It's funny how things change.

A little back ground... I started out submissive to women, only to quickly realize I belonged on top. I later trained under another Domme, but was mostly self taught. I starting practicing as a Domme and loved every minute! I was an elitist Domme who turned her nose up at the thought of switching and reveled in my new found power. *laughs at myself*hehe!! I seriously thought I was better than my subs. What a joke right?!

Until one day, I was sessioning and sweat was pouring from my body as I was physically tired from beating one of my slaves. I began to feel irritated that I was the one physically and emotionally drained from all the forethought, psychological planning, physically doling out pain and playing out this session while he was in a state of fucking zen!! I couldn't reach a dommegasm(that's what I call it) to save my life that day.

It was in that moment, I finally realized that what they said about the bottom really being on top was true! I was so pissed! Here I was, bewildered and crushed that my kinky little belief system had shattered. From then on, all I could think about was submitting. I hung my crop up, so to speak. I did not Domme for along time, but when I did finally session again, I completely let go. I had a couple of glasses of champagne, dominated the session/sub and to this guy's surprise ordered him to top me and it turned into a really insane switching session including full blown gfe which I always kept separate, because we all know real Domme's don't have sex*insert sarcasm here*

I have grown and matured so much in my thinking since I began my journey into kink. For that I will be forever grateful and humble. It is a part of my life that has helped me grow into a better person.

Miss Scarlett,

That was a wonderful read, an insightful glimpse into your personal background and I would not doubt that there are many "pro" dommes that may feel the same way from time to time.

Thanks for sharing!
-SoleMan

I feel the same way as I have matured(another word for aged) I have become more open minded to things that when I was in my 20's I would have thought were wierd. Now I find some of these same things intriguing.

I guess you aren't really supposed to admit those type of things if you are a Domme, but it was so profound that I completely lost interest in being a Domme for a long time. I think I also scared myself at how sadistic I had become. I would get so high from it. I know that's sorta the point, but it made me question many things about myself.

Now I miss it but still have unfulfilled fantasies of being topped. I guess getting old is a good thing, huh?!

I've wondered about my dominant side but the hobby life makes it difficult for ladies to trust a man to tie them up, flog her between the legs while alternating sexual stimulation to her, sort of a tease/denial scenario. I would love to use some of same devices on a woman mixing pain & pleasure for an hour or more and then taking her over the brink to a draining long orgasm.

Sorry, I digress.

I would make a horrible sub. Way too many limits!! That's the problem. I have no problem dishing pain out, but I can't take it or don't like it rather. I think it's just an occasional itch that needs to be scratched with me. It's more the idea of being dominated and possessed in a sensual way. It would definitely have to be someone I trusted and he would have to know what he was doing.

Sorry, I digress too!

i read this and it made me think of a saying one of my Dom friends say regularly if u become to power hungry stop for awhile rethink and regroup and when u finally go back go slow with it not all Doms are complete unless they know their sub is in control from the bottom and yes it takes alot out of u all the planning the getting the toys together the physical exertion of it all is amazing

SR: I remember several years ago, you said one of your dislikes was people who top from the bottom. You have grown and matured and I am very proud of you.

Now we just need to find time to try out those canes.

I still have many canes Ready and waiting!!

Scarlett: I can SO identify with your post. I was into the Dom role many years ago and it finally wore me out. It was truly a task to design the scenarios and be responsible for taking my submissive to what she called "her sub space"....a mental state achieved by the scenarios we designed. These days, I have relaxed my approach to smaller, easier, little "vignettes" that involve more mental prep than anything else. Role playing, posing, etc., are just a little easier to do. I know longer do the furniture, suspension hardware, and all that stuff. Much better to know that it's "all in the mind" anyway.

Haha, I know right. Now I am like, how about we stick to some Goddess worship, tease and denial, with some sensory deprivation and a little bit of impact play? That's low key to me for me these days.

Critical self review caused, thank you Scarlett. (gifted writer wow!)

Realized that Trees fell into well worn rut of starting with gentle then firm massage (me on her, she laying face down with Trees in control to drive muscle relaxation first then erotic massage on her) and allowing session to flow from there. By your engaging, informative and moving account, BAM - - Trees tells self to pick a dom and let go. Whether it takes "getting-used-to" or not it seems worth an effort.

Less not get left behind.

19Trees

Sometimes just what you wear can set the tone you want. Playful things like a collar...corset...body harness...cuffs/anklets, and all that... the ever effective blindfold, and of course, a collection of toys, can create a mood from the onset of a rendezvous. I also enjoy having my ATF in a pre-selected "pose" waiting for me as I walk in. First time meetings between two well experienced and confident hobbyists can also be quite intense if planned well and kept simple and easy.

[QUOTE=Zhivago52;1053200108]Sometimes just what you wear can set the tone you want. Playful things like a collar...corset...body harness...cuffs/anklets, and all that... the ever effective blindfold, and of course, a collection of toys, can create a mood from the onset of a rendezvous. I also enjoy having my ATF in a pre-selected "pose" waiting for me as I walk in. First time meetings between two well experienced and confident hobbyists can also be quite intense if planned well and kept simple and easy.[/QUOTE] If I believed in saying an amen, I would give one here, lol!!


Trees,

Just pick a Domme and let go!! Trees couldn't have given himself better advice!! You are obviously intelligent. You will pick the right one. In the mean time, make a list of limits and fantasies. I think half of kink is communication. If she is intuitive, creative and passionate about play while being an effective communicator, you will have found her Please come back and tell us how it goes!!

Ms. Scarlett,
On that subject....I do believe I recognize that ass in your avatar and while it is an exceptionally fine ass, it is missing one thing.............




A BIG RED HANDPRINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, ok.....back to normal ....whatever the hell that is......now!!!

Spacemtn
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