Loosing Virginity

Any advice for me?

I am an older virgin who was raised in a fundamentalist religious community and am looking to loose my virginity. I would like my first experience to be with a truly attractive and confident woman, which at my age pretty much rules out getting it for free via a hookup.

I visited a house in NV but walked when I heard the prices. I figured I'd just use a local escort for a tenth of the cost. I live in Dallas, shouldn't be a problem, right? But the issue is finding the right provider. There is no way to know if I will "click" with a provider before cash is expected. Most of the best reviewed providers don't want to be bothered with newbies.

From what I have read about hobbying on the RB forum, it is a sorted business with a lot of scams and mutual disrespect -- not exactly sexy good times. So now I'm not sure which direction to go in.

I tried to set up a lunch date without the proverbial desert with a local independent provider, thinking that that might be a way to ease into it, but she flaked on me. All of which leads me to think that providers really prefer to just do their thing, get the money, and avoid anything personal. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But if I'm going to waste money on "dates," I might as well waste money in a legal brothel. Which got me thinking about another trip to NV. The advantage of a brothel is: I get to look at and interact a little with the providers before committing to anything. I have learned from my last trip there and would be a wiser man this time. (e.g. Don't make a deposit on an appointment with a provider who you have not seen.) But due to my inexperience and age I'm not sure I can get wood in that environment -- a seedy trailer park in the desert with ugly red rooms, dirty bed spreads, a shift manager who looks like a Russian truck driver, the idea gnawing away in the back of my head that I just gave two grand to someone who (justifiably) thinks I'm a loser and stupid to-boot.

Because I'm a virgin, my sexuality is stuck in High School and my fantasies very naive. I would be willing to pay for an attractive women to take me through the steps that I should have gone through years ago -- flirting, cuddling, being seen together in public, public displays of affection, etc. The sorts of things normal people go through as their sexuality develops in their teenage years. In fact, as I stated before, I'm not sure I can get wood without spending some extra time. But providers want Johns not boyfriends.

The public image of sex workers is of women who seduce young men, leading them astray with flattery, stroking their ego, pretending to be their girlfriends in order to relieve them of their money. But I have found that not to be the case at all. I wish the scene was that sinful and idyllic.

Any advice for me?

I am an older virgin who was raised in a fundamentalist religious community and am looking to loose my virginity. I would like my first experience to be with a truly attractive and confident woman, which at my age pretty much rules out getting it for free via a hookup.

I visited a house in NV but walked when I heard the prices. I figured I'd just use a local escort for a tenth of the cost. I live in Dallas, shouldn't be a problem, right? But the issue is finding the right provider. There is no way to know if I will "click" with a provider before cash is expected. Most of the best reviewed providers don't want to be bothered with newbies.

From what I have read about hobbying on the RB forum, it is a sorted business with a lot of scams and mutual disrespect -- not exactly sexy good times. So now I'm not sure which direction to go in.

I tried to set up a lunch date without the proverbial desert with a local independent provider, thinking that that might be a way to ease into it, but she flaked on me. All of which leads me to think that providers really prefer to just do their thing, get the money, and avoid anything personal. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But if I'm going to waste money on "dates," I might as well waste money in a legal brothel. Which got me thinking about another trip to NV. The advantage of a brothel is: I get to look at and interact a little with the providers before committing to anything. I have learned from my last trip there and would be a wiser man this time. (e.g. Don't make a deposit on an appointment with a provider who you have not seen.) But due to my inexperience and age I'm not sure I can get wood in that environment -- a seedy trailer park in the desert with ugly red rooms, dirty bed spreads, a shift manager who looks like a Russian truck driver, the idea gnawing away in the back of my head that I just gave two grand to someone who (justifiably) thinks I'm a loser and stupid to-boot.

Because I'm a virgin, my sexuality is stuck in High School and my fantasies very naive. I would be willing to pay for an attractive women to take me through the steps that I should have gone through years ago -- flirting, cuddling, being seen together in public, public displays of affection, etc. The sorts of things normal people go through as their sexuality develops in their teenage years. In fact, as I stated before, I'm not sure I can get wood without spending some extra time. But providers want Johns not boyfriends.

