"High" Volume - Contributing to a probem? Applying some semblance of Consience to your Hobby?

I made a comment in another thread and almost initiated this conversation there but decided to just start a thread....

If I decide to see a lady that sees more than a couple a week then that is way too much volume for me.... "I'm gonna want to know a lot more about someone and where the money is going before I spend any on her".... Originally Posted by Whispers

If I know a lady is spinning through a lot of guys....

It does not necessarily make me rule her out.... I spent a lot of time in 2010 wit one of the "Flavor of the Month" Girls to set the scene on fire.. I probably saw her at her peak when she was probably generating far more cash in a month than I did in 2-3 months...

I was able to get to know her before hand though and know that the money was going towards a more upscale lifestyle than most that included lots of personal pampering and trips to other countries in a manner that was extremely expensive.

So it did not bother me that she was known by and talked about by many that were contributing to her financial needs....

At the other end of the spectrum are those that generate the same kind of cash and show little to nothing for it....

Take a young lady for example bouncing from friend to friend for a place to stay, living out of her car in between, two months behind on bills.... yet she generates over three thousand bucks in 20 days..... not a lot of money by some of the ladies standards but she probably did 15 guys getting to that figure....

So 20 days and $3000+ later she is STILL broke, homeless and two months behind on all her bills..... No new clothes, trips, spas. etc to show for any of it... Not even money spent on food or drinks... she has that being bought for her as well....

Most of you say you just do not care about how much volume they do....

I'm not naive and in the above stated example, one all too familiar around here, there is very obviously another problem at play.....

Do you think about it?

If you know about it does it affect you then?

I flip flop on the subject myself at times...... There is one set of logic that I come up with that lets me believe that if it wasn't me she was with for the time I spend with her it COULD be someone meaner, uglier or dangerous.... So I justify it in that she is safe, well treated and can relax....

Then there is the other logic that tells me I simply do not want to contribute a dollar to a problem that large....

Give me a gal with $300 a day Neiman Marcus Habit living in a $2000 Condo blowing $15,000 a month and I MIGHT justify seeing her....

But a gal that can make $100 a day vanish with absolutely NOTHING to show for it? That is a problem that is growing that I do not want any part of....

You think way to much about this stuff...

My head hurts!

I don't really see why it matters where a ladies money is going. Your paying for a service, if you get it and its great then that is all you should care about. I feel that it is a ladies business as to where her cash goes. Just like it's your business where your cash goes.

I don't remember any lady ever asking...."Where did this $$$ come from?"
I'm with Roxanne, it's no bodies business what anybody does with the $$$.. but it could be a factor in deciding whom to see if it effects the session.

Yes I can see if she has a ovbious drug issue, then of course who wants to support that? Not to many I would think. But again, you would think that would reflect in her reviews, in return you could make that choice before going and paying your hard earned money.

Yes I can see if she has a ovbious drug issue, then of course who wants to support that? Not to many I would think. But again, you would think that would reflect in her reviews, in return you could make that choice before going and paying your hard earned money. Originally Posted by Sexy Roxanne

+1

It's really none of my business how she does or doesnt manage her money. Now if I arrive at a fucked up incall and meet someone that is obviously strung out, coughing, etc etc etc. Then I will turn the fuck around and cut my losses. (researching other reviews usually weeds this out before I ever call her)

I really don't put in any thought to fixing anyone, or trying to figure out their life. They are living it. They are the only one who has any say in it. If you are a regular enough to see problems or the other side of the coin/shopping-trips, then you've already enabled them as much or more than most clients which see them maybe once or twice.

Long story short, I make friends with a lot of the ladies here but those ladies that I do know the innermost details of their lives, I don't see BCD/ROS. And I certainly have enough RL issues in my life to invite more.

That being said there is one I see regularly, and I know all about her life and some of her choices. But they are her choices and I have no desire to influence her in any way. None of my business unless she ASKS for advice. Then that's another story like with anyone else I know.

I agree that if you are concerned with enabling a girl's *eccie unmentionable habits* by your continued patronage then you have a moral obligation to YOURSELF to not do something that will make you feel like less of an overall good person. Technically if you see the hobby world as truly just a consumer/merchant situation then other people's issues aren't your business unless it effects you getting your "product" in a timely and cost efficient way without sacrificing too much quality.

I'm a bit curious why you only mentioned spending habits as the most obvious indicator of a provider's *unmentionable* issue without mentioning other well recognized signs such as:

-extreme weight loss/being malnourished and emaciated

-suddenly becoming open to letting people push her personal boundaries whereas before she didn't or if she did before then the provider starts allowing things she didn't previously for less and less compensation...sometimes perhaps even being passed around a group of men for pennies on the dollar just so they can have bragging rights

I guess it all depends on perspective... it's an interesting topic for discussion, thanks for bringing it up.

