Out of Curiosity...

Hi,
Normally I would not post such a random line of inquiry but I find that I am without the power to resist. Maybe it is a new year and thus the lack of keeping my thoughts to myself escape as did the previous moments of the year's time. So, forgive me if you might find this line of questioning to seem callous or rude as it is not to be taken as such. However, I find that curiosity is stalking my cat and I much prefer my cat to remain alive.

I have been in the hobby for many years now (off and on) and it seems like over the past several years the English language and the grammar which we all learned from our years of education seems to be lacking in today's world. This is not even touching the abhorrent spelling and the improper uses of there vs. their etc. Does anyone else find this to be a travesty? Does it turn you on or off if the provider that you are thinking about seeing doesn't correspond with you in at least the minimally accepted form of intellectual conversational values?

Perhaps I am a bit old school and I am set in my ways, I can accept that. However, back in the old days if a provider didn't show substance and a certain degree of cultural refinement, they seemed to have not made it very far in the hobby and those who did seemed to have far better reputations. The "connections" between the provider and the hobbyists seemed more genuine and there was a lot less drama such as negative reviews and mud slinging coed discussions.

Has the hobby that I once thoroughly enjoyed gone by the way of seedy, quickly made deals like those made in the dimly lit, grimy strip clubs in the back alleyways of your town? It seems like maybe we should try and get to know one another a bit more than we are these days and maybe, just maybe, all of the things that make this little life of ours a hobby will seem more worthwhile.... After all, we all joined it to have a lot of fun in our lives and it seems to me that it is becoming a Jerry Springer episode on a constant basis.

So, am I way off base in wondering if the breakdown in our abilities to speak, spell and understand the general concept of a basic pleasant exchange of the English language could be what is causing the breakdown of our "hobby"?

May all of you have a blessed and Happy New Year in 2014!

Kindest Regards,
Ms. Draven Bishop

Author's Note: If at any point I made an error in spelling or punctuation, I apologize for it. I decided to post this thread while on my phone and if anyone has ever tried to navigate a tiny keyboard, you know how some things get overlooked in the grand scheme of things.

PRP, I think you are spot on.

I believe that how one presents themselves is a representation of that person.

I am so tired of - text speak, poor/no grammar, lack of punctuation.

JFrame,
Thank you for your input. I have found myself wondering why I have been so melancholy and saddened by the deterioration of the hobby that I found so enchanting and I miss the "good old days". Perhaps I was raised differently than the people who are the key players these days.
Am I just getting out moded and should be pretty much viewed as relic? Perhaps....

PRP

Am I just getting out moded and should be pretty much viewed as relic? Perhaps....PRP Originally Posted by PunkRockPrincess

Perhaps not, as others have similar views, and we’re all apparently just as outmoded. And, perhaps there’s also something to be said for playing with, or worshiping, relics.
However, for a silver lining, that stuff does make it easy to determine whom one does not wish to issue an invitation to.

It happened when messages could be sent via cellphone or even before on the Internet.

As someone who is around the same age as most of the young providers, and not yet a quarter century old, I can say without a doubt people who use text speak or poor punctuation/grammar are definitely not high on my list of ladies to see.

If I text a lady, I can understand some shortening but if the whole message is nigh devoid of vowels etc then I'll likely decide to see someone else if given the opportunity. Phones today have autocorrect and word prediction so there's no excuse to send a butchered message.

On the forum here I hold an even higher standard because you have time to sit down and type out your thoughts, then revise what you've put etc. It's not some quick text you need to fire off in a few minutes. Sure grammar and syntax errors can be overlooked bt if u typ lyk dis then you'll need to be a helluva catch to get me interested again.

I'm not really sure what you mean by deterioration of the hobby as I've only been actively hobbying for less than a year, but to touch on the point you made about participants to getting to know each other more, I look at it as she's busy with other clients or something else in her life so why should I bother her any more than I have to? I do make it a point let the ladies know they can text me if they want to when I give them my phone number during out initial contact here.


Again as a young hobbyist I thought I'd throw my hat into the ring and assure you it isn't just the "older" gents that see the importance in the basics of simple communication.

It's not the hobby, it's society in general. I have had to send emails back asking for a translation.

You may be in the minority, but you are not unique. I would say the minority is actually pretty substantial.

Sensuality and eroticism are first and foremost citizens of the mind. What first attracts me to a lady is usually what she says and how she says it—and the quickest turnoff—besides ignoring my e-mail--is her butchering the language. Maybe it is some residual repressed sense of “superiority” as some ladies have accused me of, but I truly don’t think so. I have seen photos of ladies I consider physically beautiful, but after getting one or two e-mail replies from them I have lost all desire to meet them. Conversely, the most obvious common attribute of all my favorite ladies is not their looks, their age, their education—but their ability to charm and seduce every part of me, starting with the mind. And there is no seduction when I have to rerun their words (or word fragments) through my mind multiple times to try and understand what they said.

Thank you for your starting this topic.

Thank you to everyone that has chimed in and shown me that I am in fact, not alone in my way of thinking. It is refreshing to say the very least. I have had to work my regular job for the past few days so I apologize for my lack of timely response. Just to make sure that I was correct, I have actually sat down in front of the computer to type this instead of using my phone just to see if my hypothesis was correct. And I am so hypothesis turns into fact.

