The Porch

A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch" he said. "How much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband,


"Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"

"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded.

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes."

A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already??" the startled husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.

"Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

Be careful when you run into a blonde! LOL

LMBO!!

By the way - it's not a "Porch". It's a "Por-sha"!
Porsche is a two-syllable word/name.

By the way - it's not a "Porch". It's a "Por-sha"!
Porsche is a two-syllable word/name. Originally Posted by Prowordsmith

my uncle drove a Porch and I ask why they say Por-sha and he said when met Mr Porch, he pronounced his name as Porsha

and then again many years ago, I worked for Hormel but they answer the phone in Austin MN as Hor-mel

Um, it's part of the joke dude. Try just rolling with it.

bad

By the way - it's not a "Porch". It's a "Por-sha"!
Porsche is a two-syllable word/name. Originally Posted by Prowordsmith

Okay bad, but I'm tired of people mispronouncing the Porsche name. As an owner I resent it. I get the joke but it only perpetuates the mispronunciation.

"I'm tired of people mispronouncing the Porsche name."

ME TOO!

That's why I call them a "Nazi POS" ;>))))))))))))

No confusion....except when I am speaking
to a VW,Audi or Mercedes aficionado

There's a book out there called "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff". Life's too short dudes....

There's a book out there called "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff". Life's too short dudes.... Originally Posted by badhusband

+1

SNL, you have a real knack for bringing issues into clear focus. Love It.

SNL, you have a real knack for bringing issues into clear focus. Love It. Originally Posted by Bull149

thanks Bull!!

How to avoid a ticket ...
There was a middle aged guy who bought a brand new Porsche convertible. He took off down the road at 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. “This is great,” he thought. “Just what I need.”
He looked in his rearview mirror and there was a Pennsylvania state trooper behind him, red and blue lights flashing and siren blasting. “I can get away from him with no problem,” thought the man. He floored it and flew down the road at over 100mph. Then he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this kind of thing.” He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.
The trooper pulled in behind the Porsche and walked up to the man. “Sir,” he said, looking at his watch, “my shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I'll let you go.”
The man looked back at the Trooper and said, “Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back.”
The trooper said, “Have a nice day!”

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Porsche back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my penis and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story:

If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks!

Ok, that was kind of dumb. But it did go with the Porsche/penis theme. Make my dumb joke look better...post a pic for me, SNL!

Ginger, that's funny !!!

Ginger, that's funny !!! Originally Posted by tennisbum

I thought it was funny too!
And the horse & the Chickie lived happily ever after













What's the difference between porcupines and Porsche's? Porcupines have the pricks on the outside.