Providers. Do you ever feel like your brain is melting? I DO!!!

WOW I LOVE MEN. I LOVE WOMEN. I LOVE THE HOBBY!!!

But what I can't stand is MEN who act like 12 year old boys. I understand in the principal of wanting quality. Trust me I do. But what really grinds my gears is when a MAN plays games... I swear they are worse then Women.
PERFECT EXAMPLE: DON'T GO TO NEIMAN MARCUS AND EXPECT TO FIND WALMART PRICES AND BRANDS... you go to a classy spot that's what you will find. Classy shit.
I also understand going with a provider that you have never been with before. It's taking a risk. I know. But we providers are also taking an even bigger risk.
Guys hey its real simple. If you like the provider;hey, write a review and move on. If you do not like the provider; hey, write a review and move on. SIMPLE!!!

And OMG I hate those petty questions. What's your favorite color, what school did you go to? Asking me all these dry ass questions. This is so brain picking to me. CAUSE WHY DO YOU CARE? I don't care What you have going. OUR TIME IS OUR TIME regardless of what's going in our OUTSIDE lives.
Goodness and the 500 messages back to back... I know by the 3rd message if we are meeting or not. No other conversation is necessary.
Providers do you get this?

WOW I LOVE MEN. I LOVE WOMEN. I LOVE THE HOBBY!!!

But what I can't stand is MEN who act like 12 year old boys. I understand in the principal of wanting quality. Trust me I do. But what really grinds my gears is when a MAN plays games... I swear they are worse then Women.
PERFECT EXAMPLE: DON'T GO TO NEIMAN MARCUS AND EXPECT TO FIND WALMART PRICES AND BRANDS... you go to a classy spot that's what you will find. Classy shit.
I also understand going with a provider that you have never been with before. It's taking a risk. I know. But we providers are also taking an even bigger risk.
Guys hey its real simple. If you like the provider;hey, write a review and move on. If you do not like the provider; hey, write a review and move on. SIMPLE!!!

And OMG I hate those petty questions. What's your favorite color, what school did you go to? Asking me all these dry ass questions. This is so brain picking to me. CAUSE WHY DO YOU CARE? I don't care What you have going. OUR TIME IS OUR TIME regardless of what's going in our OUTSIDE lives.
Goodness and the 500 messages back to back... I know by the 3rd message if we are meeting or not. No other conversation is necessary.
Providers do you get this? Originally Posted by Deluge Falls

I love a women that just wants to take off her cloths and fuck, wish there were more like you.

IB

do you like pina coladas

Plenty of us think these thoughts and really don't express the annoyances that this type of "job" puts us in.

What completely surprises me is when a man calls, I answer the phone, and he doesn't even introduce himself but starts spouting out activities and asking if I'll do them. "I want you to lick my ass, suck my dick and I want to come in your mouth. Will you do that for me?"

And I'm holding the phone thinking to myself what a complete ass he's being and he probably doesn't even realize it. When I do ask, "Ah, hello. Could you tell me your name, first?" then sometimes the light will come on.

Last week, when I asked a man his name and to screen, he told me something along the lines of his money was his screening and that I could fuck off if I wanted more information from him. I told him that we probably weren't a good match.

I don't mind men offering some small talk. What's your favorite color would probably strike me as charming.

But when I was new, and it took me a few years to "get it", there were men who would start e-mailing me and I thought that they were serious about meeting me. Same thing with I started IM'ing. Then, I realized that these men were bored at work and it provided free entertainment to write back and forth for weeks and years before ever meeting, even if then.

So I'm not overly fond of massive back and forths or anything. Because of the insisant questions, answers, flirting. Sex talk. Crap. If you wish to meet, then meet with me. You don't need to do much more going back and forth.

Yes, it's maddening but I've long ago figured it's part of the business.

My main issue that probably ticks me off more than anything is a guy not thinking that I'm an actual and real woman. They think that even when I'm at home, watching television or reading a book, that I'm still wanting to talk dirty to them. Or that I wouldn't appreciate just an e-mail saying hi.

With plenty of my clients, it's really not all about sex. So I get that a lot of the people that I see wish to know me better. I wish to know them better! I like getting to know the person beyond the cock, if you will.

