Where Are The Eccie Soothe Sayers ?

Sistine Chapel's Avatar
I used to listen to Wash Allen's show where people would write letters looking to get advice on any number of topics. Wash would read the letters on air and then ask his callers (also known as sooth sayers) to chime in and advise. It was the best show ever. One guy that used to call himself the Black Lamb (i actually knew him) was particularly vicious and mean spirited in his advice and Wash had a disdain for him but still allowed him to call in.

So now I need the Eccie Soooth Sayers to give me advice. My issue is as follows:

I'm madly in love with 7 different women. They're all uniquely different but unfortunately I dont live in a polygamous society and someday soon before the return of our lord and savior I want to settle down and who knows maybe get married with a prenup in place of course.

One girl is a provider, one a stripper, one a vets assistant, one a lawyer, one an aspiring liberal journalist, one is a current housewife, and the last one is a college student that plays softball.

They range in ages 23-36; various races, all petite with beautiful smiles. The craziest one is the liberal journalist but shes the one I have the most in common with from a conversation perspective. The most loyal and grounded is the provider. The neediest is the vet assistance, the most fun and outgoing is the lawyer and stripper, the one that makes me smile the most is the college girl.

I'm torn and sad as fuck because I dont know what decision to make. I usually know these things but it's hard I'm human too. I love them all and I want to continue having my cake and eating it too. But can I? Most women wont go for this kind of behavior and I'm also aware the lord will be returning soon and he wont let me keep them all.


Signed,

Dazed and Confused.
DEAR_JOHN's Avatar
I'm clairvoyant and can see into the future. I see....I see.....I see hardly anybody giving a shit.
jimmy jump's Avatar
^^^^ he is gifted, and maybe a tad rude.
Valet parking dude sistah hasn't gotten laid in months is what I got from that
Sistine Chapel's Avatar
Soothsayer feedback is not always kind. You guys are mean. Where's the real advice. DJ I know you love me and can do better than that. I have a real situation here. I wouldn't have come to you if I didnt value your opinion.
Sistine Chapel's Avatar
Same applies to backtohosuton. Give real feedback or stay home bruh.
MaxShaft's Avatar
Go for the one with a stable job and income. But I would stay away from the Lawyer at all costs.
This is for Dear Abby...be careful she'll probably bitch slap your ass...and rightfully so!!
Sistine Chapel's Avatar
Go for the one with a stable job and income. But I would stay away from the Lawyer at all costs. Originally Posted by MaxShaft
But why?

The lawyer is fun, super nasty, and kinda has some interesting stuff going on in her personal life that intrigues me. The stripper is just as fun as the lawyer but I wonder if she truly has the consistency required for a long term relationship...she seems like it though shes not your typical stripper and shes not from Houston.
Sistine Chapel's Avatar
This is for Dear Abby...be careful she'll probably bitch slap your ass...and rightfully so!! Originally Posted by bb1961
As you can see with this delimma I'm more mixed up than bowl of fruit loops. Lol
Sistine Chapel's Avatar
And to the lady reading this that can no longer speak to me. It's ok. I know you miss me sweetie and I miss you back.
Looks like from your avatar and past dream of being a community organizer, you'll be most compatible with the liberal journalist.
allaboutthebbbj's Avatar
Cool story
Sistine Chapel's Avatar
Looks like from your avatar and past dream of being a community organizer, you'll be most compatible with the liberal journalist. Originally Posted by Curved65
She has the most in common with me intellectually. But I don't laugh as much.
Sistine Chapel's Avatar
Cool story Originally Posted by allaboutthebbbj
I know...I'd hate me too if I were you. I get it.