Beer vs. Vagina

Beer vs. Vagina

1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.

One point to BEER

2. Warm beer tastes awful.

One point to VAGINA

3. A really cold beer is satisfying.

One point to BEER

4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.

One point to VAGINA

5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances.

I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.

6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.

One point to VAGINA

7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend.

One point to VAGINA

8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.

One point to VAGINA

9. You normally don't find old beer.

One point to BEER

10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God.

One point to VAGINA

11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun.

One point to VAGINA

12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.

One point to VAGINA

13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off.

One point to BEER

14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can.

One point to BEER

15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down.

One point to BEER

16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc... with vagina you also have a choice, white, black, asian, hispanic, and eskimo...

Call it a DRAW

17. You always know how much beer is going to cost

One point to BEER

18. Beer doesn't have a mother

One point to BEER

19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink it

One point to BEER

FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 9

That's it! The matter is settled, the unfortunate yet tasty winner is: BEER

PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them.

An extra point for BEER

Fucking hilarious , glad it came out 10 to 10 , cause truthfully I like them both together anyway ! Glad to see you posting more !

well let's see, I count:
Beer: 9, Vagina: 8 , and 2 Draws...

and Beer is also cheaper, but some days one simply wants to SPLURGE !!!

Give the draws to vagina , and extra point to beer .

ah, yes, of course, we do love both !!!

Fucking hilarious , glad it came out 10 to 10 , cause truthfully I like them both together anyway ! Glad to see you posting more ! Originally Posted by rockerrick

The initial posting was wrong about the final score - it was actually beer 9, vagina 8, draw 2 - but beer licked vagina by a hair. And with the extra point beer really stuck it to vagina 10-8.

Posting = strange, uncharted territory for me. I hope it doesn't turn out to be one of those "It seemed like a good idea at the time" things as they often don't turn out that way. In any case I've dipped my toe in these muddy waters.

Give the draws to vagina Originally Posted by rockerrick

You're being generous today, RR. Vagina does that to you, eh?

What can I say I'm a Frank Zappa fan , just thought he had it wrong with "Titties and Beer" as I always like vagina and beer better !

Fear no more beer

What can I say I'm a Frank Zappa fan , just thought he had it wrong with "Titties and Beer" as I always like vagina and beer better ! Originally Posted by rockerrick

Is that a real poncho or a sears poncho?

Poncho ???????

both beer and vagina, depend on the quality of the "head"!!!

I needed a good laugh!!

both beer and vagina, depend on the quality of the "head"!!! Originally Posted by knotty man

Having been raised on beer (and not the cheap chemical one either), instead of milk, let me just say: I "Prost!" to that !!!

Poncho ??????? Originally Posted by rockerrick

Zappa, Cozmik Debris