Stupid jokes

I've always loved stupid and senseless jokes. Post your favorite.

Heres mine:

There is a man that just got done eating dinner and he was on his way to a party.
Half way there he said, "man i really gotta take a dump." he got off the freeway, found an abandoned gas station went in there and took a dump.
While he was taking this dump he read a sign that said "There is no tolet paper... You have wipe your ass with your first two fingers, then stick them out the hole and they will be licked clean for you."
Well, he had no choice so he wiped his ass with his fingers and stuck them out the hole.
All of a sudden a guy with two bricks smacked his fingers.
The man screamed with pain and licked his own fingers.

a guy is taking a dump in a public restroom

he looks around...there is no toilet paper

there s a guy in the next stall

first guy bangs on the partition & says
"is there any toilet paper over there?"

the second guy says "NO---just use some one dollar bills"

First guy is silent momentarily and then asks
"have you got 2 fives for a ten?"

This bartender is in a bar, when this really hot chick walks up and says in a sexy seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?" He says, "Not right now, is there anything I can help you with?" She replies, "I don't know if your the man to talk to...its kind of personal..." Thinking he might get lucky, he goes, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem, miss." She then looks at him with a smile, and puts two of her fingers in his mouth...and he begins sucking them, thinking "I'm in!!!" She goes, "Can you give the manager something for me?" The bartender nods...yes. "Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom."

Two Norwegians were talking in the park when a bird
splattered one of them on the head.
Eyeing the mess, the victim's companion offered to go
get some toilet paper.

"Won't do no good," said the messed-up one,
"by the time you get back, that bird will be four miles away."

Good one!

I've always loved stupid and senseless jokes. Post your favorite.

Heres mine:

There is a man that just got done eating dinner and he was on his way to a party.
Half way there he said, "man i really gotta take a dump." he got off the freeway, found an abandoned gas station went in there and took a dump.
While he was taking this dump he read a sign that said "There is no tolet paper... You have wipe your ass with your first two fingers, then stick them out the hole and they will be licked clean for you."
Well, he had no choice so he wiped his ass with his fingers and stuck them out the hole.
All of a sudden a guy with two bricks smacked his fingers.
The man screamed with pain and licked his own fingers. Originally Posted by boomer_ci

What do a provider and a turtle have in common?

When on their backs, they're both fucked

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste