One guy's perspective on 16 years in the hobby . . .

Ok, I've been thinking of writing this for a while, and finally started to do some typing. I'm not 100% *why* I decided to write this . . . been a bit introspective as I'm getting older, I suppose. If this kind of post is unwanted, inappropriate, in the wrong forum, of if the Mods just don't like it, feel free to move or delete it.
First of all, this is just one guy's set of experiences and opinions - I do not by any stretch of the imagination presume that my experiences and opinions are fact or the only version of reality out there. One of the great things about this existence of ours is that we can occupy the same physical planet, have similar experiences, and have (sometimes) dramatically different perspectives on things. This post isn't intended to alter your opinions or perspectives. I'm just sharing mine.
Second, I don't feel the need to defend what I'm writing here. This is what I've experienced, this is what I think. Simple as that.
So, with all of the qualifiers out of the way, here's my story. I have been hobbying since 2000. I first started doing so on a business trip with some peers. Since then I've had over 100 hobbying experiences - from strip clubs to massage parlors, incalls, outcalls, independents, agencies, etc. I'd say about 40% of my experiences have been at massage parlors, as I like the familiarity with the process and knowing what to expect. I also occasionally get a decent massage out of it. And call me "in touch with my feminine side", but I think the massage process is pretty sensual.
I travel a bit for work and have hobbied all across the US and in foreign countries while traveling for business purposes: Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego, Deer Valley, Salt Lake City, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Scottsdale, Colorado Springs, Omaha, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Chicago, New Orleans, Detroit, Indianapolis, Cleveland, Columbus, Dayton, Cincinnati, Florence (KY), Nashville, Memphis, Birmingham, Atlanta, Pittsburgh, Charlotte, Greensboro, Charleston, Atlanta, Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, Boca Raton, Tampa, West Palm Beach, Washington D.C., New York City, Boston. I'm probably leaving off a few smaller towns, but those are the domestic locations. Internationally, I've hobbied or "mongered" (as the Brits would say) in Toronto, Montreal, Niagra, Monterrey (MX), Rio de Janeiro, Sao Paulo, London, Paris, Rome, Istanbul, and Manila. That's about as comprehensive of a list as I can come up with. That list isn't intended to be a "look at me" thing - just a bit of background for what I write next. I'm not saying I'm an expert, but I've had my fair share of varied experiences in varied locations.
Some of my opinions and personal lessons - these may or may not apply to you - in no particular order, just typing stream of consciousness as I'm thinking:
-this hobby is expensive; by my estimate, over the last 16 years I've spent north of $25k; that works out to about $1,500 per year, which isn't a huge amount on a yearly basis (I know guys who spend more than that golfing, drinking, gambling, etc.) but it is a meaningful amount of money (to me)
-I've hobbied as a single guy, a guy dating, a guy engaged, and as a married man; hobbying definitely has altered my perspective on relationships, women and the sexual act . . . some changes are probably ok, other's not as good (for my own mental health); when I started, hobbying was exciting, provided variety, and as a person who had grown up in a strict religious household, was a way of completely flushing that upbringing; over time it became more about doing something fun, having something to break the boredom of business travel, and giving myself a "treat"; lately hobbying feels less like fun, and more like work (due mainly to all of the prep/research I do)
-I've found that over the years, my anticipation of the actual act with a provider almost always was more positive than the actual act
-of the 100 or so experiences I've had, I'd say 8-10 were really bad, "what the fuck just happened?", 8-10 were "holy shit that was awesome" and the rest were in the middle
-the providers I have met in the hobby really are varied; for the most part (and this may be a result of my price-point, my selection process or just bad luck) I find that at least half are not on time, tend to be a bit flaky and have problems going on in their lives -- maybe they're providers because of these things, or maybe being a provider has this effect on them? Not sure. But there are few jobs where you can just "show up" do your thing, when and how you want to and get away with it. If you're female and hot, being a provider probably provides that option for some ladies.
-for the most part I have learned that photos taken at weird or odd angles or that are cropped oddly are done so to disguise a physical flaw; as a general rule (there are always exceptions) her photos are the best she's going to look; beauty is in the eye of the beholder - one reviewer's opinion that she's "hot" shouldn't outweigh your opinion of her pics
-review boards *are worth it*; (black dude in a wig showed up at my hotel room door)
-I have learned to pay up money if I can; going cheap (unless in a foreign country where the exchange rate works in my favor) almost is never worth it; domestically, I can count on three fingers the number of times that I went cheap and it worked out well (the provider was hot and/or skilled)
-in my opinion there is no such thing as "safe sex" with a provider . . . there is safer sex, but if you like BBBJ (as I do) you're exposing yourself; condoms can and do break (I've had two condoms break while getting FS . . . talk about a moment that makes you reconsider what you're doing!)
-in my opinion, if you hobby long enough, you will eventually end up with a STD; either via BBBJ or when a condom breaks; hopefully it won't be HIV or herpes
-I get tested regularly; maybe every 120 or 180 days; there's no sense in not knowing if I have (or don't have) something
-if you're paranoid like me, the whole "do I have an STD" thing will fuck with your head; every time Icatch a cold, get a cough, have some slight discomfort while urinating, have a rash, I'm thinking "did I catch something?"
-variety is the spice of life (for me); I've only ever seen the same provider multiple times, three times
-I have a professional/personal reputation to protect, so I don't hobby in my home city; I drive at least one county (sometimes two) away and hobby there; if anything bad happens, it will be less likely to reach my employer or friends
-I don't hobby locally and if I did, I'd refuse to use a local Agency; many (most?) agencies eventually get busted by local law enforcement, and if that agency has a verification process, there's a good chance my name and contact info will be in their files/PC/phones
-I don't use my primary cell or work cell or phone # while hobbying; I have used either a google voice phone #, the Burner app, or a totally separate phone to do my hobbying; I do the same with email - using a disposable email address
-there have been a couple of times where I've found myself in a situation that doesn't feel right . . . sometimes I've stuck it out, sometimes I've bailed out; in retrospect, I could have found a better situation or a different provider; it wasn't worth the risk to push things in a bad setting; this applied in particular in a bad part of town or in a foreign (developing) country
Well, that's about it. I'm getting older and find myself less, and less interested in pursuing this hobby. I don't know that I'll ever go "cold turkey" . . . because sometimes I just need to fuck a hot provider . . . but I've certainly dialed things back as of late.
My two cents.

