dirty limericks anyone?

Thought it'd be amusing to see how many dirty limericks we could find to pass the time without any repeats. Here's one to start it off:

There once was a man from Sweetwater,
Who loved to have sex with his daughter.
They got caught in the hay,
The cops hauled him away,
And the next day her brother was on her!

There once was a man from Bel Air
Who was doing his wife on the stair
But the banister broke
So he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid-air
.............................. .............................. .......

There was a young lady named Claire
Who possessed a magnificent pair;
Or that's what I thought
'Til I saw one get caught
On a thorn, and begin to lose air.
.............................. .............................. ..........


There was a young plumber named Lee
Who plumbed his girl down by the sea;
Said the lady, "Stop plumbing!
I hear someone coming."
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "That's me."

There once was a man from Nantucket; who had a dick so long he could suck it. As he said with a grin; with some cum on his chin; if my ear were a cunt I would fuck it.

We all know a lady named Dallas,
Who always enjoys a good phallus.
You'll be worn to a nub,
On a bed, in a tub,
Enough visits you'll swear you've grown callus!

LOVE IT!!!

There once was a fellow O'Doole
Who found little red spots on his tool
His doctor, a cynic
said "Get out of my clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick, you fool!"

There was a young lady from France
Who hopped on a freight train by chance
The engineer fucked her
and so did the conductor
and the brakeman shot a load in his pants

There was a young man from Boston
who bought himself an Austin
There was room for his ass
and a gallon of gas
but his balls hung out so he lost "em

On the chest of a barmaid at Yale
Were tattooed the prices of ale
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
Was the same information in Braille