Impeachment by Republicans

The clownshoes fucktangle of low-wattage underachievers known as the House Republicans had a cunning plan. it went something like this:

we’re going to impeach the living shit out of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas and then we’re going to coast to reelection because …

ok, here I have to confess that the logic of this whole enterprise escapes me. I guess because “we impeached this guy you never heard of” looks good in a campaign a

naturally, the whole dumb-ass plan blew up in their stupid faces — because of course it did. these are House Republicans we’re talking about. what did you expect, competence?


here’s how this impeachment was supposed to go down: Holy Mike Johnson knew he didn’t have enough votes, but he also knew that Democratic Rep Al Green was going to be in the hospital for abdominal surgery on Tuesday, so that’s when Holy Mike scheduled the vote to take place.

recognizing this for the supreme dick move that it was, Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries phoned up Green in the hospital and was all bro get your ass over here for this vote. I’ve called an Uber and Green was all no need, my man, I’m already on my way. I wouldn’t miss this shit for the world.

no, seriously.

Then, like a scene out of a political thriller, Representative Al Green, Democrat of Texas, appeared at the last moment to cast a surprise ballot — from a wheelchair, wearing blue hospital clothing and tan socks. He voted no.

Mr. Green’s vote was decisive. It tied up the measure, 215 to 215, and handed a stunning defeat to Speaker Mike Johnson.

Republicans were fucking pissed off and stamped their feet and said that somehow it wasn’t fair of the Democrats to have more votes.


“they hid one of their members, waiting til the last minute, watching to see our votes, trying to throw us off on the numbers that we had.”


it’s called politics, Marge, and it’s not the Democrats’ fault that you’re so fucking bad at it.

with the failed impeachment out of the way, the House GOP got back to doing what it does best: blaming each other for their own incompetence.


Congresswoman Sporkfoot accused the Rs who voted no of taking bribes.

You know, I have no proof of that, but again, I can’t understand the vote. So, nothing surprises me in Washington, D.C. anymore, Charlie. Literally, nothing surprises me because—it doesn't make sense to anyone, right? Why would anyone vote no? Why would anyone protect Mayorkas unless they're being bribed, unless there's something going on, unless they're making a deal.

geez, Marge, bribes? is that really the best the meth-ravaged hamsters wheeling around in your head could come up with?

Florida transphobe Greg Steube pointed his finger at white supremacy’s middle manager, Steve Scalise — also in the hospital, for cancer treatment — for not being man enough to wheelchair his own self to the vote.

Rep. Greg Steube went on Newsmax to point at a Republican absence—House Majority Leader Steve Scalise, who had the audacity to be out for cancer treatment. “If Scalise would have been here … the bill would have passed,” Steube said.

how much of a disaster has Holy Mike Johnson been as Speaker of the House?

this much: Republicans are now speaking openly of how much they wish that Kevin McCarthy was still around.


“Getting rid of Speaker McCarthy has officially turned into an unmitigated disaster.”

that’s right, Feckless Kevin McCarthy, the guy the Freedom Caucus hated so much that they turned him into a living chew toy and then ousted him from the Speakership, is starting to look a whole lot better.

even Matt Gaetz, the inexplicably-unindicted sex pest who engineered the shitcanning of McCarthy, is having second thoughts.

“I also wonder, wouldn’t it have been nice to still have Kevin McCarthy in the House of Representatives,” Gaetz said on Newsmax. “Never thought you'd hear me say that.”


happier times
I guess the Freedom Caucus will now be drunk-dialing Kev at two in the morning to whimper “I miss us.”

it’s all so stupid. impeaching Mayorkas was supposed to be the Republicans’ consolation prize for being unable to find anything dirty to pin on Joe Biden, and they fucked it all to hell.

they can’t impeach anyone, they can’t pass any bills — they can’t even name a fucking post office.

someone remind me, what do you get when you elect clowns?

oh, right: a circus.

Written by Jeff Tiedrich

Clownshoes fucktangle!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!

Good piece. Needs link. Wish it was posted as edited where published.

Still, even then, online magazine editors suck anyway. This might be a straight cut and paste.

