At what point is sexual activity considered a "kink"? An unanswerable question, possibly!

I was just sitting around and speaking to a few friends and mentioned that I don't believe "greek" is kinky or considered alternative sexuality.

My friends disagreed with me and I see their point.

So I'm going to ask here the question. At what point to you consider certain activities to become "alternative" or just over the line from vanilla sex?

I'm curious as to the answers and reasons for the responses!

Thanks,
Elisabeth

"Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken." - Woody Allen




(...at least, the interwebs attribute it to Woody Allen...and you know what they say about quotes on the internet...)

Ms E, I have found "Kink" to be a personal journey. Everyone has different levels of what they call "normal" Butt I would say most say that if its "Different" then its not normal and kinky to many....I so hate labels as the tend to box people into others ideals, instead of letting ones mind go and enjoying life. If one feels naughty and kinky with Greek then enjoy, if one needs a higher level to reach this, then more power to then. Its all about the pleasure and meeting ones needs............

^^^ Amen to that. To some, anything other than missionary, face-to-face seckz is where normal ceases and "kinky" begins. To others ...*furtive glance at the post above mine*...the line for what is "kinky" and what's just good ol' fashioned FUN is a tad bit beyond that line.

Ditto those for whom kink begins, let's just say...in the end...

If it don't feel kinky to you, then it ain't. You'll get a headache trying to find a one-size-fits-all definition of what/where normal ends and kink begins.

It's as Kinsey stated: Aberrant sexual behavior is so common as to be normal.

Enjoy yerself!

Ms. Athena is dead on (as always).

The problem in this hobby is, unfortunately, that those of us that skew towards the more alternative find it difficult to communicate with providers that may be into some, but not all facets of 'kink'.

Providers and clients both harbor preconceived notions about kink, and the only consistent thing about those notions are their levels of inconsistency in what is or isn't considered kinky. Look at the ads (posted in the appropriate boards!)--many of them may say they're "kinky", "into kink", "love kink", etc., but when you start breaking down what they mean by kink, you find that you're having the discussion Ms. Elisabeth had with her friend: what is and isn't kink. And you end up repeating this discussion with each new prospective provider.

Yes, boxes do suck, but categorizing the kink and having set definitions would make the client/provider services tap dance so much easier to muddle through for us deviants.

I consider it kinky if it is an activity that is outside of normalcy.

I consider Greek something that is taboo but it is an activity that has been around for a long time. Nobody wants to talk about it because some consider it nasty and perhaps sinful.

Kinky to me is tieing someone up and teasing them until they can't take it any more. Activities such as golden showers and cock and ball torture is defying what is natural and it would be offensive to an old biddy with too much time on her hands.

Most of the time if you watch a romantic movie there is of course the sex scene. How often do you see someone pull out some handcuffs or lead their lover into a dungeon? The kinky behavior is not considered normal and to some people it is frightening if they do not understand it.

kinky is having an open mind and and an adventourus attitude.....not just being "normal" or "vanilla",but willing to try new things beyond the "normal" or "vanilla"

As mentioned, kink is a personal journey. At one point in my very naive life, I considered a BJ and DATY to be kink and not normal. My initial reaction to giving lady oral sex was " you want me to put my mouth where you pee?" Now, DATY is almost required in any sex play that I have. I think the broad definition is quite easy. It is kinky if it is out of the ordinary or something unusual. The problem is defining the qualifiers. What is out of the ordinary? What is unusual? To each person it is different. For me, the borderline of kink starts with Greek. I think one could argue that it is kinky while others will argue it is not. To me, kinky really starts with role playing where the encounter takes on aspects of sex that is not simply fooling around-- i.e. doing the typical BF/GF; husband/wife type sex. Probably the best way for me to describe something kinky would be like this. If you have to plan what you are doing, it is probably kinky. If you plan a certain fetish, if you plan a certain role play/fantasy, if you plan on using toys in a non-spontaneous way; it is probably kink. I also think Dallas is right. An open mind to trying something different is probably the best way to describe kink. It is probably 99% mental and 1% physical.

kinky is having an open mind and and an adventourus attitude... Originally Posted by DallasRain

I agree. Ideas of "normal" vary among individuals and eras. There was a time when oral sex -- which most if not all of us now consider perfectly "vanilla" -- was regarded as kinky and perverted.

I think that for each of us, "kinky" is whatever is outside our individual "comfort zones."

I was thinking about this while filling out a p411 profile/being asked by providers. At the end of the day for that purpose, it seemed reasonable to label it as anything that is frequently listed as 'extra' on a provider profile. 'Greek' is often listed as such, so we listed it as a potential 'kink' on the profile.

Others seem to label it as kink because it's in the realm of what they feel their wife wouldn't do. Some women consider oral sex in that same area. Interestingly, with the advent of 'Shades of Gray', maybe some of this is shifting, at least with the women I speak with.

Normal is overrated. After some GS, bondage, ass worship and Greek recently with a partner at a hotel she commented "that was pretty fun for vanilla" I realized how far I might have pushed this lady. No one can define kink any more than they can define normal. You could probably peek in every bedroom on your block (I am in no way advocating this) and some going on could be described as kink. Too much time is spent trying to pigeonhole people and activities, instead of just enjoying them !

How about doing greek while receiving GS while slapping her ass while she wears a mask while she sings Mary had a little Lamb. Is that kinky or am I just the sick fuck I think I am. lol

I think the average person is a lot kinkier than they like to admit, or give themselves credit for. What are you into when no one is looking? What gets you off when it's just you and your body? Give me anyones internet porn chache and I'll show you one kinky mo fo. The difference, which scares too many into leaving those delightful adventures in the mind, is having the balls to actually experience it. Kink is just your mind pushing the limits of what your body can conceive as arousing, thankfully, my brain has high expectations of my flesh.
I don't consider greek kinky, but it's not "vanilla" in my book either. Where DP is kinda kinky to me.
Bondage, humiliation, foot play, pit play, cock abuse, pain play, golden showers.. All the stuff you don't find under "strait sex" on porn sites... All the fun stuff is considered kink.

Some movies that were was once considered X rated in the movie industry went to R rated in todays outlook on things. The same applies to sextivities that we have today, a lot of things that were considered Kinky years ago are now vanilla today. But those who differ on what is kink and what is not probably enjoy it more when they consider it to be kink. Its in the mind of the beholder when people allow themselves to push their limits, as to me that is what kink is all about. Pushing one's limits is Kink in itself.....ijs

quote--- Pushing one's limits is Kink in itself.....ijs


hell yeahhhh -- good point!