Here's the situation: My boyfriend is a hobbyist, though he has typically only participated in-between relationships. I consider myself a pretty open-minded woman (No! Really!) with a high libido. When he told me about his history, I admit to being more than a little intrigued and excited about the idea of one day perhaps joining in. Now that this is on the table, I have questions and I'm wondering if you might throw in.
First of all, I'm wondering how the providers out there truly feel about working with couples. I understand that a lot of women are jealous and cannot handle this sort of thing, but personally I have always thought that kind of simple thinking was ridiculous. I get it- everyone is different, but truth be told, if I had the body for it I'd have likely at least experimented with being a provider myself long ago. Under the right circumstances (open communication and everyone in agreement) I am certainly a proponent of open relationships/marriages, and I tend to think all things should at least be considered within a relationship, including hobbying, rather than dismissing them out-of-hand. At the same time, it's important to me to not feel as if I am being disrespected, used, or manipulated. I place a high priority on each partner having their needs and desires fulfilled, and I think the only way to get *there* is to be open, honest, and willing to truly consider all aspects of whatever it is that your partner needs or wants. Yes, I am a bit idealistic. No, it hasn't always worked the way I would have hoped, but c'est la vie. I keep trying.
I am bi-curious. I have kissed/touched other women, and been totally intimate with one in particular, but this was a long time ago (was in two long-term relationships afterwards). I still fantasize about other women daily, and what I would love is a positive, healthy experience that my boyfriend and I can share together (perhaps more than one, but we'll take things one at a time!). I have read a number of threads and ads on this site, and I was just wondering what your experiences (if any) have been with providers who say they are 'couple-friendly'. Is this simply a lure to attract more business, or are these ladies actually open to having a third, civilian girlfriend present for playtime?
Speaking of which, I'm assuming that the 'best' experiences for providers would be with a couple in which they are attracted to both people. It has been a very long time since I was intimate with another woman, and as the years have gone by, I am nervous and feel slightly inhibited (though absolutely enthusiastic) about certain acts, particularly since the provider will be much more attractive/younger than I am (I mean, let's get real- that's the whole point...we get to choose!). How do you handle this? As a provider, what do you do to overcome this? Any suggestions that you would recommend to prepare myself mentally? Guys, what has your experience been with this? Was there anything you did to put your partner at ease?
I am not sure how I feel about having a woman go down on me, (please don't judge- I'm new at this!) though I have certainly given it much thought, but I love the idea of other things, such as being able to touch *her*, be intimate with my partner while he is with her, and I admit that though I am nervous about not knowing what the hell I'm doing, I want to go down on another woman again. I do not (and would prefer NOT to be, actually) need to be the center of attention, but I also do not want to feel completely left out. What is acceptable in this situation?
Any thoughts you would be willing to share are welcome. Are any of you in relationships in which you and your wife/girlfriend have ever done this? Have you done it more than once? Please share your experiences and advice with me. I mean that sincerely.
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!