Sometimes, though, questions from strangers feel really invasive. They'll ask really personal questions and if you do not answer them, they get upset with you. Some of my friends will give answers that are lies. But I don't do that, mainly because I don't wish to have to remember what I've said.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this hobby of ours as well. It's the way that I live. And there are plenty of annoying aspects to it.

What I attempt to do for myself, is know that all jobs hold certain annoyances and have problems. This one isn't different.

And sex work is REAL work! (From an old activist button that I used to have!)

Elisabeth

I am going to partially agree and partially disagree with your original comments.

I completely agree that any flood of e-mails numbering in the 100s, or even in a dozen, is excessive. I also agree that men who unduly pry into a lady’s personal information should not do so. Men who try to turn a first date into a romance are wrong.

Where I suspect you and I disagree is in the definition of “unduly”. Quite honestly, comments like, “And OMG I hate those petty questions….CAUSE WHY DO YOU CARE? I don’t” are a huge red compatibility flag to me. I am not implying in any way that you aren’t an honest, quality provider—but I am saying that you are probably not the kind of lady some of us look for. One of the biggest reasons for poor sessions is an assumption by both men and women that everyone here is looking for the same thing. We are not, and that can often lead to a mismatch in expectations. You are not wrong, the lady I spent this weekend with is not wrong, but the two of you appeal to different men.

I don’t know if it is a true reflection of your personality and expectations, but your post—and it’s always dangerous to read a person based upon one post—seems to paint you as a lady who prefers men who are appreciative, skilled, but focused. A man who appreciates beauty, talent, and enthusiasm—but you prefer he keep his mouth closed unless he is moaning or in the middle of DATY.

Nothing wrong with that perspective, but that is not what some of us are looking for. We may be (probably are) a minority, but there are more than just a few of us. My typical evening date is three or four hours including dinner at a nice restaurant. I am a bit older, so even with the sexiest woman who ever lived there will be noticeable amounts of conversational time in between the condom moments. And in those times I absolutely am looking for a lady who not only can engage in pillow talk, opinionated talk, and substantive talk--and also is willing to. Yes, I often ask what her interests are in life because I DO care. Finding some shared interests be it music or cooking or archeology makes dinner conversation and lingering bedroom conversations far more enjoyable. Or what she studies in college, but of course never where she went to school or a list of her professors. Or what kind of food she likes so I can be on the lookout for the appropriate restaurant the next time. I have been with some incredibly stunning ladies who were both polite and also physically quite gifted but I had no desire to see them a second time because I felt there was a ten foot thick steel wall in the middle of the room. I could touch their naked body but their real persona was far away in another place. I have also been with some ladies who have been wonderful companions and friends for many years and I still have no idea about the real name or what city they live in—but I know her views on global warming, what’s on her “must read” list of books, Syria, and which art museum she is most likely to enjoy. By the way, “what is your favorite color” really IS a vital question if I plan on bringing her some handmade earrings from a Hopi silversmith.

I am NOT saying my view of things is better than yours, or that you should change one single thing you believe. I am not saying you shouldn’t post what you posted—I actually wish more guys and ladies WOULD express their views on such opinions because then it is easier to find likely compatible matches which lead to much better experiences for all. I guess what I am asking you to think about is the diversity of expectations in this business and not to fall into a mass generalization that says the world is starkly black and white.

It all comes down to communicating during screening—not only for safety but for likely compatibility.

Lovely.

Well said Old-T

Elisabeth,

What's your sign?




Deluge,

500 texts is the sure sign of one sick M-F'er. Run like hell, block the caller and have a glass of wine. JMHO.


Huck

I am going to partially agree and partially disagree with your original comments.

I completely agree that any flood of e-mails numbering in the 100s, or even in a dozen, is excessive. I also agree that men who unduly pry into a lady’s personal information should not do so. Men who try to turn a first date into a romance are wrong.

