Good Morning Class. Professor SL Is Taking A Few Days Off. My Name Is Treetop. I am Your Substitute. Today Is Field Trip Day To Better Understand What A 50 to 70 Year Old Inactive White Dude Really Looks Like

Good morning class. Professor SL is taking a few days of much needed vacation and that is why he isn't here. My name is Mr. Treetop and I'll be your substitute teacher.

Guess what class? Today we are going to take a field trip to "my" HEB. Tommy, please bring those rolls of duck tape with you.

Now that we are in the grocery store now let's walk over to the baking isle. Tommy, you are our volunteer today because you are an attractive, fit and a height weight proportionate active white dude.

Now class, I need each one of you to get a one pound brick of lard off the bottom shelf. Now let's tape 20 of those bricks of lard to Tommy to simulate an extra 20 pounds.I know class, they all won't fit around the belly so tape 2 under his chin and the rest on his ass and legs

"Ewwww" the class moans after the 20th. one is taped. I agree class. It's pretty gross. Now let's tape 10 more on Tommy and then keep going up in increments of 10 pounds until Tommy has 80 bricks of lard attached to him. Keep in mind that the more bricks you tape to him that you will eventually be putting fat on top of fat on top of fat as Tommy gets fatter and fatter and uglier and uglier. Also imagine how even more grostique it would be if they were not tall or less then 6 foot.

Now that we are finished let me summarize the lesson we learned today. We all said that 20 bricks of lard taped to Tommy was gross. Now that he has 80 taped to him it not only made Tommy really ugly and stink really bad it also turned him into a disgusting piece of human waste.

No women really wants Tommy anymore. Not even his cheerleader girlfriend since he has had since elementary school. Now, if Tommy wants a kiss he has to pay someone. Now imagine if he was your future husband and you had to sleep with him. A fat ball of hair and pimples on his back doesn't sound good does it? Yuck.

In other words, the next time an inactive 50-70 year old white dude says 20 - 80 pounds is only a few extra pounds you know that isn't true.

Now close your eyes and try to visualize a group of 10 old white dudes with a "few extra pounds" having drinks.

That could be a group that is collectively carrying 800 bricks of lard. Maybe even ONE THOUSAND if they are not telling the truth about their "few extra pounds? That is why a bunch of lard ass dudes hang out together. Because they are all like minded a want to hang around with other sloths. That's good they have each other because nobody else wants wants them except when it comes to their money.

Tomorrow we will do another exercise on 50-70 year old inactive white dudes with a "few extra pounds". We are going to watch first hand how they changed from a fit dude to a gross old fat dude that stinks.

Also, please give this list I'm passing out to your parents because this is what we will need during lab tomorrow.

3 GI Joe Dolls
3 Ken Dolls
3 Tarzan Dolls
1 Hacksaw Blade
18 Feet of String
10 Pounds of Crisco
10 Pounds of Candle Wax
1 Propane Turkey Frier
2 Quarts of Fermented Cabbage
3 Extra Large Glass Vases (large mouth, one gallon)

I will bring the misc. items.

Class dismissed.

I know what I'd look like if I's take any of this shit seriously....

I'll just leave this here...

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Obesity_vs_Overweight


For the record I'm a male at 6'2" and 200 lbs.
I need to work on my "love handles".

I'll just leave this here...

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Obesity_vs_Overweight


For the record I'm a male at 6'2" and 200 lbs.
I need to work on my "love handles". Originally Posted by Observing

Is that really female at 5'8" and 180 lbs with mommy damage?

Is everyone coming to the same realisation?!

Whispers just needs to adjust his height to 7 foot 10 inches and he'll be a healthy weight.

So are you disappointed that your attempt to be relevant has failed repetitively here lately Treetop?

So are you disappointed that your attempt to be relevant has failed repetitively here lately Treetop? Originally Posted by Whispers

Here's someone who dropped 67lbs. and showed the world what 67lbs. of FAT looked like.

So are you disappointed that your attempt to be relevant has failed repetitively here lately Treetop? Originally Posted by Whispers

Oh, I think Treetop has become quite relevant.

Well done, sir.

So are you disappointed that your attempt to be relevant has failed repetitively here lately Treetop? Originally Posted by Whispers

You and SL incessantly and ad nauseam use the word "fat" here.
Just so we're CLEAR on the definition of "fat":

noun
1.
a natural oily or greasy substance occurring in animal bodies, especially when deposited as a layer under the skin or around certain organs.
synonyms:fatty tissue, adipose tissue, cellulite; More
adjective
1.
(of a PERSON or animal) having a large amount of excess flesh.
"the driver was a fat, wheezing man"
synonymslump, stout, overweight, large, chubby, portly, flabby, paunchy, potbellied, beer-bellied, meaty, of ample proportions, heavyset.

By any measure or standard,YOU sir,are FAT.
PERIOD.
So for you to come here and constantly spew your gravy ladled hate 'bout someone else's weight is bitter hypocrisy.
PERIOD.
So yeah,anybody callin' your fat ass out IS relevant.
PERIOD.
As you say "Man up" and own your bullshit.

So are you disappointed that your attempt to be relevant has failed repetitively here lately Treetop? Originally Posted by Whispers

Another assumptive phrase. You are wanting to make people think that my intent is to be relevant.

Also, who said that my attempt to be relevant has failed repetitively if that is the intent? Another assumptive phrase.

BTW. Am I relevant?

Oh, I think Treetop has become quite relevant. Originally Posted by Cap'n Crunch

Welcome Back Capn...... he does seem the type you would embrace..... Be sure to give him a reach around as well....

Not sure I understand why it matters they are fat. Hookers only care about how "fat" their wallets are.

Mr Treetop's sap is draining him.

Mr Treetop's sap is draining him. Originally Posted by pyramider

Blow me. Just joking buddy. lol

Cheers and be safe.

Welcome Back Capn...... he does seem the type you would embrace..... Be sure to give him a reach around as well.... Originally Posted by Whispers

What's not to like when this thread is so funny and accurate?