Great post, JC! I'm only about a month into hobbling, hearing about your experiences is quite useful. You highlight both the good and the negative about your experiences, and I appreciate the balance.

While I've had a great time with the few ladies so far, I'm still on the fence if I want to continue, and if so, how active I should be. Overall, it has been quite addicting so far.

Total agreement.

Just-In-Case 70"

Thanks for that deep sharing. Hits many/most of my Hobby data-points, but my frequency is way lower and I am steppingout less and less often.

Cheers

Nice, man. I still want to hit up Rio. Those Brazilian girls. And Paris.

Don't see hookers just JACK IT.

This is my perspective. I am in my 11th year of "mongering" and have seen 70+ providers and had 150+ sessions. I only see well-reviewed ladies or ones that have been specifically recommended. As a result over 90% of my sessions have been very positive and probably half have been excellent. Perhaps I am easy to please but I think being selective helps.

I live in a large metropolitan area and do 99% of my sessions within an hour's drive and most generally within 30 minutes. I have seen two women 17 and 12 times respectively but they are the exceptions. But there are a number of women who I have seen 3 to 5 times, but there are a lot of one and dones. While I may be picky I also can be fickle and have the urge for strange.

The hobby has become more expensive and cost has become a concern. Many quality girls are in the $400 to $500 range and want 90 minute minimum sessions. That requires careful fiscal planning and reduced consumption. Or a change in my MO since there are agencies that may be more affordable than independents.

I only see full GFE girls. I favor thinner and younger girls, but too my surprise many of my favorites had MM's but not so much recently. Smart girls tend to be sexy girls so I favor them. We often share respectful but distant fondness since I do not trouble them with messages unless it is for business.

Like the OP age has dimmed but not extinguished my ardor. ED is a sporadic concern but it makes success sweeter. Overall this life style has been an important part of my life and has brought great but transient joy and energy to me. I can see it ending but not without a struggle since it does make me feel young and alive.

Agree with all since I have been in hobby for many years and could not began to know how many ladies I have met. My thing now seems to be to find young ladies I have not seen and experience that first time thing. I have several regulars over the years but really enjoy a new experience. Have thought about retiring but then some young beautiful lady comes to town that is full GFE and I cannot seem to refuse. It is fun and keeps me young but it is expensive but hey we may not be here tomorrow. I tried the real world ladies that give it free but the money and time we spend to get there is not something I enjoy. I am not married but donot think I would be satisfied with the same lady every day and then have to make her happy.
Just Me.

