Screening & references

Hello all,

Thoughts please on requesting references from gentlemen? I list screening requirements in what I consider a clear manner: P411 or 2 recent references. I also specify that I will need a reasonable amount of time to complete screening. I feel this protects me and the hobby community at large.

What I mean by references: when did you see this provider last (month/year)? How might she remember you? How might I best contact her? Phone/email/pm?

What I frequently get: "I've seen Jennifer at X SPA, and Julie. Can I see you within the hour?"

I can do pretty much nothing with this info, and as such, I can't see the gent within the time frame requested. I'm not going to call a spa number and ask for a provider, as I don't have any reasonable assurance that I'm speaking to the person I asked for. As for Julie ... Julie who? How to even start with a first name?

Ladies, how do you phrase your reference requirements? What works well for you? Any pointers?

Gents, how might I get my query across best, from your perspective? What are your thoughts on the value of screening to the gentleman?

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and contributions! I seek to make a better, more streamlined process for all

Andria Chase

I ask for links to their showcases to ensure I contact the correct lady.

I ask for a link to their ad

Their phone # and email, and something to remember them by always helps since there are a lot of "I saw him last month ago but can't remember-- sorry". I mean what is that?

You could give an example of how to request.

I usually do this for my references now.


My P411 account
My eccie account

Provider Name:
Provider P411 link
Provider eccie link to showcase
Provider Review I posted link

I don't know if that helps, but I figured it might give me a leg up when choosing between two clients and who to screen first.

Brilliant! Thank you all for the feedback. It's most helpful.

Latest adventure in screening: asked a gent for refs, he said "anyone I've reviewed will vouch".

Well now I have to dig for reviews? With a 90 minute window before he wants to meet? Ummmm unlikely! But I tried.

I contacted the ladies and did hear back, albeit some time after the appt time had passed. Got negative feedback, politely declined to see him, and he got upset wanting to know who had said what, lol.

Cherrypickers might do a wee bit of work & send me a contact list! Left to my own devices, I just contact em all & let the chips fall where they may

Really, a lot of gentlemen are on top of the screening, though, & I'm always grateful. Love it when they make it straightforward. I imagine most ladies appreciate your approach, Modus

Brilliant! Thank you all for the feedback. It's most helpful.

Latest adventure in screening: asked a gent for refs, he said "anyone I've reviewed will vouch".

Well now I have to dig for reviews? With a 90 minute window before he wants to meet? Ummmm unlikely! But I tried.

I contacted the ladies and did hear back, albeit some time after the appt time had passed. Got negative feedback, politely declined to see him, and he got upset wanting to know who had said what, lol.

Cherrypickers might do a wee bit of work & send me a contact list! Left to my own devices, I just contact em all & let the chips fall where they may

Really, a lot of gentlemen are on top of the screening, though, & I'm always grateful. Love it when they make it straightforward. I imagine most ladies appreciate your approach, Modus Originally Posted by andriachase

I like ladies who screen. It makes me more comfortable. If they have regard for who they see and for their safety then I feel like I am in good hands.

if a woman lists the info she requires for screening, i follow those instructions [assuming i'm comfortable w/ her instructions]
if she doesnt list it, i ask. again, if comfortable, i follow. otherwise, i reply "thx for your time".

are some guys just so dense that they either a) dont have a clue as what to do or b) think the woman can read their mind??

are some providers just so dense that they either a) dont have a clue as what to ask for or b) think the man can read their mind??

this is not brain surgery or rocket science.
ladies, pls list/describe what you want.
guys, pls follow directions or ask [oh, forgot, guys dont ask for instructions :^)]

I appreciate a gal that will spend a bit of time looking at my history before she sends out the "form letter" asking for a lot of the things you mention. This may sound conceited, but I believe guys who demonstrate they are active on this board through reviews and posts ought to be given some consideration before making us go look up all that information and typing up a response on my mobile keypad.

Most ladies seem to get that, as I rarely get asked to provide a whole lot of information when seeking a first appointment. On those rare occasions when I do get asked, my desire to respond varies depending on the uniqueness of the gal with whom I'm trying to schedule. Sometimes it's just not worth the effort.

Having said all that, I'm also a believer that a lady needs to do what makes her comfortable that the guy is not a safety risk. If she's asking for more than I'm willing to divulge, I just assume it's not meant to be and move on.

We had one come up that sees the same group of girls and he was feeling out other territory. He balked when we asked for his screening, saying he never screens. Well no shit guy, you see the same group of people.

Hey OP, your thread is great. This is excellent info for EVERYONE.


P411 is an outstanding source of info and a safe place for the guys to be screened since it's based in Canada, they will never have to worry.... and we trust them as much as anyone can trust anyone in this business.

Well put TinMan

Screen, screen, screen ladies until you feel safe. And guys if you have a great ref or 2 and the lady makes the effort to contact her (always let your ref know first) it's a win win win.

screening s good for everybody, (last thing married guys want is to get locked ) and same goes for providers , I would think having some references and being on eccie, and or being on p411 would do

What do you do when your last refrence was a couple yrs old ?

Choose someone who is more newbie friendly. For screening purposes that is essentially what you are. That or get p411 if they accept that instead.

Question for the lady's I'm somewhat new to the hobby and didn't want to go the p411 route( I'm retired and they wanted bank info , I didn't feel safe with) I have seen 2 provides in 8 months the last like 3 1/2 months ago. ( wife had operation home for months watching grand kids etc) How long do you reference and is that a issue went you contact providers.