I'm just not that into her.

daty/o's Avatar
I have an ongoing dialogue with a close friend about how I get laid less because I am so picky. Truth is, I have to be attracted to someone to want to have sex with them. For example, I am not attracted to tall or overweight women. His argument is that bbw’s give some of the best bj’s and I am missing them because of my prejudices. I counter with the fact that I have heard that gay men give the best bj’s and I don’t see him running to Cedar Springs every weekend. So guys, all things considered, how important is attraction to sexual interest? Is sex more physical or psychological? And girls, are your sessions affected by the amount of attraction you feel for the guy?
Gryphon's Avatar
There has to be a level of attraction for me to be interested, but that attraction can occur on multiple different levels. Most of the time my decision to see a provider for the first time is largely physical, things being what they are. I don't have a particular body type that I look for, but a given lady's photos either turn me on or, well, not.

Having said that, I have decided to see a few providers based on the personality and intelligence they project in their posts. The initial attraction there is much more mental and usually more satisfying. I have clicked really well with providers I have seen without that initial mental attraction, but it's a lot more hit-or-miss.

So I guess my overall answer is: it depends. If all I know about her is the content of her photos/ads/website, then she'd better be a hottie. If I have a chance to see her mind at work, that's where my focus will lie, and a provider who posts regularly and intelligently is more likely to get my business regardless of appearance.
Due to my size (and you can read a lot into that...I'll expound to any requests), I prefer spinners or nearly spinners. The physical fit is much better, whereas the physical fit with BBWs is fairly difficult.

However, I am also attracted to board personalities...and a wide range of personalities at that. I have had some good times with BBWs I would not have otherwise seen w/o this board.

Variety is the spice of life...
Everyone has their attraction points. For me, it is more in the touching, and not in the looks, body build, ect. Since I do not know how a man will touch me until we are in the actual act, I give just about anyone a chance to turn me on. Sometimes I give second chances.

I know, from my own fun times, that the slightly overweight girls are usually the more agressive, dirty, willing to try anything, and anxious to please type. It depends more on what you are personally wanting. Pretty things that is very pleasing to the eyes, that you can touch, taste, and feel....or someone that can push your sexual boundries, and allows you to push hers.

This is my #555 post! WHOO-HOO!!
What do I win??
I strongly feel that the word 'attraction' can be very ambiguous. One will never know why a stud who looks as if he should be a model for 24H Fitness, chooses to visit with a BBW provider or a 25 y/o may have an ATF who is 45.

When I was 19 I met a 35 y/o husky Jewish gentleman that utterly rocked my world. He wasn't a stud, nor was he especially pleasing to look at, but there was something about him, that attracted me enough to initially wind up in his bedroom. Through our adventures, I learned about anal sex, toys, bondage... the works, lmao. After a year, he even showed up at my father’s home and asked him for my hand (unbelievable). Sorry, I tend to digress.

Anywho... I try to find something 'attractive' in every person I see bcd. It doesn't always have to deal with looks. It could be how he carries himself, our conversation, his scent, the way he touches me, etc. Eroticism is a very powerful thing if you are able to expand your mind to include more than just the obvious.
Not to hijack the thread...Just as a side note...

I keep hearing this thing that ladies who are overweight or slightly overweight are more eager to please/the do whatever it takes type.

For the record, my sexual appetite and preferences have not changed from when I weighed 138 ten years ago to 180 now. I know that when I watch a porn clip, the nastiest girls are usually slim and attractive. Not to mention that most of the reviews on this board are not of BBW's... and many of the ladies on here are nasty... in a good way. I didn't even know that there was anything special about my BJ's until I became a provider. I thought that everyone did it the same way. Heck watched porno's and figured that's how it's done. If I like something I do it and that's that! I'm not going to let anyone push me to where I am uncomfortable. I don't need the money, it's the sex I enjoy!
ginaissosexii's Avatar
As long as one of the following apply to you I am attracted: (lol)
a. Sexy Smile
b. Good Sex
c. You are taller than me

I use to be a provider when I was 18 and of course I was smaller then, I stopped and I'm back but now I'm a "bbw" and I havent had any complaints Im not sure if it just depends but most of the guys I've seen love me! I dont think bbw's have anything to do with a bj being better, if the woman enjoys it they guy is going to enjoy it.
To the OP

Have you seen overweight woman before...did you pass out with disgust or rejoice....just asking.

Its about personality and good service. Period. How many times have I read about a really pretty spinner giving horrible service or having a extremely bad attitude.

You will be surprised how many attractive open-minded men visit BBW's and leave happy.

As far as overweight providers being the most er accommodating with certain services...NOT all of them...trust me.

Your opinion is lost me.
pyramider's Avatar
Most of sex is between your ears.
Most of sex is between your ears. Originally Posted by pyramider
+1
daty/o's Avatar
Lisa,

I wish I could tell you that I was abused by a big nanny when I was young, but the truth is, preferring women who are shorter and lighter than I am is just that, a preference. Nothing more. I'm not tall or particularly heavy, so maybe it's a male complex. Who knows?
This is a really good thread....i definently am affected by the attraction level.. being that its nice to have something great to look at! But at the same time looks are not all of the reason for attraction. as long as you are clean, sweet , and alittle frisky lol Im all about it! physical is not as important as physcological ....cause there are so many great looking people that have shitty attitudes that make them unattractive.

OP

Everyone has their preference and there are plently of different providers for everyone!
This is a really good thread....i definently am affected by the attraction level.. being that its nice to have something great to look at! Originally Posted by sexialexis86
All hobbists look like Ben Franklin.
I agree with Blackspanishteacher, you really never know who can rock it for you until you have them. I see men who vary so much in physical appearance, and each one of them was sexy in one way or another. I think, as a provider, you just really need to have a genuine love of men. Because I am attracted to how their minds work, their smell, the way they communicate, etc...its almost always all good. I've only seen one gent I was not attracted to in some way, and that was recent. He was short and there was something odd about him, but that wasn't what did it. The deal breaker was having him talk about how bad he wanted to see another lady for the first 45 mins of our 2 hr date. "Womp, womp, womp. Way to make a girl feel really into you buddy!" If he hadn't gone that route, I bet we would have had one hell of a time. LOL.
All hobbists look like Ben Franklin. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

No way!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol