Hanging Chads and other horror stories

Hanging Chad:
Synonyms: Grundle weeds, cling-ons, butt bark, The Lone Ranger, crap crumbs
Definition: Stubborn pieces of turd that cling to the anal hairs and refuse to let go.

Ladies, don't you just hate it when a guy leaves skidmarks on your sheets? Or when his balls are covered in sweat-cheese?

I had a dinner date with a provider who excused herself at the restaurant to visit the little girls room. Afterwards, during playtime, she climbed on board for a mustache ride. As I'm licking, I'm finding little balls of toiletpaper in my mouth.

So, in the interest of promoting outstanding hygiene in our hobby world:

Guys? Gals? Give us your hygiene horror stories!

I just un-ate lunch, through my mouth. Time for body lamination

Oh you sweet talkin' wordsmith, grits. You had me at grundle weeds.
Sorry no horror stories to share though- fortunately.

Damn, grits.... Given the title, I thought this was a political thread!

Back in the swinging 80s, when one-night-stands were pretty common, I picked up this young lady at a local watering hole. Very pretty, very well-endowed. One thing led to another, and we retired to her bedroom. Upon revealing herself, I noticed a noxious stench coming from between her loins. So bad that I got nauseous, and i generally have a strong stomach. Like a skunk had crawled in there and died. The smell was horrible, but i was in my 20s and could tolerate such unpleasantness if it meant getting my rocks off.

Later one, upon returning home, I had to put my tightie whities in a plastic bag and throw them away. Hit the shower immediately and prayed that no STD was going to befall me within the next few days.

I had a client once leave a crazy skid mark on my bed then when he gets up he looked at me like I did it and all I could say was really right now?? On my bed?? I shower on a regular basis and I expect my client to be just as respectful and do that same.

With the stuff I do, well lets just say there are to many to mention. You get use to it!

I fucked a flight attendant in the left rear lav in a DC-10 at 35k feet. When we were done I pulled my dick out and it was covered in cheese. I said "WTF?" And she said "I've had panty hose on all day it's normal."

I fucked a flight attendant in the left rear lav in a DC-10 at 35k feet. When we were done I pulled my dick out and it was covered in cheese. I said "WTF?" And she said "I've had panty hose on all day it's normal." Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

in your dream

So Marcus, was that on SwissAir?

Pay no attention to the gremlin on the wing...

It was Northwest AL from DTM to MSP. And it was not in a dream. The lead FA helped us keep discreet in the act.

GAWD DAMN!!!! lol

That is why I try to give each gent a bubblebath before our playtime!
{and since I have BIG pu&&y lips....I keep wet wipes handy and am very careful to stay clean down there}