Random thoughts from a somewhat warped mind:

I used to pray to God for a bike. One day I realized he did not work that way so I stole one and asked Him for forgiveness.

I was walking down the street and saw my Arab neighbor, Ahmed, on his 2nd floor balcony shaking a carpet. I called up to him: "Whats the matter Ahmed? Won't it start?"

Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage.
Marriage is the price that men have to pay for sex.

Getting married is like getting into a bathtub.
Once you get used to it, it isn't so hot.

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to me: don't and stop. Unless they are used together.

A tight dress is like a barbed wire fence: It protects the premises without restricting the view.

Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

Her job is to bitch....mine is to give her a reason.

Warped but still rational????

What's a woman's favorite kind of cake?

Wedding cake. Because after eating it, she knows she'll never give another blow job.

I was walking down the street and saw my Arab neighbor, Ahmed, on his 2nd floor balcony shaking a carpet. I called up to him: "Whats the matter Ahmed? Won't it start?" Originally Posted by Gentleman

not funny. pretty offensive actually...

not funny. pretty offensive actually... Originally Posted by CRamsey

"Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet."

............not funny. pretty offensive actually...
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not funny. pretty offensive actually... Originally Posted by CRamsey

A terrorist or islamic joke maybe. A magic carpet joke? Not so much.
Although it may be outdated and corny I fail to see what is offensive about it.
I suppose Aladdin is offensive as well? Should "I dream of Jeanie" reruns be banned?

not funny. pretty offensive actually... Originally Posted by CRamsey

Obviously sir, you have sadly mistaken me either for someone who gives a crap or someone who is PC. I am neither.

All to funny, thanks for laugh!