Good piece. Needs link. Originally Posted by eccieuser9500

I agree. For a sec, I thought eye's writing style had picked up humor and flourish... until I got to the end:

"Written by Jeff Tiedrich"

Clownshoes fucktangle!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH! Originally Posted by Yssup Rider

i like "Orange Murder-Ape" rent free on alternet



bahahaa

The clownshoes fucktangle of low-wattage underachievers known as the House Republicans had a cunning plan. it went something like this:

we’re going to impeach the living shit out of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas and then we’re going to coast to reelection because …

ok, here I have to confess that the logic of this whole enterprise escapes me. I guess because “we impeached this guy you never heard of” looks good in a campaign a

naturally, the whole dumb-ass plan blew up in their stupid faces — because of course it did. these are House Republicans we’re talking about. what did you expect, competence?


here’s how this impeachment was supposed to go down: Holy Mike Johnson knew he didn’t have enough votes, but he also knew that Democratic Rep Al Green was going to be in the hospital for abdominal surgery on Tuesday, so that’s when Holy Mike scheduled the vote to take place.

recognizing this for the supreme dick move that it was, Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries phoned up Green in the hospital and was all bro get your ass over here for this vote. I’ve called an Uber and Green was all no need, my man, I’m already on my way. I wouldn’t miss this shit for the world.

no, seriously.

Then, like a scene out of a political thriller, Representative Al Green, Democrat of Texas, appeared at the last moment to cast a surprise ballot — from a wheelchair, wearing blue hospital clothing and tan socks. He voted no.

Mr. Green’s vote was decisive. It tied up the measure, 215 to 215, and handed a stunning defeat to Speaker Mike Johnson.

Republicans were fucking pissed off and stamped their feet and said that somehow it wasn’t fair of the Democrats to have more votes.


“they hid one of their members, waiting til the last minute, watching to see our votes, trying to throw us off on the numbers that we had.”


it’s called politics, Marge, and it’s not the Democrats’ fault that you’re so fucking bad at it.

with the failed impeachment out of the way, the House GOP got back to doing what it does best: blaming each other for their own incompetence.


Congresswoman Sporkfoot accused the Rs who voted no of taking bribes.

You know, I have no proof of that, but again, I can’t understand the vote. So, nothing surprises me in Washington, D.C. anymore, Charlie. Literally, nothing surprises me because—it doesn't make sense to anyone, right? Why would anyone vote no? Why would anyone protect Mayorkas unless they're being bribed, unless there's something going on, unless they're making a deal.

geez, Marge, bribes? is that really the best the meth-ravaged hamsters wheeling around in your head could come up with?

Florida transphobe Greg Steube pointed his finger at white supremacy’s middle manager, Steve Scalise — also in the hospital, for cancer treatment — for not being man enough to wheelchair his own self to the vote.

Rep. Greg Steube went on Newsmax to point at a Republican absence—House Majority Leader Steve Scalise, who had the audacity to be out for cancer treatment. “If Scalise would have been here … the bill would have passed,” Steube said.

how much of a disaster has Holy Mike Johnson been as Speaker of the House?

this much: Republicans are now speaking openly of how much they wish that Kevin McCarthy was still around.


“Getting rid of Speaker McCarthy has officially turned into an unmitigated disaster.”

that’s right, Feckless Kevin McCarthy, the guy the Freedom Caucus hated so much that they turned him into a living chew toy and then ousted him from the Speakership, is starting to look a whole lot better.

even Matt Gaetz, the inexplicably-unindicted sex pest who engineered the shitcanning of McCarthy, is having second thoughts.

“I also wonder, wouldn’t it have been nice to still have Kevin McCarthy in the House of Representatives,” Gaetz said on Newsmax. “Never thought you'd hear me say that.”


happier times
I guess the Freedom Caucus will now be drunk-dialing Kev at two in the morning to whimper “I miss us.”

it’s all so stupid. impeaching Mayorkas was supposed to be the Republicans’ consolation prize for being unable to find anything dirty to pin on Joe Biden, and they fucked it all to hell.

they can’t impeach anyone, they can’t pass any bills — they can’t even name a fucking post office.

someone remind me, what do you get when you elect clowns?

oh, right: a circus.

