Last night at approximately 1 minute past midnight, I encountered loud knocks at my front door.
I should never have opened the door.
To my shock and surprise I was immediately confronted and detained by several men in black.
They began to read me my rights but I demanded evidence.
They presented me with a large kitchen bag filled with no less than 400 used condoms.
Luckily the condoms were all of the magnum size.
I presented my tiny dick as proof that this in no way could have been me.
Of course I was totally embarrassed, but I figured better to be flush in the face than face time in the big house.
After the gents recovered from extended laughter, one asked – “maybe you’re a grower and not a shower?”
Then they brought in their secret weapon.
A gorgeous stripper with a huge tat of a parrot displayed on her right shoulder blade.
It was a very colorful tattoo and I gotta admit, the lady was smoking hott as well.
As I sat in a chair she bumped and grinded on my little lad until I was at full attention.
Then the truth was confirmed – no way my little 2.5 inches of menacing meat could fit those over sized prophylactics.
Whew, that was close!!!
Ladies and gentlemen, please take heed and stay safe.