What can I charge her with?

jmhawk1's Avatar
Very long story kept short...

My Sugar Baby has been having phone issues (now resolved by me). Due to the phone issues, she had been using a "friend's" phone for basic communication, no mention of anything about the relationship or money.

Her "friend" early last week texted and FB messaged me (she doesn't know anything about the relationship, just knows I am a friend) and asked for some money, telling me my SB needs help as my SB was stuck 200 miles away and she (the "friend") needed money for gas to go pick up my SB. I sent her 300$ for gas and spending cash for my SB. The "friend" then continued for the rest of the week trying to get more money from me acting as my SB over text, saying she (SB) needed more money for a new phone. I said no, and gave her a couple options instead, but was declined.

This weekend my SB contacts me (legit) to see if we were meeting. Her "friend" then messaged me and confesses that it was all a ruse and my SB is not aware of anything. She used the money for God knows what, but promised to pay it back by the end of the month.

I met with my SB and got her a new phone on Sunday, so no need to use her "friend's" phone. I also told my SB about it, and my SB is pissed at her.

I sent her a text and message via FB messenger saying I have contacted my attorney and that with the FB messages and texts, I have a solid case. I told her that if I didn't get my money back in 15 days, I would press charges and take her to court, also requesting that she pay my attorney fees if that is the route I must go.

My question is this; what can I charge her with? Theft, impersonation, lying, deceit?

If you have further questions or need clarification, let me know and I can elaborate.

This "friend" had no clue that I have an arrangement set up, and doesn't know that my SB ever receives money or gifts from me. She just knew I was a friend, and successfully gave me a BS sob story....
pyramider's Avatar
I do not know about the "friend" but you should be charged with being a dumbass. What are you going to do when the "friend" calls your bluff?
ShysterJon's Avatar
THAT'S a "very long story kept short"? I'd hate to have to read one of your "long" stories.

To answer your question, you can't charge her with anything because you're not a district attorney (unless you are and you left out that vital fact). Victims report crimes to the police. Police send the results of their investigations to DAs. DAs (or grand juries, in some states) file charges.

Your question, properly stated, is, If someone took money from me by lying, what offense(s) could she be charged with?

To answer this question, we must know what state you live in because criminal law is largely a product of states. I will assume you live in Nebraska because of your reviews.

Perhaps there is a Nebraska attorney who'll answer the question. If not, I may put down The Common Law and do some research.

btw, the entire fucking idea of suing the girl and collecting damages and attorney's fees is ludicrous. You shouldn't watch so much TV and cinema.
ElisabethWhispers's Avatar
...This "friend" had no clue that I have an arrangement set up, and doesn't know that my SB ever receives money or gifts from me. She just knew I was a friend, and successfully gave me a BS sob story.... Originally Posted by jmhawk1
This story just doesn't pass the smell test. I'm not speaking of the original poster, although I agree with the poster above , if this person is a sugardaddy then why is he quipping about 300 bucks and threatening legal action?

I'm just an old sex worker but when I read your story, there were a lot of red flags for me.

Nice that you trust what you're SB tells you so nicely. I don't see this relationship lasting. You got played. Or maybe you didn't.

But all of that back and forth phone happenings and then one friend just had an idea that you would send money to a stranger?

Which is probably why you're screaming that you're going to sue and making threats.

What about the clean hands law?

Is there that? (I watch TOO much Judge Judy!)

Anyway, best of luck to you. And I know ... I'm sounding like (somewhat) a bitch this evening.

Hugs,
Elisabeth
chicagoboy's Avatar
What about the clean hands law?

Is there that? (I watch TOO much Judge Judy!) Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers
Judge Judy would be the ideal way to resolve this matter.
ShysterJon's Avatar
There's no "clean hands law." There's a defense to a civil suit called the "clean hands doctrine" which provides that the plaintiff, to recover from the defendant, must have not engaged in unfair conduct -- that is, have "clean hands" or not have done anything wrong regarding the subject matter of the claim. Example: A former partner sues on a claim that he was owed money on a consulting contract with the partnership when he left, but the defense states that the plaintiff tried to get customers from the partnership by spreading untrue stories about the remaining partners' business practices. The partnership can contend that the plaintiff shouldn't recover because he has unclean hands.

With that being said, how does the doctrine apply here? I don't see it.
jmhawk1's Avatar
Thanks for all the replies! I am in South Dakota, that is the state it happened in.

So, it looks filing a police report is the way to go from what I understand.

For the record, it's just the principle of it. I enjoy the "fight" of it. I truly don't care about the money, but I want to let the "friend" know I'm serious. I want her to know that she messed with the wrong guy.

My SB is trustworthy, or at least as trustworthy as she can be in our arrangement. She knows I won't put up with any shit. We've done overnights at my place with no theft, and she doesn't ask for money from me. I trust her enough because she has proven herself with me. It doesn't mean that she may not be part of this, but she wants her "friend" to deal with the consequences, so I don't think she's involved. As far as my SB having to be questioned, she would be fine with that.

I appreciate all of your comments, and I truly don't take any offense to the bashing! Haha! I'm glad to have this resource available, and understand how it looks from the outside. I can see the oddity of the situation, just want to go back to her with some correct ammo. I truly think I will press this matter forward, but want to insure that I am doing it correctly.
jmhawk1's Avatar

Nice that you trust what you're SB tells you so nicely. I don't see this relationship lasting. You got played. Or maybe you didn't.

But all of that back and forth phone happenings and then one friend just had an idea that you would send money to a stranger?

Hugs,
Elisabeth Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers
She also did it to another person, but fessed up to my SB about that one, but lied about the amount to my SB (less than what I paid). There may be more, but two got suckered for sure.
The "friend" has no idea that my SB knows anything about it, so I can threaten to use that too.
Brooke Wilde's Avatar
No. No police report. No, no, no.

The term we use when something like this happens in the "hustle world" (which is what you are in, please don't kid yourself) is:

"CHARGE IT TO THE GAME" ... PERIOD.
SamHouston's Avatar
Come on hawk...you must be kidding
jmhawk1's Avatar
Alright, general consensus is just walk away. Got it!

Thanks for the answers everyone, it is appreciated!

Happy hobbying everyone!
ck1942's Avatar
When I started reading the op's post, the first flag was text and mail messages and zero open voice to voice communication.

Easy to hack a phone to text, ditto an email and even FB.

Been there done that and now always reply to such requests with "call me!"

Yes, charge it to the hobby very good advice.

Popo reports disclose very personal info! Beware!
GameChanger's Avatar
I agree with the advice from others to just walk away from this. You should encourage your SB to drop this person from their life. That would be good SD advice. You might go as far as to require that your SB cut ties with this person if she wants to continue her relationship with you. It's your call how far you want to take it.

For anyone who is determined to go after another person for a few hundred bucks in order to make a point, the most cost-effective way I have found to do that is small claims court. I'm not sure how it works in South Dakota, but there should be some small claims process available to you there. I filed a claim without a lawyer by filling out a short form describing how much I was seeking and why, and mailing it in to the court with a small filing fee. When the other party received their notice in the mail with a court date, they contacted me and agreed to pay most of what I was seeking in exchange for me dropping the claim. I got my money and sent in another simple form to drop the claim. I don't recommend this for the situation described in this thread, but it's an option.
goodman0422's Avatar
I would also consider that your SB may be complicit.
Somehow the friend knew you would send money to help your SB.
Did she just figure it out? Possibly.
Is your SB lying when she said her friend doesn't know? Probably.

At the very least I would consider she may not be as trustworthy as you believe. Make sure you don't set yourself up to be taken for an even bigger ride.

Good luck
tia travels's Avatar