You think way to much about this stuff... Originally Posted by Wyldeman30

I don't think about or go looking at it or for it.... But as much long as I have been around and as much as I tend to get to know some of the ladies I become aware of things.

When a subject of interest comes up.... I find reason to post some things....

Maybe I think about some things too much...... But in the case of this particular subject... maybe others think about things too little?

Yes I can see if she has an obvious **** issue, then of course who wants to support that? Originally Posted by Sexy Roxanne

Exactly....

Not to many I would think. Originally Posted by Sexy Roxanne

You would certainly think so however at times the same people that stand up and say they would never see a gal being pimped are willing to turn their head to other problems that present the same type of risk to the lady.

But again, you would think that would reflect in her reviews, in return you could make that choice before going and paying your hard earned money. Originally Posted by Sexy Roxanne

I've known a lot of ladies over the years that have had some serious issues while still providing great service... Issues that never made the boards in any fashion.....

I don't remember any lady ever asking...."Where did this $$$ come from?" I'm with Roxanne, it's no bodies business what anybody does with the $$$.. but it could be a factor in deciding whom to see if it effects the session. Originally Posted by nuglet

I wasn't suggesting that people begin to pry.... My question was...... However, when you become aware of a situation.... . Does it affect your decision to see her....

I agree that if you are concerned with enabling a girl's *eccie unmentionable habits* by your continued patronage then you have a moral obligation to YOURSELF to not do something that will make you feel like less of an overall good person. Originally Posted by Reya Sunshine

To just yourself? Not to the lady?

or

Why not to the other guys lining up for the high volume flavor of the month in a hobby of risks where that risk is amplified by a behavior unknown to others?

Technically if you see the hobby world as truly just a consumer/merchant situation then other people's issues aren't your business unless it effects you getting your "product" in a timely and cost efficient way without sacrificing too much quality. Originally Posted by Reya Sunshine

What if that product is manufactured by indentured servants in some 3rd world country?

Personally I tend to apply the Consumer/Merchant approach.....

MOST of the time.... But when I become aware of a problem it does color by decision process..... and I believe it colors others as well.....

I'm a bit curious why you only mentioned spending habits as the most obvious indicator of a provider's *unmentionable* issue without mentioning other well recognized signs such as:

-extreme weight loss/being malnourished and emaciated

-suddenly becoming open to letting people push her personal boundaries whereas before she didn't or if she did before then the provider starts allowing things she didn't previously for less and less compensation... sometimes perhaps even being passed around a group of men for pennies on the dollar just so they can have bragging rights

I guess it all depends on perspective... it's an interesting topic for discussion, thanks for bringing it up. Originally Posted by Reya Sunshine

Walking a fine line as to how we can discuss an issue maybe..... We can discuss all aspects of it if you like....

I think a lot of ladies have a variety of issues that tend to come together and make them cross a line..... But some issues develop AFTER they are across the line as a result of the activities they subject themselves to maybe?

I can think off the top of my head of two ladies..... One a VERY popular Provider that had a presence here for awhile WITHOUT any problems... until the personal guilt drove her to alcohol and other things that increased her need for money... more money increased her bad habits.... eventually she was the definition of High Volume and presented to the community in a variety of problematic ways...... But a lot do not care and would simply schedule with her anyway..... Her problem did not make her a provider.... being a provider created her problem....

In another case I can think of a stripper.... long time Marley Day fan that consumed way too much alcohol at times...... But not all the time.... She simply crossed the line for some extra household cash as business went down......and became one of those...."inexpensive girls getting passed around by guys".... All was manageable for her for quite a while and at a low point in her life she seemed to increase her bad habits...... feeding them through the support of some of us.....

There are those that are here for a wide variety of reasons.....

My question lies in how people react to it when they realize the money they are spending is having a definite negative impact on someone's life....

I did a lot of guilt over this myself over 10 years ago when I felt responsible for something that happened to a young lady I wrote a first review of.... If not me it would have been someone else.... but for a while I couldn't get past it was me...

Regarding the veiled shot you took at myself and my circle of friends that know and share information on gals that play for "pennies on the dollar".... Personally... There are a lot of us that do NOT see $200-$250 for 2-3 hours of a ladies time as "pennies on the dollar". There are men here that do not make that kind of money..... And when dealing with a nonprofessional just dabbling in it... well.... it is not our responsibility to teach them to charge more..... simply because there are others that do......

You realize there are many ladies selling the same product for even less right?

My question lies in how people react to it when they realize the money they are spending is having a definite negative impact on someone's life.... Originally Posted by Whispers

Simple, everyone is going to react differently. for 99% of the providers this is a non issue. Self Destruction inevitably results in good reviews turning to poor reviews turning to bad reviews. That's what this board is about. Indies usually have a better head on their shoulders than agency girls who prefer to give a % of cash away to not have to deal with scheduling than sw's who are every bit a mess.

