Would you inroduce a friend to the biz?

I have a friend... no really it's not me! She is in a very toxic enviroment. She has two kiddo's, and a man that starting abusing her. It's only going to get worse. I love her to death, and she has always had her head on straight until this year, and now her life has taken a turn for the worse. She has been very close to me for years, and doesn't have a lot of options. I have offered to let her stay with me a week to see if she could handle providing. She hasn't asked me for help, but I love her. I know she needs help. She has hinted at providing, but says she just didn't know if she could do it. I care about her children alot too. Would I be corrupting her? I know I can't "save" her. What would you do?

I think you have opened the door far enough with your offer to stay with you for a week. I wouldn't push her or encourage her more. It's something she has to decide.

Since she is your friend, you should also help her understand her other options - like possibly a shelter since there is abuse in her current situation.

Does she know what you do? If so she will get around to asking.....

She might want to explore other alternatives as providing will put a nail in the relationship coffin and no matter what you think about her being abused she might not be ready to give up on him...

I wouldn't fuel a fire already burning...

Yes, she knows what I do. She has always known. And that is the thing Whispers, she has a small child with this man. He is very abusive, and there would be no going back if she left for a week. He broke her nose last week. She was married to a good guy for years, and he passed away. I don't know how she ended up with this loser. I guess I am over functioning for her. I can't talk her into going to a shelter. Where we grew up there just aren't many resources like that. It's just sad.

Brit,

Based on this posting, this potential for drama with your friend would be enough to turn off some from booking. Now unless she can really... uh... no I still would not book.

I am sure there are other providers in similar situations but most hobbyists would rather not know about it.

sixx

Wow, you have a point. I'm messing up her business before she ever starts! What a friend I am, lol!

I had a friend who asked me to get her into this..at the time I felt that during her current situation it wasnt best for her to jump intp this world as things got better for her we started working together finaly she went indy.i really feel for your friend and wish her all the best.

The more the merrier baby, is she good looking? No really I think it would be a bad idea especially with an abusive man. You never know when he might come in banging through the door, could turn out real bad.

I have a friend... no really it's not me! She is in a very toxic enviroment. She has two kiddo's, and a man that starting abusing her. It's only going to get worse.

I have offered to let her stay with me a week to see if she could handle providing. Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

He is very abusive, and there would be no going back if she left for a week. He broke her nose last week. Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

Howdy, Folks!

Based on this posting, this potential for drama with your friend would be enough to turn off some from booking. Now unless she can really... uh... no I still would not book.
Originally Posted by sixxbach

No really I think it would be a bad idea especially with an abusive man. You never know when he might come in banging through the door, could turn out real bad. Originally Posted by PornPet69

Nail.

Head.

Hit.


Hate to say it, but - some folks are gonna be thinking it, so better just say it to you straight.


Flippo the Abusive Wife Beater is gonna follow the wife. If she leaves, he will hunt her down, and continue to beat on her.

He may also attempt to beat the ass of anyone aiding her in her quest to get away from him, i.e., you.


Knowing that some woman(who's got a psycho husband) may possibly be living with you for a week, and psycho husband may bust in at any moment at the "Safe House" to open a can of whoopass on anyone around - Hmm...


Maybe he won't show up - maybe he'll just beat out of her who she's gonna stay with, and what that lady does for a living.

Maybe he'll just call the cops, and let them perform a surprise visit on the friend(and her clients) that was gonna wreck his regularly scheduled beatup plans with his wifey.


Sorry - it's already out there; can't put it back. Good luck to all of you.

Instead of spending that week with you, she should spend it at SafePlace where she can get all the support (emotional, legal, etc.) that she needs from people who are trained to do this.

But as others have said, it has to be her decision. Trying to "fix it yourself" is admirable, but as has been stated above, you're potentially putting yourself at risk from this bozo/loser/lowlife/scum.

z

Instead of spending that week with you, she should spend it at SafePlace where she can get all the support (emotional, legal, etc.) that she needs from people who are trained to do this.

But as others have said, it has to be her decision. Trying to "fix it yourself" is admirable, but as has been stated above, you're potentially putting yourself at risk from this bozo/loser/lowlife/scum.
z Originally Posted by ztonk

NO!!! do not introduce her to this hobby.
Most importantly, she has a child and more than likely she will be involved with some sort of legal issues since the father is in the picture. Last thing she needs is to take the chance of loosing her child because she became an escort. She would have a better chance (in court) working at McDonals & living under a bridge. That is just the way it is....

