Prostitution: The Most Honest Sexual Transaction

Wondering whether people agree with the following.

In my real life, I'm a consultant. Last year, a fellow consultant turned to me and said, "John, you know, we're nothing but industry whores. When our clients need us, they'll pay us large sums to get the job done. The moment we're finished, they want us out of their faces."

I found that thought-provoking, since it made me realize what negative connotations words like "whore" and "prostitution" have in our culture, yet so much of our transactions are no different than prostitution. What's ironic, is that when it comes to sex that is not directly paid for, much of our behavior is for all practical purposes, prostitution.

Merriam-Webster defines prostitution as, "The act or practice of engaging in promiscuous sexual relations especially for money." If a boy takes a girl out on a date, buys her a nice dinner, and then she has sex with him, is that prostitution? If a woman provides a lovely home for her husband and expects an intimate relationship in return, is that a form of prostitution? Society would say no, but the fact is that many people offer sex in exchange for things besides intimacy or pleasure. Based on the much larger number of females escorts I've seen on the review boards compared to male escorts, I believe men “need” sex more than women to feel content in life, so they may be more willing to do things to obtain it, but I've personally witnessed these trades going both ways.

Where things seem especially confusing to me is the exchange of sex for emotional connection. I believe that many people will become sexually involved with someone as a means to create an emotional connection. Their partner may be ready to reciprocate and a healthy relationship ensues. But more often than not, especially in shorter-term liaisons, the emotional bond does not develop. It is just sex, and the person who has sex to establish an emotional connection feels cheated.

What you see is people conducting complex interpersonal transactions in sexual relationships, yet they never discuss what is being transacted, and are often dishonest in their transactions. For instance, a man may sense the woman wants connection or commitment, but will have sex with her anyway and never commit. Yes, it's a cliché, but only because it keeps happening all around us.

That is not what happens in paid sex. As Juliette, my dear escort friend tells me, "That's ultimately why I like getting paid for sex. Not because I'm selling my body. It's because I'm giving myself to a man for the duration of the session. I give much more than sex. I listen to him; I emotionally reach out to him; I connect with him on as many levels as he is able to or willing to. I give myself to him as much as I can as a human can give. If he gives back on a deeper level, I consider that a bonus. It does happen surprisingly often. But if he gives me nothing when I feel like I gave him everything, it doesn't matter. Because I have the money. I don't ever walk away feeling like I was cheated."

And that is why prostitution is ultimately the most honest sexual transaction. A prostitute offers a service, whether it is sex or something a little deeper, and she or he gets paid for it. Sometimes I think that we should just all start charging for sex in an open and relaxed fashion. "Hey honey, I'll give you a sensual massage each day this week if you let me go golfing with my buddies next weekend. Or, "Sure, I'm okay with you taking my wife home for the night as long as she's up for it, but she charges $1,000." Why the hell not? We do it anyway - we just never admit to it and do it for terms we never articulate.

Maybe all our relationships would be healthier if we were completely honest about our sexual needs and what we were willing to do for each other to address those needs. Things might work even better if we remained fully open-minded about those needs. Beyond this though, I believe we should stop stigmatizing sex workers and their clients, assuming the transactions are consensual. They are, after all, just engaging in completely honest transactions.

An interesting idea but will never happen. In general, people are too self-centered.

I like to say that everyone sells pieces of themselves for money and I'm just happy I'm not selling my soul. A lot of people aren't so fortunate

I think we can substitute the word "Manipulate" for the word "Prostitute." We as humans are self-centered and we will from time to time attempt to manipulate other humans for our own selfish wants. A man will date a woman he has no intent on committing with, in order that the satisfy his sexual needs. At times after the sexual nned is fulfilled for him, he tosses her aside.

Women it is the same thing, she will flirt, bat her eyes, look cute, even have sex to get the man to fix her car, buy her jewelry, whatever, all the while knowing she has no intent on commtting to him.

These actions I am speakling of in my experience are in the civilian world and is simply manipulation. And at times I know she is attempting to manipulate me to pay for this or that and I let her as long as I am fulfilling my need which is usually sex.

Same thing as prositution, she is desiring cash and I am wanting sex. Again we manipulate each other but I agree on more honest plain. She knows I am looking for CIM or COT or whatever and I know she wants $$$ for the hour, very honest.

I must say I do love it when I call a lady on her attempted manipulation of me. There responses are almost comical. Like I did not know she wanted a paid weekend trip and she had no clue I wanted to fuck her, really? Why did I book one room for the weekend? Yep, this actually happened to me once, I told her flat out, I wanted to have sex and she said "no" we were just friends, of course after we were there!!!! Really?! I do not bring just friends on weekend trips with me and book only one room. She knew all along what was in my mind, and then acted all surprised when I hit on her, really?! I told honestly how I felt about what she was doing and she yelled at me a little bit. I could see her guilt coming out, cuz she knew what the fuck she did to me. Well, we ended up having sex when we got back home to make up for the weekend. That was a disasterous weekend. Now, I tell ladies before we go, recently took a lady to Atlanta for weekend and I told her my plans to Stone Mountain, go to football game, romantic dinner, and bedroom activity when we get back to room. She was fine with that and I had no problems. REally what is a woman thinking if a man books a room for two nights in an exotic place and only one room at that. I did nto think I had to tell you women what I was thinking?! lol.

imo, its mostly honest

Surely honest sexual transactions are made, especially with the fine ladies we have on this board. But for many years it was a hit and miss proposition with up sells, lame services, rip offs, possible STDs, etc. Even today, you take a chance if you take the "cheaper" route of Back Page providers and street walkers. Having reviews and being on ECCIE does keep our providers (and I hope clients) honest.

The OPs first paragraph stuck a cord with me as a Software consultant. I think we are whores or slaves when we decide to work for someone else. I'm giving my time, body, and mind in exchange for money. Although it doesn't involve sex, I still feel like a whore sometimes (especially when my customers abuse me, which thankfully is not often). Even if you are self employed, you are still sometimes a whore to your customers.

We are all actors on the stage of life, but we all make our living being a whore in some form or fashion.