Where I suspect you and I disagree is in the definition of “unduly”. Quite honestly, comments like, “And OMG I hate those petty questions….CAUSE WHY DO YOU CARE? I don’t” are a huge red compatibility flag to me. I am not implying in any way that you aren’t an honest, quality provider—but I am saying that you are probably not the kind of lady some of us look for. One of the biggest reasons for poor sessions is an assumption by both men and women that everyone here is looking for the same thing. We are not, and that can often lead to a mismatch in expectations. You are not wrong, the lady I spent this weekend with is not wrong, but the two of you appeal to different men.

I don’t know if it is a true reflection of your personality and expectations, but your post—and it’s always dangerous to read a person based upon one post—seems to paint you as a lady who prefers men who are appreciative, skilled, but focused. A man who appreciates beauty, talent, and enthusiasm—but you prefer he keep his mouth closed unless he is moaning or in the middle of DATY.

Nothing wrong with that perspective, but that is not what some of us are looking for. We may be (probably are) a minority, but there are more than just a few of us. My typical evening date is three or four hours including dinner at a nice restaurant. I am a bit older, so even with the sexiest woman who ever lived there will be noticeable amounts of conversational time in between the condom moments. And in those times I absolutely am looking for a lady who not only can engage in pillow talk, opinionated talk, and substantive talk--and also is willing to. Yes, I often ask what her interests are in life because I DO care. Finding some shared interests be it music or cooking or archeology makes dinner conversation and lingering bedroom conversations far more enjoyable. Or what she studies in college, but of course never where she went to school or a list of her professors. Or what kind of food she likes so I can be on the lookout for the appropriate restaurant the next time. I have been with some incredibly stunning ladies who were both polite and also physically quite gifted but I had no desire to see them a second time because I felt there was a ten foot thick steel wall in the middle of the room. I could touch their naked body but their real persona was far away in another place. I have also been with some ladies who have been wonderful companions and friends for many years and I still have no idea about the real name or what city they live in—but I know her views on global warming, what’s on her “must read” list of books, Syria, and which art museum she is most likely to enjoy. By the way, “what is your favorite color” really IS a vital question if I plan on bringing her some handmade earrings from a Hopi silversmith.

I am NOT saying my view of things is better than yours, or that you should change one single thing you believe. I am not saying you shouldn’t post what you posted—I actually wish more guys and ladies WOULD express their views on such opinions because then it is easier to find likely compatible matches which lead to much better experiences for all. I guess what I am asking you to think about is the diversity of expectations in this business and not to fall into a mass generalization that says the world is starkly black and white.

It all comes down to communicating during screening—not only for safety but for likely compatibility. Originally Posted by Old-T

A man after my own heart. We are kindred spirits.

I bet both ladies expect the fucktards to shower prior to arriving at the incall, too.

I bet both ladies expect the fucktards to shower prior to arriving at the incall, too. Originally Posted by pyramider

My ATF might expect it but she sure doesn't trust me to do it well. She usually insist that I get in the shower and show her my washing technique while she climbs in to give it a very close-up inspection.

Count me in as part of the "minority" that thinks like Old-T. I don't need specific personal info (name of the college, name of your professors, etc) but I do like to ask and get general information from the ladies I see. Their views on fashions, do they like cutting edge or are they more "retro" in their likes, helps decide what kind of clothing or accessory present I bring if I enjoyed my time with then enough to want to bring a present next time.

While I have no doubt the OP is a wonderful provider, has many fans and is simply expressing her own views as she has a perfect right to, I'd say the things she doesn't want to share, would make me a bit more cautious about setting up an appointment, because I much prefer spending time with a lady I can talk to, in between.. how did Old-T put it.. "condom moments"? (that's a classic, I'll have to copy and attribute that.

Isn't the whole point of hobbying, that we don't need to know anything more then the desire.
Maybe it's just me.

IB

Isn't the whole point of hobbying, that we don't need to know anything more then the desire.
Maybe it's just me.

IB Originally Posted by Iron Butterfly

The point is that each hobbyist, through proper research and diligence can find a provider that offers what they are looking for. If all you want is someone to "expend your desire" on and not learn anything about them, you can find that.

If I want so know a bit more about the provider so we can have a nice conversation in between romps, I can also find that.

Neither of us is "right" or "wrong".. we just have different desires and can find the lady or ladies that fit what we seek.