When I began to purposely type out words incorrectly, the line appears telling me that it is not spelled correctly. Go figure right? So, there's no reason for the as zx10 says, There's no reason to tpe lik dis. I am left to wonder if it is a lack of division of personal life and "business" or just perhaps laziness on the part of the provider? He actually made another valid point. If it takes forever to respond and when they finally do, it's a butchered text or e-mail, does that mean they are uninterested or too busy? Maybe they have found themselves having to respond out of desperation? I don't know. I don't live their lives but yet, I am left to ponder.

When i speak of the deterioration of the hobby, Like everyone who has posted in my little thread says, It's an issue with society in general. I am able to see that in the texting etc within the lives of my children and I notice their lack of proper use of there and their and your and you're. If you can not tell, It is a pet peeve of mine and I am constantly correcting their use of grammar and punctuation. On the "hobby" side, I see providers constantly using poor grammar and misuse of words, improper use of contractions when they blast themselves out publicly. This is where my feelings of sadness comes from. Do they not know that when potential gentlemen read their postings that the majority of the men who are actively participating are quite intelligent and highly educated? Most would see their lack of etiquette, pronunciation, grammar, etc as a huge turn off unless they are just looking for a "quick fix" and then as we say YMMV. In my opinion, one could surmise that if the provider is unable to use propriety online, they likely can not in the time they are with their admirer. That is tragic in itself.

Old-T has said it best. If you cannot turn on the mind, you cannot properly turn on the body. The biggest and most important sex organ in the human body does not fall below the waistline, it is above the shoulders. I rarely will spend time with anyone who cannot carry on an intelligent conversation as i find myself bored and at that point, I start thinking "Can we just get this over with?". This was a lesson I learned in the beginning of my foray into the hobby and as my experiences and tastes grew, I did as well. As it has been said, "Once you become aware of something, you can no longer go back to that state of ignorance." and I became aware that I was seeking more quality instead of quantity and I have maintained this discipline over the past 12 years. I am glad to find that I am not as alone as I believed that I was and there are people within this underground community that feel as I do. I thank you all for that. Finding out that you enjoy the foreplay that includes an intelligent conversation before the actual act commences does my head and heart good.

Well, I am going to once again, sit back and await any further responses from all of you who have taken the time to respond and of course, welcome any new responses from anyone else. I apologize in advance if it takes me a day or so to reply as I have a paper due in my psychology class and I am a full-time employee and of course, a full time single parent. I wish you all the best of days, the most fulfilling nights and moments of exquisite delights.

Adieu, Mon Ami,
Draven B

I blame it on hip hop.

You are not wrong and pyramider has the best point, this isn't just the hobby.

Some caveats, however: people getting older always have faults with the new habits of the young. An open mind is essential. Good communication is too, and a huge part of the world's problem stem from language barriers. There isn't always a word for what needs to be said.

I've found it necessary to adjust and my writing, when in online forums, has to adjust to the format. I am not saying I do it well. One things the civil rights movement necessitated, and when I say this I truly mean black, brown and white, was the incorporation of the less edjucated into the standards of communication. "Y'all ax Jose," is a sentence that had to be worked into English, and while the standards of tradition grammar might suffer, maybe what results a couple decades from now will be better.

I will say my head is still spinning from this sentence: "Maybe it is a new year and thus the lack of keeping my thoughts to myself escape as did the previous moments of the year's time." I know you apologized in post #2 but your argument is worth the time to represent itself. And I know you're punk but I bet your beauty triples with a smile.

Owed to a Spell Chequer

I halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plane lee marques four my revue
Miss steaks aye ken knot sea

Eye ran this poem threw it
Your sure reel glad two no
It's vary polished in it's weigh
My chequer tolled me sew

A chequer is a bless sing
It freeze yew lodes of thyme
It helps me awl stiles two reed
And aides mi when aye rime

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud
And wee mussed dew the best wee can
Sew flaws are knot aloud

And now bee cause my spelling
is checked with such grate flare
Their are know faults with in my cite
Of nun eye am a wear

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed to be a joule
The chequer poured o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule

That's why aye brake in two averse
My righting wants too pleas
Sow now ewe sea wye aye dew prays
Such soft wear for pea seas

I think women are more beautiful when they can hold a conversation correctly

Owed to a Spell Chequer

I halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plane lee marques four my revue
Miss steaks aye ken knot sea

Eye ran this poem threw it
Your sure reel glad two no
It's vary polished in it's weigh
My chequer tolled me sew

A chequer is a bless sing
It freeze yew lodes of thyme
It helps me awl stiles two reed
And aides mi when aye rime

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud
And wee mussed dew the best wee can
Sew flaws are knot aloud

And now bee cause my spelling
is checked with such grate flare
Their are know faults with in my cite
Of nun eye am a wear

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed to be a joule
The chequer poured o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule

That's why aye brake in two averse
My righting wants too pleas
Sow now ewe sea wye aye dew prays
Such soft wear for pea seas Originally Posted by FlectiNonFrangi