AMITA?

reddit style "am I the A-hole?" post

Legit interested in ladies input on this. The context is simple, I made an inquiry for a lady's time and I got this response. For double-blind anonymity, I don't wish to expose who this is, but I will say it's not KC area. I'm posting in KC because KC is my home base Also, this lady is only visiting the city I'm in.

So I sent this message requesting an appointment:

Hi xyzxyx! I would love to see you when you come through CITY next week. Perhaps Monday at 2:30? The time I suggested is flexible. I am free Sunday evening, Monday and Tuesday before you leave town.

I hope I get a chance to see you!

Hugs,
RNG

That is it. That's all the context, that's all I sent.

Here is the reply which made me concerned I really messed up somehow, but I don't know how

"I do not meet with Hobbyists
I am a human being not a Menu or a checklist
Please move on with another provider."

I guess my question is, did I goof up? I usually don't add "small talk" to requests. I have not seen this lady before, but do have references (heck, check my review history here). I guess this one likes more chat up?

Anyway... if I need to work on my game, please let me know.

I don’t think you’re the problem!

My 2¢!

With the attitude of a lot of providers all over it's her problem if she wants to respond that way it's her choice. Personally you didn't do anything wrong
My suggestion is let it roll off and simply move in

As part of the non-broad contingent, that's no different than anything I have ever done .

If I was you, I will introduce myself first, then how could I know her? Which city am I in?
I have been asked by some providers those information. I will let her know which’s date/time I prefer.
Your message sounds like a testing, some providers do not like that at first. I think.

If I was you, I will introduce myself first, then how could I know her? Which city am I in?
I have been asked by some providers those information. I will let her know which’s date/time I prefer.
Your message sounds like a testing, some providers do not like that at first. I think. Originally Posted by Plumber4free

Good points here. I see your perspective here.

What about mentioning how he found her number or about her ad? I do agree with introducing yourself first.

What about mentioning how he found her number or about her ad? I do agree with introducing yourself first. Originally Posted by Wolfhound

Good point. For added context, I made the inquiry through the P411 system, so it was clear to her how I found her. You make a good point though for non-in-system inquiries.

If she's on P411 and you messaged her through there then you both know the score. Your message seems spot on. I'm wondering if you're dealing with a member of Generation Z. Her response smacks of the new "wokeness" that's becoming more prevalent in the hobby. If that's the case, then there's not much you can do and odds are you wouldn't dig the experience anyway. Wokeness and male / female sexuality don't seem to mesh.

Captain...what do you mean by "Generation Z and wokeness"?

Your message was perfect. I wish they were all like that. I’m thinking she had many messages coming in, and responded to the wrong message. You were an absolute gentleman though

I'm going with Audrey's take on the question.
Frankly, misunderstood communication has actually caused wars and other scorched earth responses.

Bigkansas, thanks I was wondering the same.
Niceguy, I think your msg was great. I think Audrey wins for best answer. The others also made good points but considering it was in 411, she knew who you were and it's quite simple to check your profile from there. Maybe you could reach out to her again and ask her what you did wrong and how she would have preferred for you to inquire with her?

I think it's a crap shoot. Some providers say in their ads not to contact them unless you are ready to meet right away. Some providers don't want a lot of back and forth texting. I would probably move on if I was you. I don't think you would enjoy the experience anyway since you both got off to a bad start.