Question For The Ladies and Gents

Here's the scenario:

You have tried to get together with someone for some time, yet for one reason or another (sometimes with no contact) the scheduled appointment did not happen as planned. You have had good conversations and both parties indicate they would like to see one another, but it has not happened as yet.

What conclusion would or should you draw?

Ladies,

If you have not seen someone yet, though he checks out well, how many cancelllations would it take for you to write the guy off and decide to not see him?

Guys,

If you scheduled with a provider and the two of you agree on a specific appointment date and time and do so several times (and she even offers to make it up to you for her past cancellations), how many cancellations, including no calls/no shows, would it take before you write the lady off and choose not to see her?

We all have lives, and things happen. I get that. Yet, it seems to be common courtesy to let someone know if something has come up. And, there are many choices out there, with most hobbyists of any value realizing this and being respectful of one another.

Your insights on this topic are welcome.

As long as he calls well in advance to cancel, I'll keep booking him. Some people really do have insanely hectic lives. Now, if he books and cancels with less than two hours notice, I have a three strikes rule. I look at it like this. If he really wanted to see me, he'd either keep the appointment or call with enough notice to ensure future booking. At that point, I'd talk to him and I may offer him references to providers who are closer to him or that I think he'd like better.

yep, like dharma, two or three times, max.

unless lil delites stages a coup d'etat.

Work schedules suck more for some people than others and when its the clients paying their bills that allow me to afford my leisure activities sometimes I have to cancel.

Reese McClean and I flirted almost continuously for more than two years, PMs, email, txt, phone calls. She lives in Houston and I in NT. She travels up here several times a year. Once she had to cancel, one time I had work commitments and once me daughter had to go to the ER, We thought we were star crossed but tried one more time. OMG we couldn't keep our hands off each other, it was very memorable. We were both spent and I felt bad because we had lost all tract of time, then she asked me if I had to go or could we go to dinner. Really one of the best nights of my life, in or out of the hobby.

Moral, handle it with respect and honesty and maybe the anticipation adds to the experience.

If the date is made and confirmed, and he cancels twice in a row, I'll be very hesitant to schedule with him a third time. I'm not saying I absolutely won't, but I'm going to make sure I have a back-up plan for the evening (even if it's just cleaning my bathroom).

Three strikes, however, and YER OUT!!! Like Dharma, I'll gently but firmly suggest that he might be better suited to seeing someone else -- someone whose schedule is a little more flexible.

I also have little patience for repeatedly inquiring about my availability and then never scheduling. Don't get me excited about meeting you and then go all radio silence on me, you tease.

To me it all depends on a lot of things: how badly do you want to see her, what are your other options, did she have good excuses, was she apologetic, is she offering extra time or a discount to make up for the cancellations, have you seen her before and how reliable has she been for you, how much notice of cancellation, if any, did she provide, and what is your personal tolerance level for scheduling hassles.

As to your specific situation, you seem to indicate that you've never seen her before, she's canceled on you multiple times, and at least two of those have been NCNSs. Personally, I think I'm pretty laid back when it comes to scheduling problems and usually don't let someone running a little late if I've been notified or even the occasional cancellation bother me. But NCNSs are very different from cancellations, even last minute ones, in my book. One NCNS if followed by an acceptable excuse and a sincere apology, I can overlook for the right gal. But, two or more NCNSs seems totally unacceptable.

The conclusion I'd draw from your description is that you and your business are not important to her. From your description, I'd almost definitely write her off and move on to someone else.

I thank God for the gentlemen who have been beyond patient with me. I think I have the definition of a hectic, crazy life. I am a patient person myself and unless I know for a fact that a gentleman is playing games or wasting time, I will continue to schedule as long as he wants to try.

I will continue to schedule as long as he wants to try. Originally Posted by reese foster

I want to try my hand at continuing to try and try and try again!!!!