The public image of sex workers is of women who seduce young men, leading them astray with flattery, stroking their ego, pretending to be their girlfriends in order to relieve them of their money. But I have found that not to be the case at all. I wish the scene was that sinful and idyllic. Originally Posted by slim07

... well, this is a tough topic. I'm sure there are many magnificent providers that would be willing to work with you, ofc this is assuming the price is right and you have a well established job to be verified. Your newbie status will cut out a chunk of established providers that don't want to take the risk you're five-O. No illusions: you want something; they want something. Most providers charge you effectively the same if you're BCDs or out to dinner, which makes for an expensive meal. Sure, there might be a few providers that feel sorry for you or like you and cut you a deal, but more than likely, they're still going to expect many $$ for what you're suggesting.

If you're wanting a more mock relationship to grow into your sexuality, including dating, and cuddling for more than a few minutes, I would consider a SB/SD (sugar baby/sugar daddy) relationship. They tend to be significantly cheaper because most SB's don't consider themselves providers or escorts, know that they'll get a bit of business from you as you'll be back reasonably often, and they don't have to get intimate with people they've never met virtually daily. Further, SB/SD relationships tend to be more intimate because you're generally expecting to treat her like a light GF. You take her out to dinner. You buy her a gift here and there. You watch TV and cuddle. Sometimes she spends the night, etc. All that is subject to your negotiations with her. You could get this from a provider, but most are gonna charge you $x15 or more for an overnight, compared to a SB that will literally charge you the same amount for a month, with two meetings per week, one of which is an overnight.

So overall, the provider will make it all about you: what do YOU want her to do to you? What do you want to do to her? Most providers are very good at what they do and are amazing at pleasing you, especially the ones dedicated enough to join a community like ECCIE. But again, they're going to charge you for that.

SBs on the other hand will be far cheaper and there will be more relationship-ness. AS SB/SD relationship often feels more like a real relationship. Some SBs are not very good, but there are some true diamonds out there that will treat you like BF for pennies compared to what a provider would charge you for a similar service.

Overall, I would suggest that if you want a longer term arrangement (especially if you want to start slow with dating and build to BCD activities), go SB/SD (see seekingarrangement.com to find your SB). If you want glorious one night that starts with dinner, goes through cuddling, all the way to BCD activities quickly, see a provider.

The choice is yours. GL.

Your last two paragraphs are right on. You need to be honest with yourself and admit that you are developmentally arrested regarding sexuality and relationships. Your story is not that different than mine, but I had a short lived relationship after high school, but the next 10 years were awash with depression and my own introversion. Last fall I wound up here due to poor experiences with backpage girls who were not on ECCIE or P411.

I really do not believe that you will find the "cuddling," seduction and "public displays of affection,” spontaneity and intimacy that you desire until you establish a relationship with a provider with whom you form a connection and an established history. This will probably take several engagements with different providers and if/when you find a provider with whom you have a connection, this will take more time to develop what you want. It is similar to finding a barber, it takes seeing many before you find the one and after that several visits before s/he knows what you need. Until that point you will spend a lot of $$$$$$$$$ and be really disillusioned at times.

This is my experience and I have concluded that the intimacy that you desire is probably elusive if it can be had at all. I quit hoping for anything and only try to have the best sexual experience that I can. Similar to the Billy Joel lyric "you will be sharing [your] drink called loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone." You also need to remember that sex is a mechanical function so don't blow the experience out of proportion like it will be the ultimate experience in life. But read the reviews here on ECCIE and cavort with the providers and establish a foundation with some of the providers who participate here.

Good luck and don't do anything rash or stupid!

ps
Sketchball and I flirted with Kandy Kelly in the past, she is from Dallas and has great reviews and is really sweet on the boards here. You might contact her, I pleaded with her to come to KC last year! She is a sweet and beautiful young woman.
http://www.eccie.net/providers.php?do=view&id=54336

Sounds like you want to turn the clock back to high school. Easy enough to do. Find a provider that does BBBJCIMNQNS. Then set up an evening appointment. Have her meet you at your car. Drop your pants and let her do her thing! That should prime the pump and you will be on the road to hobbyville! Get that first exciting encounter behind you and you'll be off to the races! Wait till you get to college, you’re going to lose your mind!

