hobbying as a married guy

Should you look at this as cheating? I love my wife and would never think about leaving her, but saying that she doesnt satisfy my needs in the bedroom as well as I would like. So, I go see a provider every once in a while to keep me happy.

i dont, but i know mine would!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know this won't be received well but I believe unless your SO is aware of your hobbying it's absolutely cheating. If you not getting what you need from her then tell her about it. If she isn't willing to change then maybe it's time for a change in the relationship.

WTF? Of coarse you’re cheating! But I agree with Burk, talk to your wife. Tell her how important your needs are. If she loves you, at least she will give it the old college try! But you need to ask yourself, are you doing everything you should be doing? There is an old saying, "Always heat up the pan before you stick in the meat!" Make sure you find out what she wants and find a happy medium. Now if you’re just looking for variety... well then you’re fucked!

Haven't been a fly on the wall in bedrooms, but from what I have been able to gather, husbands and wives often are ashamed or embarrassed to talk about their sexual needs. They are afraid that their mate would be shocked and horrified and perceive them as some kind of pervert. The relationship might then be ruined. Yet husbands and wives should be able to talk freely about their sexual needs without any restriction.


I am not married, but I find it very easy to talk with an escort about my needs and desires. Can talk to them without feeling any embarrassment. Even if she disagrees, she will likely be understanding. I imagine it is also easier for many married men to discuss their desires with an escort, than it is with their wives.

Much easier to talk to an escort about your sexual needs! There's no history there.
No overthinking, no grudges, nothing to use to against you in the future. This may sound like I'm being critical of the married life, but that's the way it works in many marriages. Reveal your deepest, most perverted desires at your own risk!

My wife had a botched surgery and sex is too painful for her.

I told her that I needed a bit more. She understands 100%.

Not the same boat as you but talk to your wife. I did and she said she would have rather known about it then for me to do it behind her back.

Six years no sex with with (I take care of her by oral) Now she doesnt have to wonder why I am taking so much money out of our account.

oh, 20 years with wife

Much easier to talk to an escort about your sexual needs! There's no history there.
No overthinking, no grudges, nothing to use to against you in the future. This may sound like I'm being critical of the married life, but that's the way it works in many marriages. Reveal your deepest, most perverted desires at your own risk! Originally Posted by Smoking Monkey

I totally agree with this.

Well, before you sit the little honey down and say you are fooling around with Hookers, you best stop and find the number of a good divorce lawyer.

I'd hide all the butcher knives as well.

You thought that hobbying is expensive. Wait until the soon to be ex-wife finishing with you on a divorce.

If you don't have a clear "go for it," you're cheating. Talk to her, but don't tell her you were cheating (duh!). Honesty starting....now. If she won't meet your needs, and you don't get a clear "go for it," you have a few decisions to make. One would be whether to keep cheating or not. Good luck.

Haven't been a fly on the wall in bedrooms, but from what I have been able to gather, husbands and wives often are ashamed or embarrassed to talk about their sexual needs. They are afraid that their mate would be shocked and horrified and perceive them as some kind of pervert. The relationship might then be ruined. Yet husbands and wives should be able to talk freely about their sexual needs without any restriction.


I am not married, but I find it very easy to talk with an escort about my needs and desires. Can talk to them without feeling any embarrassment. Even if she disagrees, she will likely be understanding. I imagine it is also easier for many married men to discuss their desires with an escort, than it is with their wives. Originally Posted by tuckahoe

I was unsatisfied with my sex life at home, so I started hobbying. After a few years, I got caught and let me tell you, that was quite the conversation starter! It actually made things better, but occaisionally I get distracted a little.

Much easier to talk to an escort about your sexual needs! There's no history there.
No overthinking, no grudges, nothing to use to against you in the future. This may sound like I'm being critical of the married life, but that's the way it works in many marriages. Reveal your deepest, most perverted desires at your own risk! Originally Posted by Smoking Monkey

I also agree with this. Is it cheating? Yes. Do I feel bad about it? No.

It certainly is cheating. Besides taking funds from your marriage and expending them on your secret pleasures is a bit selfish don't ya think?

I also agree....its cheating....not only on her but yourself.....if you open up and share your fantasies and desires...you may be suprised....she might have them to!

I am married.....I work out and take care of my self....Men compliment me all the time...

I mentioned one time that i would love to kiis another woman....That opened up everything....he started asking me about other things....then started sharing his desires....he wanted to be with a provider so we went on vacation and I set it up in Canada..He had his hot 25 year old fantasy while I had a glass of Zin to help out..dont be fooled....as a woman we all have insecurities i knew what she looked like and he told me everything....The next time it was my turn I got the girl with him....then he wanted to see what an MP was like.....


Sooooo....be honest..... open....leave no doubt in her mind...she is the hottest...woman...you love her...your not going anywhere....put effort into it .....she should be doing the same for you......as her confidence grows ....so does yours and the lines of communication open....So start worshiping her...then slowly break into your fantasies....if you want her its worth the effort stop going to providers for now....and dont tell her you did already....if it doesnt work you wre heading for a divorce anyways!


Good Luck Handsome!!!!!