Two roads diverged in a wood..

1thatgotaway's Avatar
How did you get started?

We have all found a home in this little community and I was wondering what roads led us all here. I'm not just speaking of Eccie but the hobby in general. As crazy as it sounds I found myself here in a last ditch effort to save my marriage (or at least our sex life)...

I married young and without much worldly experience. So when we had problems in the bedroom I decided it was my fault. I needed to figure out what I was doing wrong. So I started reading. Everything from how-to's to quasi-medical text. I learned all the female sexual response theory I could find. I discovered that feminists seemed to know the most about their vulvas then anyone else (lets face it those womyn have a lot of love for the lady business{one book identified 18 parts of the clitoral network[sorry to bury parenthetical elements it is a bad habit of mine]}) but are also the most difficult to read. The entertaining ones usually contained the least amount of useful information but still worth the time. I read and studied like I had never done before (apparently a fondness for the subject matter plays a key role something I never found in school) I was going to be great I thought. At this point I was presented with the great conflict between "theory" and "practice". The difference between "theory" and "practice" is that in "theory" their is no difference, but in "practice" their is. (not an original thought, but I don't know the source) I was well versed in theory. It just wasn't working in practice. The second phase of my journey started with the realization that I need more help. Books alone would not close the gap. I needed a tutor or at least an advisor. The first lady I saw seemed a little surprised when I said "I'm here to learn. I not looking for sunshine blown up my ass. I would rather have constructive criticism and suggestions". I later came to the conclusion that from my perspective I could have very enjoyable sex with a stranger because the sex didn't have to be linked to deeper feelings. It could be linked and would be even better if it was, but it was not required. For my wife it was a key element without passionate love it was nothing. So as we grew apart our passionate love faded. Just like the sex. That was years ago. I couldn't fix what I had, and have moved on. I have met some really interesting and wonderful people in this world, and my life has been changed for the better because of it.


What road led you here?

~1TGA
fawn's Avatar
  • fawn
  • 05-13-2009, 08:30 PM
well what brought me here is: i lost my husband 3 years ago of 21ys of marriage, i lost our house and my life...my son needed and wanted to go to college for football so we moved to the trinity school district so he could be seen and it payed off well during the football seasons i meet kirby layne (arlissa) working under the bleachers and selling football articles she asked me what my story was and i told her and she said she could help me get out of the hole and back on your feet.....and I am thankful each and every day and not just for the cash aspect because i have meet so many wonderful men that have become true friends to me....providing has changed me in alot of ways and most for the better....and i have to thank you men for that....and there are a few ladies that have
become very good friends of mine.....so thank you to the hobby world for all my new found friends.....so this is how i made it to here and now.....
TheGiftedOne's Avatar
Started dating after my divorce and after about 3 years of gals wanting to pick out wedding rings after the second date I found the hobby. That was about 9 years ago. Guaranteed nookie without the strings...