S&M Becoming a Dominatrix

Ladies & Gents,

I am interested in offering S&M on my menu. I want to learn about the dominatrix world. I have always found this very attractive and sensual. Now with that being said I have no clue where to seek information and was wondering if y'all can point me the right way. Or if a Mistress could take me under her wing. I would really appreciate your feedback. I am open minded and very willing to learn. There's just something about it that is such a turn on for me.

Thanks,
AlexOfHouston

PM sent

Thanks I received it I appreciate the info.

They aren't made, they are born....Bubbly won't cut it. Nature makes us what we are and what we are not. You can't GFE and DOM.

They aren't made, they are born....Bubbly won't cut it. Nature makes us what we are and what we are not. You can't GFE and DOM. Originally Posted by jasmin

Not so fast....

I have had the pleasure of seeing Alex and she plays the role of both Dom and submissive very well and her GFE skills are off the charts. So to say that they don't or can't go hand in hand is an incorrect statement. You can practice with me any time you want Alex!

You can't GFE and DOM. Originally Posted by jasmin

I do not agree with this..I switch and am GFE.

Not so fast....

I have had the pleasure of seeing Alex and she plays the role of both Dom and submissive very well and her GFE skills are off the charts. So to say that they don't or can't go hand in hand is an incorrect statement. You can practice with me any time you want Alex!

Originally Posted by spunky

Thanks Spunky I will bring my toys with me next time I visit

Spunky does your name start with a T?

jasmin,

Please do not attempt to derail this thread. This is not a warning, it is a request that will be asked once.

Thanks.
Elisabeth

Ladies & Gents,

I am interested in offering S&M on my menu. I want to learn about the dominatrix world. I have always found this very attractive and sensual. Now with that being said I have no clue where to seek information and was wondering if y'all can point me the right way. Or if a Mistress could take me under her wing. I would really appreciate your feedback. I am open minded and very willing to learn. There's just something about it that is such a turn on for me.

Thanks,
AlexOfHouston Originally Posted by AlexOfHouston

Hello Alex,

First off, I don't agree with Jasmin, but her point is not unheard of in the lifestyle. You first need to ask yourself what kinds of BDSM you want to partake in and offer. There are plenty. Not everyone wants a harsh ballbusting bitch to yell at and beat them. They type of domme you want to be needs to be answered by you.

The term S&M is not all encompassing of what you are most likely going to be asked for. A more expansive and correct term would be BDSM. If you are intending to offer this, you'll need to study up on a few things - technique, theory, practice and safety. Then you'll need to figure out how to apply some of that knowledge to your play style. Are you going to be doing this in hotel rooms? An incall? Do you have a dungeon with equipment available to you for those clients who want that? Etc, etc.

I'd say investigate your local community for some things, find some lifestyle players who are knowledgeable about BDSM for others, and maybe even look into apprenticing to an existing domme (though my discussions with prodommes is that a number - but not all - have no real interest in helping set up a competitor).

If you would like more info please PM me... or search for a few posts I've made here. I have addressed some of these questions before.

What I meant is if you have a naturally dominating personality it's easy, it's in your nature. There are different levels of Doms. It's not as simple as it looks. It's the tiny things that make a dom good. Things such as "aftercare" and lowering your voice when you enter a room. Taking control when you enter the room. There are so many details.

I guess I don't understand why you were so opposed to something that you said crossed your moral boundaries and are now going that direction. If it's for business, do a great deal of research. there are many levels and tools. It's not as easy as taking toys to a session. There is even a wardrobe involved. There are tools of the trade? Are you going to do medical play? If so buy a tens unit. I can only speak for myself in stating that on my part it was a big investment.

I disgree with Jasmin on the can't be both issue, I offer both and do quite well. I can balance both lifestyles, but never mix them.

I do agree with Jasmin that it takes a lot to get started in this business. You need to not only invest a lot of your mind and body into this, but money. Its not cheap and that's why Domme's usually have the higher rates.

I do have some links that I can send you Alex, once I'm back at my regular computer.

@ Jasmin - I guess it depends on if you are relating this to a commercial aspect, or one of a more personal nature. If you are "posing" for a fantasy, it's not at all impossible to put on a mask and become someone else. Actors do it all the time, and many of them can be quite convincing at becomiing someone else. But it's also an act.

If its something more long term, then yes, I think most people would have a very hard time maintaining the false facade of dominance if that is not what they truly are.

Then again, there are many, many posers out there who have no clue and are predators (male and female) who are looking for an easy score or use the lifestyle as an excuse to hurt and steal. But that's always been an issue that the lifestyle has faced (plus at times we do a very poor job of policing and ejecting the predators). That's why it's always great to get reccomendations from others (gee, kinda like the hobby!)

And you are very correct in stating that to do this well, it involves a LOT more than going to your local Hot Topic to pick out a domme outfit, then a trip to the local bookstore to pick up some velcro cuffs for your "serious bondage" rendezvous at the local motel 6 with a client.

@MsElena - The GOOD dommes out there do what you are suggesting - investing the time in gaining skills, equipment and practicing till they know what they can do (the BEST do all that PLUS they do it sanely and safely). I know more than one professional bondage model who has suffered injuries (some permanently) from bondage riggers who said they knew what they were doing but put knots in the wrong places or for too long and caused nerve damage. If you don't want to do that to a client you need to learn how to do it well and safely.

Plus, its just lots more fun for both parties if you can play without risk. Sooo much more fun stuff to do...

It depends on whether you want to swing a whip and get paid for it or if you actually find you enjoy the role of dominant.

If you just want to swing a whip and get paid for it. Find a play space, get about a dozen toys, get some pics with the toys in kinky outfits and start drawing people in. Some will not come back, but some will. I'm sure you will be successful in that direction.

If you actually have some interest in the dominant role, there are a ton of local groups, meetings, parties, and classes which will help you explore that role. Google fetlife and start exploring. You will find what you are looking for. There's great information and people out there.

It's really just a matter of what you really want to do.

Let us know which you want and I'm sure there are several people that can point you in the right direction either way.

Alex,

we shall talk... We can get you there if you have the domme bent in your soul....

PPE