 mins out I texted I was on my way, no response. 15 Mins I texted I had arrived still no response. So I waited, at 15 mins after scheduled time I texted I guess she stood me up.

Later that day I got a text from her that she had to fly out that morning for a family emergency and she was on a plane and couldn't respond to my text.

Now granted a "family emergency" that required you to fly out I could understand. However, a text that morning that she needed to cancel would have saved me taking half a day of my leave. That was 5 hours of time I took off work. I got paid of course but still. It made me pissed that a simple text message while you are waiting to board "the Plane" would have been professional and saved me 5 hrs pto.

She returned to town at a later date and texted me wanting to see me...

I have had others cancel on me for various reasons, but none of that bothered me in the least because I had not taken off work, or driven to a location only to be stood up, so no biggie.

I'll start this with a confession: I have NCNSed a provider. Once.

In my defense, the reasons I NCNSed on that date were:

1) About 10 minutes before showtime, and about two miles away from the lady's incall, I was T-boned by an SUV in my car (a 1988 VW GTI VR6). If you're familiar with that make and model of car, you probably already guessed that I lost that collision, bad;

2) therefore, at showtime, I was being strapped by an EMS team onto a backboard and loaded into an ambulance;

3) upon arriving at the ER, I learned that there'd been a very bad multi-vehicle crash on the freeway about 30 minutes before, and all the victims of that accident were taken to that ER; triage being triage, I wound up spending about 9 hours strapped to that damn backboard before being seen by the emergency medicine resident on duty;

4) and this happened in the summer of either 1989 or 1990, when cellphones cost real money, so not many of us owned them, and obviously I couldn't get to the phone at the hospital to call the lady (try walking around while strapped to a backboard sometime, and see the ER staff go ballistic at you; it's fun! ).

I did call her the next morning to explain why I never showed up, and wound up having to leave a message on her answering machine (I said it was '89-90). Never heard back from her, and I really wasn't expecting to; I just figured I owed her the explanation vice completely ghosting her.

Thankfully, that's never going to happen again; at least now if I get T-boned by an SUV on my way to a visit with a lady, I'll be able to call or text her while I'm laying strapped to the backboard... Unless I'm unconscious or dead, then all bets are off, because I'm going to be dealing with more important issues...

I have the same issue as spanky. If I take off work and the date doesn't happen, then I have burned vacation time (aka money). Even though I wouldn't lose the lady's donation, I still come out behind.

I expect the provider side is much worse. She loses a chance to make her rate from a different client, and if she's already set up a hotel or traveled, she will actually lose money, not just the theoretical "lost money" from potential appointments missed. Originally Posted by RJinLR

I'm a bit more mellow about the situation where I'm cancelled on (as long as it's not a NCNS). My money is a bit tight, so I just look at it as her doing me a favor by saving me money. OTOH, I've had the extremely bad luck to be NCNSed twice by ladies that I had to travel a substantial amount of time (literally several hours, involving an overnight stay in her area) to see. That makes me furious.

Danielle, your response is exactly how I would hope any lady would operate. Although I am the type of person who would be understanding if the girl wasn't feeling well, giving your best anyway is admirable professionally. I can imagine that's a tough position to be in if you felt like shit but had people scheduled, knowing half of them would bitch about you or write you off forever based on that one cancellation/reschedule attempt. Originally Posted by RJinLR

I admire such dedication, but... I really don't want a provider gritting her teeth and doing me just because she doesn't want to disappoint me. If she wakes up sick, or even just not feeling like having my cock in her mouth, I'd rather she cancel on me a few hours early and we can agree to reschedule. Especially if she's really sick; I really don't want to risk catching a communicable disease just because a provider wants to prove her dedication to me. Plus... maybe my work ethic sucks, but sometimes when I'm sick and still have to go to work (because I have one of those jobs at an understaffed organization where I can call in dead, but I simply can't call in sick), I know my performance sucks (relative to my performance when I'm not sick); I'm doing my best, but my best isn't as good when I'm ill. I'd rather wait a week or two, and have a first class experience with a provider than have her doing her best but that best being less than what she can give when she's feeling well. YMMV, I suppose.

I try to avoid having to cancel, especially at the last minute… But inevitably, it will occasionally happen. In those circumstances, I do try to make up for it by offering extra time gratis on the next date. Originally Posted by Ginger Doll

Both of the times I was NCNSed, I texted the lady to let her know that she had committed The Hobby Sin That Can Never Be Forgiven, In This World Or The Next... In one case, she got all snotty trying to justify her behavior, and I swore a vow that if she ever showed up here I was going to let everyone here know that she couldn't be trusted to follow through on her commitments (she hasn't yet). In the other case, though, she was properly apologetic, had a reasonable excuse for not showing, she explained her not contacting me beforehand because she was new to providing and was basically afraid of what might come down, and she offered to travel to Memphis to see me for an overnight date for her rate for the original time booked (my standard two hours, IIRC). She came, we spent the night, a fine time was had by both of us, and we've spent several other nights together since (at her normal overnight rate). Again, YMMV, but for me, show me a little contrition and offer to make the situation good (frankly, another hour or two gratis would have done well; traveling to me and spending the night with me was icing on the cake), and I can even forgive an NCNS.

I have had 1 NCNS in all my years. Last fall with a traveling lady here in LR. I confirmed the night before, everything was ok last text message was looking forward to meeting me type response, the evening prior to confirm the time.

I took personal leave showed up to the hotel she told me she was at. 30 mins out I texted I was on my way, no response. 15 Mins I texted I had arrived still no response. So I waited, at 15 mins after scheduled time I texted I guess she stood me up.

Later that day I got a text from her that she had to fly out that morning for a family emergency and she was on a plane and couldn't respond to my text.

Now granted a "family emergency" that required you to fly out I could understand. However, a text that morning that she needed to cancel would have saved me taking half a day of my leave. That was 5 hours of time I took off work. I got paid of course but still. It made me pissed that a simple text message while you are waiting to board "the Plane" would have been professional and saved me 5 hrs pto.

She returned to town at a later date and texted me wanting to see me... Originally Posted by BK

I might have asked for some sort of documentation of the situation (a picture of the ticket or boarding pass for that morning's flight, with any personal info blacked out, say), and if on the return trip she offered some compensation for my time and trouble (extra time gratis, or a significant discount on her rate for the original time booked, for instance) I'd have considered seeing her. But that's me... as I said, I can be a bit more mellow about such a thing.

Cheers,

bcg

I suspect the asymmetry between provider and client in perception of the importance of the appointment could sometimes be significant. In other words, most providers probably see more clients than most clients see providers. Perhaps a provider might think "I only cancelled 1 of 5 appointments I had this week - what's the big deal?" but to a client that maybe sees one provider per month it could seem like a much bigger deal.

My one NCNS just happened recently, and you would think someone coming back into the hobby and trying to reestablish herself would try really hard to make it right but apparently not, busted phone screens do happen, I guess