How do I give an honest reference???

I mean honestly, I really don't know how to say:

His dick has bumps on it.
He took his pants off and I gaged from the smell.
He kept buggin for BB.


Now if you know me I will say it to your face.
I just don't understand why these guys would use me as a reference.

Guys and gals, what do I say?
Do I cock block and spill the tea, or do I just say naah, I won't see him again.
You know the inevitable why is next...

Ladies have you got a not so good reference and went ahead and seen the guy anyway?

I'm not trying to be funny. I'm seriously asking.


A wash cloth is your friend.
#scrubitortugit

Girl. Honesty is the best policy but lacking here sometimes

I'm going to chime in on this if you don't mind. HONESTY IS THE KEY. Too many times guys and girls are not honest, whether when writing reviews, comments on threads, or references. Also. Everything that is said or commented on, some will take it for what it's worth and some will take it with a grain of salt and still explore and make their own opinion on the individual. And remember, you can't please everybody, but there is somebody for everyone.

Have fun and be safe

Tell it like it is, doesn't sound like a situation that is good for anyone in the hobby.

When you check references, would you want a provider to let you know if the guy had bumps on his smelly dick, and that he pressures for bb?

I tell the truth and expect the truth. One issue I can never understand why guys use me for a reference when it was over 6 months ago when i last saw them and they've had half a dozen providers check with me for references since they last saw me. why are they still using me for a reference after all this time. i think 6 months and i haven;t seen you, then find a newer reference.

I tell the truth and expect the truth. One issue I can never understand why guys use me for a reference when it was over 6 months ago when i last saw them and they've had half a dozen providers check with me for references since they last saw me. why are they still using me for a reference after all this time. i think 6 months and i haven;t seen you, then find a newer reference. Originally Posted by sue_nami

Maybe they didn't respond to reference checks. Just because you do that courtesy for someone doesn't mean they will do it for someone else.

sixx

What is wrong with a grown man who cannot figure out how to take a shower, use soap and be clean?? I just do not get it..

girl tell it like it is!!..

this is ironic. I was just telling a story yesterday about when I referred a buddy to a Provider and he was not so fresh. She called me and bent my ear on that one.. how was supposed to know? had no clue his junk stunk!

I don't think I have been as honest with references as I should; and I am sorry about that.

It just puts us in a precarious position because there is a spectrum of retaliation which might ensue.

I will just be completely honest from now on and let the consequences be.

I tell the truth and expect the truth. One issue I can never understand why guys use me for a reference when it was over 6 months ago when i last saw them and they've had half a dozen providers check with me for references since they last saw me. why are they still using me for a reference after all this time. i think 6 months and i haven;t seen you, then find a newer reference. Originally Posted by sue_nami

In defense for the guys Sue, if I'm in screening mode, and the guy didn't initially offer a reference, I just go down asking the list of providers. Some of the other girls might work this way also.

If a guy shows up smelly or issues I ask them to leave.

If he had no respect to be clean or take care of himself he is not the client for me. Hurt feelings or not.

I've never had to give a bad reference because of my policy, but if I had to I'd just be honest.

Upon PM with a provider and what Sue said about current references, I realized I was doing something else wrong.

I have been giving references from retired hobbyists who I haven't heard from in years!
I'm not talking guys whom I have kept in touch with over the years, I'm talking guys who I haven't seen in over a year.

isn't the point of a reference from one lady to the other is to let the lady know the guy is ok, not saying so is a disservice to your fellow ladies.

IB

The way I look at it, a reference implies three things (and that's really all I care to know):

1. Is he safe? No LE, not violent, abusive, didn't push for BBFS
2. Is he clean? No hygiene issue etc.
3. Did he pay your donation?

If a provider asks me for a reference from someone I have not seen in over 6 months, I tell her: he was safe, no hygiene or payment issues, but last time I saw him was (insert date). I will leave it up to her to make the choice of whether it's been too long or not.

If it is a no-reference from me, I always elaborate on the reason.


Edit: as for the "push for BBFS", that is the person who, in the middle of the date, will become pushy to the point you have to threaten to end the date. That, to me, it's a no reference.

isn't the point of a reference from one lady to the other is to let the lady know the guy is ok, not saying so is a disservice to your fellow ladies.

IB Originally Posted by Iron Butterfly

Yes, that is the point, and yes it is a disservice to the lady for not saying so.

The caveat here is

-one ladies smelly ass is another's squeaky clean.
-as discussed in the current std thread,
certain bumps can disappear. The lady might have not known otherwise.
-I do have a client whom I am having to deny BB to but he isn't at all harmful.
Just a little bug-a-boo whom I otherwise have great chemistry with.


So "ok" is somewhat subjective here.
Keep in mind the repercussions when a loudmouth repeats what you said.

This question isn't as dumb as it seems.

I keep waiting for someone to say:

We're all adults here, define an "ok" with a simple: if he isn't harmful and you can avoid harm then keep your mouth closed and let the next lady look out for herself.

but I don't, and point taken.

More input is still welcome.