Every girl is different, and every situation is different. I think that because you run in the stripper world you have the benefit of more conversation can empathize more. I stay away from that drama. If a provider has good reviews, has good communication when I want to see her, then its all good. She needs to run her own life. If she isn't doing that then service, communication, and reviews suffer and she loses business. at which point she can address it, or not.

We're not here to fix people, we're here to fuck them.

I made a comment in another thread and almost initiated this conversation there but decided to just start a thread....

If I know a lady is spinning through a lot of guys....

It does not necessarily make me rule her out.... I spent a lot of time in 2010 wit one of the "Flavor of the Month" Girls to set the scene on fire.. I probably saw her at her peak when she was probably generating far more cash in a month than I did in 2-3 months...

I was able to get to know her before hand though and know that the money was going towards a more upscale lifestyle than most that included lots of personal pampering and trips to other countries in a manner that was extremely expensive.

So it did not bother me that she was known by and talked about by many that were contributing to her financial needs....

At the other end of the spectrum are those that generate the same kind of cash and show little to nothing for it....

Take a young lady for example bouncing from friend to friend for a place to stay, living out of her car in between, two months behind on bills.... yet she generates over three thousand bucks in 20 days..... not a lot of money by some of the ladies standards but she probably did 15 guys getting to that figure....

So 20 days and $3000+ later she is STILL broke, homeless and two months behind on all her bills..... No new clothes, trips, spas. etc to show for any of it... Not even money spent on food or drinks... she has that being bought for her as well....

Most of you say you just do not care about how much volume they do....

I'm not naive and in the above stated example, one all too familiar around here, there is very obviously another problem at play.....

Do you think about it?

If you know about it does it affect you then?

I flip flop on the subject myself at times...... There is one set of logic that I come up with that lets me believe that if it wasn't me she was with for the time I spend with her it COULD be someone meaner, uglier or dangerous.... So I justify it in that she is safe, well treated and can relax....

Then there is the other logic that tells me I simply do not want to contribute a dollar to a problem that large....

Give me a gal with $300 a day Neiman Marcus Habit living in a $2000 Condo blowing $15,000 a month and I MIGHT justify seeing her....

But a gal that can make $100 a day vanish with absolutely NOTHING to show for it? That is a problem that is growing that I do not want any part of.... Originally Posted by Whispers

I see I should have saved my comments in the other thread and read this first. Yes, I know those ladies, too, the kind who seem to always have a problem. They lack proper life management skills, or goals, or a sense of the future. If they didn't learn those skills while still impressionable, there is little that will change them now. And the ones who fall from grace into the gutter do so because some psychological distress hasn't been handled, and cannot be handled by a third party. They must fight their own addictions, whether to money, sex, drugs, alcohol, food, shoe shopping (uh oh), whatever, and their own fears created by past or present events. It can't be done for them. In both cases, it is their lives they ruin or save, so as long as YOUR safety isn't compromised, is there really a reason not to see them? Quite a moral dilemma.

I actually respect you for bringing this up. Most people here don't want to think that hard. It hurts.

We're not here to fix people, we're here to fuck them. Originally Posted by budman33

I was not suggesting we fix anyone...

But an interesting comment......

Aren't you one of those that purport to being sensitive of the "ladies"... not just looking at the business aspect of what they do, treating them as real people with real feelings? That the manner in which I post is rude and insensitive and hurts their feelings?

Well, how can you claim all that and at the same time say "Oh... But wait a minute... She is NOT quite THAT real to me that I give a damn about her having a life threatening problem! I just want my blow and go and a little flirtation online tomorrow!"

Once again I will state I was not suggesting we fix anyone...

Just that it is rather hypocritical and un"humane" to knowingly feed someone's self destruction for your own pleasure....

.....it is their lives they ruin or save, so as long as YOUR safety isn't compromised, is there really a reason not to see them?

Quite a moral dilemma. Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

I agree..... I can admit to turning a blind eye to it a number of times over the years..... refusing to get involved...... A couple of times I did get involved and it can be an emotional as well as financially draining proposition to try to help someone who's life is spinning out of control....

In those times I often wished I had just fucked them and forgot them....

.....it is their lives they ruin or save, so as long as YOUR safety isn't compromised, is there really a reason not to see them? Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

If the continued support by those that think that way takes them from a $50 a day problem to a $100 a day problem to a $200 a dayproblem to a $300 a day problem...... well... it only goes so high before it kills them doesn't it?

Quite a moral dilemma. Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

For those that morality plays some factor with

I actually respect you for bringing this up. Most people here don't want to think that hard. It hurts. Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

ahhh.... But I love to make people think...... Then they respond.... Then I can whack them up the side of their head for some other reason!