First off let me get this straight, you're paying two grand at a brothel? If you had that kind of cash you can get plenty of providers to be your girlfriend for the day. You do have to be screened. I suggest P411. You say you're a virgin and your older with the high school mentality for sex. Do not get taken advantage of. Do not fall in love with the first girl you fuck either.*

I'm curious, how far have you gone? Have you had oral sex? Because according to Bill Clinton, it's not sex. What have you done? This information will help us guide you in not such a destructive path. You my friend are in a pretty vulnerable *state. This sugarbaby route sounds good but I don't think it's good for you right now. You need to be introduced to the V Jayjay if you have not already met?.

Well I typed a reply but eccie fucked up after I pressed the reply, let me use notepad and retype my reply.

slim07 u and I are in a somewhat similar situation barring the religion side.

Sounds like you want to turn the clock back to high school. Easy enough to do. Find a provider that does BBBJCIMNQNS. Then set up an evening appointment. Have her meet you at your car. Drop your pants and let her do her thing! That should prime the pump and you will be on the road to hobbyville! Get that first exciting encounter behind you and you'll be off to the races! Wait till you get to college, you’re going to lose your mind!

Real easy to do SL if the provider does not flake on the client like the one I discussed with you in the past from Austin. I was honest with the provider about my situation and she basically would never go through with the meeting.

Do not fall in love with the first girl you fuck either.. Originally Posted by Salsa man

AMEN!

First, make the Search tab your friend. Life's, and hobby, questions can be answered.

Second, download porn and buy some lube.

If you are not willing to do the proper research always go back to #2.

I was not a virgin but the relationships I did have did not include the extended menu on the sex front at all. Then I went on a massive time span where I could not even get a date or phone number from a woman. So I basically gave up trying so when I started in the hobby it is almost like being a virgin now with the ability of having a menu with anything on it.

Client do not loose their virginity with me... They have taken from them!!!

I would not go the Brothel route. You will have a much better time in a relaxed atmosphere with a sweet lady who will take her time.
Just do some research to find the right one. You will probably have to go with a newbee friendly provider. She will still screen but will use other methods. Be sure to look at her reviews, which brings me to another point, you may want to buy up to premium access so you can see the rest of the story on the reviews. Do some homework in this area and you will be able to find a hot lady who will treat you right.
Good luck and have fun!

Client do not loose their virginity with me... They have taken from them!!! Originally Posted by LadyRed

A well known cherry picker.

Slim,
You're thinking too much. I popped my cherry when I was 15 with my GF who I'm convinced now was bi-polar or manic depressive. Anyway, she was a bit nutty. Like all teenage boys I wasn't looking for romantic walks or cuddling or even a strong intimate relationship. I think this line of thinking may be why you're still a virgin. You live in Dallas man! Just meet a civilian chick and stay cool and don't try to be her BF or anything or find the hottest and most well reviewed provider, lay back and let her take care of you. I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything but you're making this bigger than it needs to be. Once you finally do it and move on to other women you'll be pissed at yourself for waiting. It's not going to be a special moment, in fact you're not gonna be all the good at it for a while so don't think so much and enjoy yourself.

Slim,
You're thinking too much. I popped my cherry when I was 15 with my GF who I'm convinced now was bi-polar or manic depressive. Anyway, she was a bit nutty. Like all teenage boys I wasn't looking for romantic walks or cuddling or even a strong intimate relationship. I think this line of thinking may be why you're still a virgin. You live in Dallas man! Just meet a civilian chick and stay cool and don't try to be her BF or anything or find the hottest and most well reviewed provider, lay back and let her take care of you. I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything but you're making this bigger than it needs to be. Once you finally do it and move on to other women you'll be pissed at yourself for waiting. It's not going to be a special moment, in fact you're not gonna be all the good at it for a while so don't think so much and enjoy yourself. Originally Posted by clitlicker7

The OP has already made an appointment and had a provider flake on him.

How do you think that makes him feel?

I would not go the Brothel route. You will have a much better time in a relaxed atmosphere with a sweet lady who will take her time.
Just do some research to find the right one. You will probably have to go with a newbee friendly provider. She will still screen but will use other methods. Be sure to look at her reviews, which brings me to another point, you may want to buy up to premium access so you can see the rest of the story on the reviews. Do some homework in this area and you will be able to find a hot lady who will treat you right.
Good luck and have fun!

Not being mean towards you but what is the rest of the story going to show the OP but a bunch of sex acts that he does not know how to do while he has not even had sex yet?

I am staying out of this one. See how religion fucks with peoples heads.