"U the only girl in the world askin for work info"

*rolls eyes* Anyone else get this line a lot?
Maybe just me, but i would never give out real world info..
Vannah's Avatar
There's nothing wrong with asking a gentleman what you need to know in order to feel safe, especially if he isn't well established here. Of course, it's his prerogative whether he wants to provide the information or not, but if he doesn't I would politely let him know that he can suck his own dick. It may end up saving you a big headache. Stay safe, girl!
Every provider and client is in the hobby at their own risk with their own set of rules. There's nothing wrong with the provider asking for information to make herself feel safe. But there's also nothing wrong with the client refusing to give out real names and workplace info to someone they've never seen. We all have our regulars and people we are comfortable around. Risk aversion is the name of the game not just in sharing personal info but how we hobby too. Not everybody is as safe as the next person. Being hostile to someone else for the way they handle themselves is sort of a useless though. To each his or her own I say.
austin88998833's Avatar
Yeah Im with Stanleedies. If a provider needs to ask to feel safe in her vetting process, fine. But understand that most hobbyists do not wish to mix their RW info with their hobby for obvious reasons such as family, marriage, career, business and countless other things. I am not sharing that info, esp. when meeting a provider for the very first time. Everyone has their own comfort zone and they should operate within that so as not to feel that they are taking unnecessary risks.
Every provider and client is in the hobby at their own risk with their own set of rules. There's nothing wrong with the provider asking for information to make herself feel safe. But there's also nothing wrong with the client refusing to give out real names and workplace info to someone they've never seen. We all have our regulars and people we are comfortable around. Risk aversion is the name of the game not just in sharing personal info but how we hobby too. Not everybody is as safe as the next person. Being hostile to someone else for the way they handle themselves is sort of a useless though. To each his or her own I say. Originally Posted by stanleedies
I wasn't meaning to come off as if I expect every client to give real world info. I was more taking a jab at me being the "only one" who asks for it, when I know of at least a handful of girls that do the same.
DallasRain's Avatar
There's nothing wrong with asking a gentleman what you need to know in order to feel safe, especially if he isn't well established here. Of course, it's his prerogative whether he wants to provide the information or not, but if he doesn't I would politely let him know that he can suck his own dick. It may end up saving you a big headache. Stay safe, girl! Originally Posted by Vannah

Ditto. I use work info but if a guy thinks I cant be trusted with it then he can just miss out on a helluva ride
I wasn't meaning to come off as if I expect every client to give real world info. I was more taking a jab at me being the "only one" who asks for it, when I know of at least a handful of girls that do the same. Originally Posted by Jett_Thorne
I do agree with you that several ask for real world info. But some don't. Just like some guys are ok with giving it and many of us boys don't wanna. I hardly think you're the only chica who asks for it. So yes the line is worn out.
I think it goes with what girl is asking. Jett with one review, I wouldn't give you my mother dogs maiden name. But as far as how established Dallas is, I would let her know everything she needs to know, If I was horny enough. So i understand a guys prospective, it's not like you are a well respected member of the community.

And I know you are going to say the same about me, just remember, I'm not asking for a date. I'm just giving my opinion.
I may have asked real world info in extreme cases. My newbie screening is very detailed and thorough. I generally ask a new guy what "type" of work do you do. Some indulge a specific place with no issues but a few haven't wanted to tell me anything. I don't push just try to find a way for both of us to feel comfortable. I have found that if I explain why I am asking these specific questions , the hobbyist understands and we move on to a very enjoyable date!!!!
I can really sympathize with both sides on this. Providers and clients both have legitimate needs to protect themselves. I'm not really sure what the answer is to balance the needs of both. I'm sure most of the providers are very protective of the screening information they receive, but just like with a few "bad apple" clients making things harder for all clients including the good ones, the same holds true with occasional "bad apple" providers making it hard for the great majority of responsible ones. I wish I saw a solution.

Bit of a personal anecdote related to this: Someone I've never seen before who had tried unsuccessfully multiple times to get me to see her in the past reached out a while back to make sure I knew that she had obtained my real name. Doesn't really matter how, she told me a provider's name that gave it to her but it was obvious she had some type of issue with that provider and was trying to use me as a pawn in some kind of revenge scheme. However she got it, the point is, there was someone out there that couldn't be trusted with personal information.

To make it abundantly clear, I'm not taking either side on this. I understand and agree with providers needing the info to protect themselves. I also understand and agree with why clients are reticent to give out their info. Tough situation. I would say the best solution is P411, which acts as a sort of proxy for the provider knowing the clients' info. However P411 is about to start requiring two provider vouches (instead of employment verification), meaning that before someone can be a member they will very likely already have given out their personal info to two providers.
I can really sympathize with both sides on this. Providers and clients both have legitimate needs to protect themselves. I'm not really sure what the answer is to balance the needs of both. I'm sure most of the providers are very protective of the screening information they receive, but just like with a few "bad apple" clients making things harder for all clients including the good ones, the same holds true with occasional "bad apple" providers making it hard for the great majority of responsible ones. I wish I saw a solution.

Bit of a personal anecdote related to this: Someone I've never seen before who had tried unsuccessfully multiple times to get me to see her in the past reached out a while back to make sure I knew that she had obtained my real name. Doesn't really matter how, she told me a provider's name that gave it to her but it was obvious she had some type of issue with that provider and was trying to use me as a pawn in some kind of revenge scheme. However she got it, the point is, there was someone out there that couldn't be trusted with personal information.

To make it abundantly clear, I'm not taking either side on this. I understand and agree with providers needing the info to protect themselves. I also understand and agree with why clients are reticent to give out their info. Tough situation. I would say the best solution is P411, which acts as a sort of proxy for the provider knowing the clients' info. However P411 is about to start requiring two provider vouches (instead of employment verification), meaning that before someone can be a member they will very likely already have given out their personal info to two providers. Originally Posted by SpankyJ
I can see how bad apple providers would make people reluctant
DallasRain's Avatar
Lol. Mother dogs maiden name...luv it!

Yep the bad apples have made it rough for us reputable providers

I use my private home as incall in springfield so I am not as newbie friendly as normal.. I luv my home and dont wanna jepordize that just for a buck n a nut!
I was told by one of my gents
"If ya cant trust Dallas then who can ya trust"

But trust IS a two way street... I have no reason to screw a guy over so no need for me to do anything with his info except for verifying him so we can play.....trust/safety and discretion is the holy trinity of setting up playtime!
trust/safety and discretion is the holy trinity of setting up playtime! Originally Posted by DallasRain
I love that! Very well put, Dallas.