Gentlemen (and ladies) don't ignore the signals

Recent experience and a suggestion from a colleague made me decide to start this thread.

Have you ever had that Homer "Doh" moment AFTER the fact and kicked yourself for missing out? Pay attention to your environment and interpret the signs - here's my starter list - please add your own

What you see:
The master-plan is plugged in the wall near the bed -
What that means:
"I want to cum - and you will be well-advised to help me - 'LOW' setting works best."

A pump bottle of hand sanitizer
"Finger my ass all you want, just remember which hand you used, and for gawd's sake - clean up"

She meets you at the door in CFM Heels, mesh hose and black bustier
"PSE Game is ON!!! Ass need'n spank'n, wrists need'n tie'n, throat need'n gagg'n and pent up fluids need'n spew'n"

Costco-sized container of Wet Platinum Premium
"Hope you brought your best blue-veined diamond-cutter, cuz this is a 'wild-hair' day" *

* Some providers don't do some menu items as a routine - one PYT refers to the times when she's in the mood for an Eastern Mediterranean island tour as a "Wild hair day"

I remember when I was married, I had plugged the camcorder up to the big screen, had learned to tie myself up to the four bed posts and was laying there bucked naked when he came home from work. Had the music going, candles going, nice ambiance. He walks in the room, looks at me and asks "what's for dinner?" We divorced not too long after that. Talk about doh!

*giggle*

I thought all women knew we need dinner for energy before you tie yourself up!? haha