I posted a blog on this topic and am curious what people here think.
I wonder how many couples are bored with sex in their marriages, simply because it's the same thing over and over again. A friend recently said, "I quite enjoy sex with my wife, but she's absolutely closed about sex outside the box. For example, I enjoy a bit of bondage now and then. She'll swat me with the riding crop I bought and playfully bosses me around a little when I ask. But she just thinks it's too weird to take it any further, like tying me up, like hitting me harder. I'm not asking for anything extreme - just a bit of variety, a little bit of kinkiness. So that's why I end up seeing a dominatrix now and then. I probably wouldn't if my wife was just a little more open."
I think much of what men desire and enjoy in sessions with escorts is available in their committed relationships if partners were just a little more open-minded and willing to explore. Knowing what their men want and acting on it, women might find that they themselves enjoy their sex lives a lot more, especially if they felt open about expressing their own desires.
My friend continued, "In most of my sessions, I have this sense that I can take the session in so many different directions. It's not that providers don't have bounds. In fact, they have plenty of bounds, ones that they often express in their menus on their Web pages. For example, some will say they require a condom for oral sex, or that they don't do anal sex, or that they only do massage and not full service. These bounds, however, are like colors on a painters palette.
"The range of sexual play possibilities within the bounds still feels infinite. That is what is exciting, as opposed to the routine that tends to occur in many committed relationships. If I ask for something unusual, instead of saying, 'That's sick,' the provider will say something like, 'Sorry, I don't do that,' or she might say, 'I'd be happy to do that except for that last part.'"
I've discussed this with a good escort friend. That willingness to explore and to do anything for each other is what she says is essential for monogamous relationships. She says a lot of her clients see her because they want to stay in their marriages, but that their sex lives have gone stale.
Just as providers clearly communicate their boundaries, partners in a committed relationship should be able to explore and articulate their own boundaries. They may be surprised by how much further their partners will go in certain areas than they had assumed. I think there's often a fear of asking. That's the great thing about seeing an escort. You can ask. It's either available the menu or not. She (or he) will never judge you.