She is emotionally unstable(to be expected). You know as well as I that the hardest part about being a provider is being able to handle the emotional aspect of this hobby.
A new provider with a desperate need for money...
-will do things she rather not do because she needs the money.
-She will be a high volume provider; "being new talent" will attract a large number of hobbyist & because she needs the $ she will try accommodate as many as appointments possible.
-Making at least 1k per week is difficult to do in a 9-5 unless she has a college degree; making the hobby an easier option.
-Majority of us will turn to drugs & alcohol to be able to handle a session.

If this was a good career choice, we would not live a double life. It would not be a "secret".
We would tell our daughters at 18 that becoming an escort is an option in which she could make as much if not more than if she had a job that required a bachelors degree.
The brutal truth is that majority of the ladies in this hobby are emotionally damaged. Most prior to becoming a provider & this hobby will eventually add to the injury. It is extremely difficult & dangerous in many ways to be a successful provider. A provider that is able to maintain a healthy private & hobby life are few and far between.

She has many options besides selling her most private and personal being; whether we admit it or not, that is what we do, & again, few women are able to survive ......

Ask yourself.... If you had the option to get an education for free, help getting a job, free clothing for work, free identification (dl, ss; birth certificates) free health care for you & child for free, free daycare, food, a safe place to live for you & your child, counseling services to help overcome the mental damage of being in an abusive relationship and to avoid the pattern of falling into another abusive relationship..... Many, many, free services are out there to help women in her situation.

If you truly want to help her... recommend she 1st applies for food stamps & medicaid. They might direct her to other agencies that will provide her with the help she needs to get back on her feet.

In my 9 to 5 civi job, I work with several State agencies that provide help for those that want it. Feel free to call me & I will be happy to help.

Now, once she gets past these issues & is back on her feet & living a "normal & healthy" life.... then suggest the hobby & then she will be able to make the decision of becoming a provider with a clear mind.

Regardless of what you do, she is fortunate to have you as a friend when she needs it the most.

Good luck!


As far as the comments of the husband/boyfriend causing problems for her clients..... You guys forget, that we providers take the chance or have already experienced the fury of a hobbyists WIFE/SO who has deiscovered her husbands extra curricular activities... It goes both ways. Actually, there is a bigger chance of meeting a hobbyist wife than a providers husband.


-

Yes, she knows what I do. She has always known. And that is the thing Whispers, she has a small child with this man. He is very abusive, and there would be no going back if she left for a week. He broke her nose last week. She was married to a good guy for years, and he passed away. I don't know how she ended up with this loser. I guess I am over functioning for her. I can't talk her into going to a shelter. Where we grew up there just aren't many resources like that. It's just sad. Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

Let that bastard try and break my nose! I hate that shit. I wish I could run into that dumbass loser of a man.

A) if the "man" found out, do you really think he'd say "that's cool"? Or would he beat the shit out of her?
B) the only way to protect herself (other than going to SafePlace) would be a restraining order. And I know of women who got one and wound up with the cops driving by her new place on a regular basis.
C) as Ms Francisca points out, custody is going to be an ugly, ugly fight.
D) he could just nark on her

Assuming you are armed and knowledgeable, you might be able to take her in. But I'd suggest SafePlace. That's why I send a bunch of money there, to protect women (and their kids) from "men" like him.

A) if the "man" found out, do you really think he'd say "that's cool"? Or would he beat the shit out of her?
B) the only way to protect herself (other than going to SafePlace) would be a restraining order. And I know of women who got one and wound up with the cops driving by her new place on a regular basis.
C) as Ms Francisca points out, custody is going to be an ugly, ugly fight.
D) he could just nark on her

Assuming you are armed and knowledgeable, you might be able to take her in. But I'd suggest SafePlace. That's why I send a bunch of money there, to protect women (and their kids) from "men" like him. Originally Posted by austin_voy

This is probably the best advice.

I still think guys that hit women should have their balls cut off and feed to them.

This is probably the best advice.

I still think guys that hit women should have their balls cut off and feed to them. Originally Posted by Wyldeman30

+1.....with a very dull knife.

Spacemtn