Written by Jeff Tiedrich Originally Posted by eyecu2

amusing this clown is the "face" of the TDS Cult?



sounds about right to me


BAAHHAAAAAA

Originally Posted by Zollner

BAHHAAHHAAA

Jeff is a fucking genius writer with great affinity for poking the sensitive underbelly of the GOP. And in the language of the common man. While you could call it TDS, or DEMs would simply say he's saying what everyone is thinking out loud. If you still think Trump's the everybody's idea of a good POTUS, you would be way wrong.

Love Jeff or hate him...he's simply a messenger.

Jeff is a fucking genius writer with great affinity for poking the sensitive underbelly of the GOP. And in the language of the common man. While you could call it TDS, or DEMs would simply say he's saying what everyone is thinking out loud. If you still think Trump's the everybody's idea of a good POTUS, you would be way wrong.

Love Jeff or hate him...he's simply a messenger. Originally Posted by eyecu2

Tiedrich is a leftist socialist shill poster boy for the TDS Cult.


he's a nobody twittyXbird tard cheerleader for the twittyXbird TDS Cult.


he's only a "genius" to the TDS Cult.

Tiedrich is a leftist socialist shill poster boy for the TDS Cult.


he's a nobody twittyXbird tard cheerleader for the twittyXbird TDS Cult.


he's only a "genius" to the TDS Cult. Originally Posted by The_Waco_Kid

Lol "if you say so"

His shit is Funny AF

Lol "if you say so"

His shit is Funny AF Originally Posted by eyecu2

to the Cult of TDS yes?


thank you valued poster

... No reason to barney there, mates.

The Republicans may try the Impeachment again this coming week.

At first you don't succeed - try, try again...

#### Salty

Clownshoes fucktangle!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH! Originally Posted by Yssup Rider

That's a good description of this Administration.

... No reason to barney there, mates.

The Republicans may try the Impeachment again this coming week.

At first you don't succeed - try, try again...

#### Salty Originally Posted by Salty Again

No, you do it right the first time. You make it stick or don't do it at all. Look how the Democrats have been toying with Trump for the last Seven years making asses out of them selves. If you keep trying over and over just to get the same results that's called insanity.

Lol "if you say so"

His shit is Funny AF Originally Posted by eyecu2

This whole political system is funny. It reminds me of a SNL skit, lol.

I agree. For a sec, I thought eye's writing style had picked up humor and flourish... until I got to the end:

"Written by Jeff Tiedrich" Originally Posted by lustylad

Is it a curse. I've not been trained. Academically. But just from the amount of reading I've done over the decades, I can pick up on style and humor.

The grammar was all there; just a little harsh to take in the way it was written/presented. I liked it if course. Touched my funny bone.

Jeff is a fucking genius writer with great affinity for poking the sensitive underbelly of the GOP. And in the language of the common man. While you could call it TDS, or DEMs would simply say he's saying what everyone is thinking out loud. If you still think Trump's the everybody's idea of a good POTUS, you would be way wrong.

Love Jeff or hate him...he's simply a messenger. Originally Posted by eyecu2

Yes. A messenger we are. On our side. I just wish it was easier to digest (read). Just sayin'.

Tiedrich is a leftist socialist shill poster boy for the TDS Cult.


he's a nobody twittyXbird tard cheerleader for the twittyXbird TDS Cult.


he's only a "genius" to the TDS Cult. Originally Posted by The_Waco_Kid

I've never heard of him.

Lol "if you say so"

His shit is Funny AF Originally Posted by eyecu2

He is funny. Outrageous. Exagerant.

https://mobile-dictionary.reverso.ne...lish/exagerant

to the Cult of TDS yes?


thank you valued poster Originally Posted by The_Waco_Kid

Yes. And it's DDS. Dumpster Derangement Syndrome.

This whole political system is funny. It reminds me of a SNL skit, lol. Originally Posted by Levianon17

Looking . . . . :