Thanks for sharing

Nice read

Thanks for all of these perspectives. Any close run-ins with LE, and if so, what you might have learned from those experiences to be safer in the future?

No, no real run ins with LE. I'm a pretty careful/paranoid person when it comes to that though. When I opt for outcall (she comes to me) I go through a very specific routine that involves not being in the room when the provider arrives and essentially "stake out" the lobby and watch the provider come in just to see if anyone is with her. Having said that - I've never had that technique "pay off" . . . though I am pretty sure that it paid off one time when I had an appointment with a provider who no-showed and instead there was a guy lurking in the lobby/hallway on my floor. I can't be sure, but I think the deal was that he was going to jump me . . . but that could just be my paranoia talking.

Great post!!...and boy does it hit home!!

I've been doing this for about 15 years.

I used to go for any affordable provider who was at least reasonably attractive and "my type"


The last couple of years though I've gotten very very picky about who I decide to see... and while I'm hobbying a lot less the quality has been very much higher and frankly I like it that way.

Like you, I travel with work and hobby in cities other than my own....I did see a couple of local girls when I first started and quickly decide that this was the equivalent of "craping in my own yard" so to speak!

And like you I've seen about 80 to 100 different girls over the years (hard to remember them all) and can think of about 15 that were very good sessions and maybe 5 that where outstanding with the rest being "okay" and a handful being terrible....experience has taught me how to weed out the terrible ones so I haven't had any really bad experiences the last few years.

My best experience by far was with a young woman who really wasn't even a provider....she was a young woman who had moved to Houston Tx with her young daughter to start a new job....the job fell through and she was broke and not able to find work.

As it turns out...two "friends" she met at the complex she was living at were providers and when she was crying to them about her misfortune one of them broached the subject of what they were doing for a living.

At first she was shocked but desperation has way of pushing a persons hand and her friends said they would set her up with a customer and if she hated it she didn't have to do it again but at least she'd have a little cash for food and gas.

That customer turned out to be me....and probably good that it was me....this young woman was totally unfit emotionally to be a provider....absolutely uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with a stranger for money...

I figured out what was going on as soon as I met her....it took some coaxing but finally her story came out....Finally I said; so, do you want to try it??? I'm a really nice guy (and I am) I'll be gentle and try to make it as good as I can for you...I'll make love to you like i'm your boyfriend and I wont try to get you to do anything that your not comfortable with.

I rubbed her back and talked to her sweetly telling her how beautiful I thought she was...and she was in fact a very beautiful girl....and with a bit of patience this turned out to be the best time I've had before or since....

She and I clicked and we kept contact for a few months and finally left the state and moved back home....her provider career lasted exactly 3 sessions....She told me the 3rd time was sooo bad! She said he was ugly and rough with her and when she was giving him a blowjob he stuck his fingers in her ass and pussy at the same as far as he could and it hurt like hell! ......she just was not cut out for being a provider.

Four years later I still think about her and wish I could see her again....honestly...I would love to date her outside of the hobby...she was just a really nice girl!

Here's the review I wrote for anyone interested.

http://eccie.net/showthread.php?t=814610


STD's....yep who hasn't worried about that!! honestly though...I've never caught so much as a cold hobbing!

Perhaps something that I learned at a Nevada brothel 15 years ago has helped....the one time I went to a brothel...before we got started the girl took me into the shower and thoroughly washed my junk and her crouch front to back with Betadine surgical scrub..

She told me that a state doctor that checks all the girls every few weeks told them that they should do this before seeing every single client and that it would reduce STD's a lot...and apparently it worked because she told me that since they had started doing this about 3 years earlier not a single girl had caught anything!

When I got home I did some research and it turns out that Betadine Surgical scrub which is what they prep your skin with before surgery is whats known as a "tamed iodafor" and kills everything...virus's, gram negating and gram positive bacteria, yeast etc.

So now before a session I always have my own bottle of Betadine and thoroughly wash myself afterwards and gargle well with Listerine (20% alcohol)...."knock on wood" but as I said...I never caught so much as a cold!

Thanks for all of these perspectives. Any close run-ins with LE, and if so, what you might have learned from those experiences to be safer in the future? Originally Posted by orlyo

Always rehearse a reasonable story that an innocent person would use..otherwise, STFU.

I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs but boy am I hooked on the hobby. Wish I grew out of it but not having much luck